Planet Ressort

A London Lunchbreak

2012-02-04T02:56:00.005+11:00

Apologies for my long absence. It has been a busy few months as I ultimately decided to take the leap and move back to London. While I love Australia, and Sydney will always feel like a second home, the lure of family & friends was just too strong. My attempts at being a rootless citizen of the world only helped me realise just how rooted I really am.

So now I am back in London. I arrived late November and started working almost straight away (I'm not happy unless I'm busy & never let me pretend otherwise). It has been quite an emotional adjustment but I'm still very much at peace with the decision that I made to return. I'm happy here.

In order to ensure I remain happy I have fully embraced the cultural richness that London offers. It feels really good to behave like a tourist in my own city. I recommend it to everyone. I'm going to lots of plays, concerts, films, dinners with friends and I'm taking very long walks through the streets of London to make sure that all that London-ness seeps in and warms my bones.

There are some hangovers (good ones) from Sydney. Given my propensity to walk, I've become addicted to London's bridges. Waterloo, as always, remains my favourite for the "London moment" views (proximity to Waterloo station doesn't hurt either). I think this is because I need to see the water. I saw Sydney Harbour everyday, the water soothes me. I suspect that a proper trip to the sea will be required soon though, the Thames can only do so much.

The other habit is my lunchtime walks. Instead of strolling by the harbour in a summer dress though I'm now wrapped up warm and strolling through Regent's Park (right next to my office). It has to be one of my favourite London parks. You walk through certain parts & feel like you've stepped back in time. Exactly what you need to re-set the old brain cells in the middle of a hard day's work.

Speaking of which I'd better tie up a few bits & bobs before I can enjoy an indulgent weekend packed full of London goodness.

Escaping the Hotel Lounge

2011-09-11T17:38:00.002+10:00

How often do you make a major life choice? No, deciding what to have for dinner doesn’t count.

How often do you even review what your choices are? Or are you driving on auto pilot through life? Sometimes the status quo, no matter how miserable it makes you, is the only choice you can see. But unless you are in prison, which is designed to remove the luxury of choice from the prisoner, you do have choices. They aren’t necessarily going to be easy choices. In fact making important, life altering decisions is a distinctly uncomfortable experience.

The reality is that being unsettled by our choices is one of the main reasons that we put up with situations that make us unhappy. Passivity is a growing modern phenomenon as we struggle with indecision. The making of the “wrong” decision feels so much more dangerous than opting out and making no decision at all. This is bullshit!

For one, living in a perpetual hotel lounge is the only consistently wrong choice you can make. It will wear you down. Your abilities to make a decision will atrophy. Eventually you simply won’t be able to find your way out for want of being able to even see the exit sign.

Secondly, while you live in your passive little bubble, people in the world around you are making choices and these will impact you. Change is inevitable. You can either be its victim or its champion.

I have recently had choice forced upon me. I have to move out of my comfortable little house in Sydney. Louis and I have 2 months to find a new place to call home. The initial trauma was horrible. I’m not an agent of change, particularly if that change is disruptive to my day-to-day life. I reacted the only way I know how. I started to research all my options. The house hunt began in earnest within minutes of my being given the news. I didn’t stop to analyse my choices, I scrambled frantically to keep my life exactly how it was. I wanted to find a new home, quick smart, move in and carry on as usual.

Lucky for me, my initial research yielded little success (don’t get me started on anti-pet buildings). This meant that the decision making part of my brain had a chance to be heard. It made me stop my search, just for now. It has made me realise that there are a lot of things that I need to review. I suddenly realised that I had a lot more choices than I realised if I was brave enough to look at them all.

So that is what I’m in the process of doing. It is a very unsettling experience. I find that I have a lot of nervous energy that I didn’t have before. Now that I’m properly using my brain, my body is awake. I’m also much more aware of what makes me happy and what doesn’t.

In fact, I could say that I’m living a much more mindful life. While I may not know where I’ll be living in just over 2 months from now, I have the courage to weigh up my options and make the right choice for me. Once I’ve made those choices and followed them wherever they might take me, I’ll tell you all about it.

I leave you now to live your lives mindfully. I hope you find it as invigorating as I do.

Short Story: Time Travel, Baby Sisters and Hobbits

2011-08-07T18:17:00.004+10:00

At school they make us write about what it means to be Australian and stuff. That’s cos I’m an Australian. So is my mum. My Dad is what we call a Pom. He isn’t from Pomland but a place called England. England is so far away that they are backwards in time, which makes it complicated when Dad is trying to phone them cos he has to pick a time that works in the past as well as now.

I’ve never been there but Dad has decided that we are all going to go this Summer cos he wants us to meet our pom family properly, cos talking through the video on the computer doesn’t count.

I’m not sure about it cos Mum says it never stops raining and the trains never come. Sitting at stations and getting wet sounds rubbish. I’d rather go to the beach but Dad has promised that I can use his enormous umbrella that pops open when you press the button. It is a really cool umbrella. If Batman had an umbrella it would be like this one cos it’s black and has the turbo charged open button.

Course going back in time will be cool too. I’ll know what’s going to happen but I won’t tell no one cos that might change history and stuff like in the movies. Messing up the space time continumum is bad and you can end up not existing cos you change things and are never born and stuff.

Mum seems worried about the trip. I asked if she was worried about me changing the space time continumum, cos she didn’t need to worry cos I knew about stuff like that and would be careful but she told me to stop being silly. This is what she always says when she is only half listening and thinking about something else. I can tell cos her eyes don’t look at me.

I heard her shouting at Dad and she is worried about 24 hours on an aeroplane with 3 kids. I don’t know why she is worried cos Dad told me all about aeroplanes and they sound cool. He says you can watch movies and play games and other cool stuff without leaving your seat, it is all in the ‘puter on your seat. It will be like we each have our own IPad, I won’t need to fight with my sister Charlie to use Dad’s.

Dad has told her not to worry, that Mabel will be fine. Mabel is my baby sister. She isn’t big like me and Charlie so she can’t play games or watch movies. All Mabel does all day is blow spit bubbles, fart really loudly and do smelly things in her nappy that my mum has to clean up. She can do that on the aeroplane too, no worries. Sometimes she cries too but normally that is cos she wants you to plug a dummy in her mouth. Babies are easy.

It will be a waste really cos she won’t be able to ‘preciate the time travel or her own ‘puter with games and movies. Sometimes she stares for ages at cuddly toys going round and round over her head and she even laughs. I was worried that she was stupid but mum got cross with me for saying that and told me that I was just like Mabel once too.

I don’t remember being that little but I’ve seen photos so it must be true. I asked Mum if I farted as much as Mabel does but she just said “Oh Georgie” with a big sigh, which means that I’ve just said something wrong. She does this a lot.

My best friend Tom isn’t coming with us cos his parents are taking him to the red centre. The red centre is in the middle of Australia and is really cool cos it looks like Mars so Tom is going to explore and look for new life. He’s going to be a famous scientist one day, he told me so.

Tom thinks my time travel trip is cool but he thinks it’s weird we’re going backwards. If he was time travelling he’d go to the future. I asked Dad if we could go to the future instead but he just laughed and said we’d go to New Zealand another time.

I thought this was really weird cos I learned about New Zealand at school and they never said it’s in the future. All they told us is that it has lots of volcanoes and sheep and hobbits. That is a rubbish future. Really in the future there should be future people dressed in silver with lots of cool stuff we don’t have yet.

I don’t think Dad was being properly truthful about New Zealand being in the future. I think he was adult lying. Adult lying isn’t like Kid lying cos you get in trouble for kid lying but adult lying is ok. It is OK cos with adult lying the other adults know the adult is lying and they laugh cos it is like a big lie that is actually a joke. A bit like stories which aren’t true but aren’t lying either cos they are just a story. So maybe Dad is telling me a story about New Zealand being in the future.

One day I’ll get Dad to take me to the future, the proper future not some story future that is full of short people with hairy feet.

Home is...

2011-07-31T20:42:00.005+10:00

... where the heart is?

... where your stuff is?

... the address financial institutions and banks have for you?

... wherever you lay your hat?

... where the cat is?

Frankly I don't know. Is the answer to the question of home as simple as a single address? I've got at least two homes right now. Some might call that greedy but a heart shared across 2 countries isn't as fun as it might sound.

Going back to England recently was a great opportunity to catch up with family, friends and felines. I had a fabulous time, but there’s no escaping that it was an emotional roller coaster: each exuberant hello was followed far too soon by sad goodbyes. That is the reality of choosing to live on the other side of the planet. The time you get to spend with those you left in your home of origin is far too fleeting. That was the sacrifice I made.

Why would I do that? What is so special about this new life I’ve built for myself? Well it took time but I adjusted and I nested. I made friends, created new routines, adopted pets, started writing again and one day I woke and realised that I love this new life. It suits who I am now. Living alone so far from where I grew up forced me to custom build my life to suit who I am today.

Sometimes you can feel rootless because you've lost the comfortable short hand of years of shared experiences. It can feel as if people don't know who you really are, because they didn’t see the evolution for themselves. At the same time this can be liberating. There are no assumptions based on the old "yesterday" you.

We are all works in progress, we need to change but sometimes we don't let ourselves. Maybe that is where my urge to move to the land of far far away came from. I am more guilty than most of not just getting stuck but wallowing in a rut. I needed to shake things up and as I never do things by half measures I now live in Australia (new home) and only get to visit England (original home) every other year.

I definitely shook things up. In fact I had a much needed mental collapse. I had buried trauma beneath the rubble of stress and routine for years, but finding me distracted by a new environment it managed to sneak to the surface. This was terrifying. I’ve never felt such darkness, the black dog bit me hard. Shortly after being diagnosed with acute depression my doctor told me that her patients who made it through this kind of breakdown often ended up being the strongest and most well adjusted people that she knew.

I’m not an advertisement for the obscenely well adjusted just yet but after 3 years I’m newly off the medication and so far the black dog is staying away. I like to think that Louis the cat wouldn’t be letting him visit for long if he did turn up. Frankly the life-sucking parasite depression isn’t welcome in any of my homes.

Photos: Top is Daisy May Dazzler resident cuddler in my London home. Below is Louis my Sydney home guard cat & incorrigible flirt

Ressort's Review of Recent Reads

2011-05-08T17:10:00.003+10:00

I may have over-indulged with the alliteration in the title but I couldn't resist.

As I'm an avid reader I've decided that on occasion I will blog about some of the rather fabulous books that I've had the pleasure of spending time absorbed in. I've had a really good run of some really inspiring works. Here are the books that I've particularly enjoyed over the last few months:

The Seamstress by Frances de Pontes Peebles

This is a book I picked up because it was on sale. I discover a lot of new writers through the cut price book stalls you can find here in Australia. Sorry but the price of a brand new first hand book is obscene, particularly for someone who grew up in England (we're talking at least 3x the price people!! Insanity I tell you). So when I'm not throwing myself into the loving arms of a second hand bookshop (I believe there is magic captured within the walls of second hand bookshops, it ' the only way to explain the "lost time" phenomenon I experience when I walk into one), I'm finding bargains at book stalls where I've even been known to find works by Haruki Murakami (be still my beating heart)

This is all by the by in terms of the experience of reading The Seamstress but it does highlight how you can find gems in the most unexpected places, including a food hall in North Sydney.

The Seamstress is an epic novel of love, adventure and politics. Set in Brazil & spanning a period from 1928 to 1935, this books follows the two very different but intertwining stories of 2 sisters from a small village, who through some very dramatic circumstances lead very different lives. 1 ends up married into a wealthy family in a city, the other is kidnapped by rebel bandits and become one of them. This may all sound rather over the top but these two different lives are used to depict the political and social situation in Brazil across that period.

In both cases Frances de Pontes Peebles avoids the trap of over romanticising the lives of her protagonists, as both sisters are forced to grow up and face the harsh realities of life. This is not a swashbuckling novel for the faint-hearted but nor is it so brutal that you lose sympathy for the sisters.

For those that enjoy a meaty read that gives a really strong sense of place and period, with strong character development, the Seamstress if for you. I really enjoyed it and felt thoroughly satisfied when I finished the final pages.

The Girl with Glass Feet by Ali Shaw

This was another North Sydney food hall find. I bought this book because it was a first time novelist (as someone working on her own first novel, I love reading books by new writers). I could be mean and say I didn't completely fall in love with this novel, but that would be talent envy speaking.

I LOVED this book. I've now lent it to a friend and bought it for another and will keep spreading the word, even if everyone thinks I'm mad. I've even started to twitter stalk the author (well I follow @ali_shaw on twitter, which is kind of the point of twitter but it amuses me to think of myself as a twitter stalker - plus I need to be on top of when novel no 2 is going to be released into the universe for me to consume). All joking aside, a fan is born, and Ali Shaw has been added to my "must read" list of novelists. These are the novelists for which I will pay full price for their latest works at my local Australian bookshop, because I simply have to have the book then and there. This is a surprisingly short list which compromises Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Rupert Thomson, Haruki Murakami, Neil Gaiman, David Mitchell, Carlos Ruiz Zafon and Scarlett Thomas. (and yes if they're on twitter I follow them, unless they don't write in English that is cos my Japanese & Portugese is hopeless)

Why did I love Ali Shaw' first novel so much? Because it if was a colour it would a mysterious foggy grey/white. Because it fuses fantasy with reality in a way that doesn't feel forced or trite, but instead feels possible. As if suddenly turning to glass could happen to you.

He creates wonderful but wounded characters and weaves a web of secrets that will keep you hooked to the end. Not for those that struggle to suspend disbelief, The Girl with Glass Feet is a beautiful, haunting first novel that I'll be re-reading for years to come.

One Day by David Nicholls

I always approach critically acclaimed books with some trepidation. It is the same with films that everyone tells you are "simply amazing", the hype can put me off. So I hesitated before reading "One Day" but it lived up to the reviews.

What a wonderful read. I agree with the review by Jonathan Coe on the cover of my copy as "you really do put the book down with the hallucinatory feeling that they've become as well known to you as your closest friends"

What really made this an immensely satisfying read is the obvious warmth and affection that David Nicholls has for his protagonists even as he puts them through hell. They are not picture perfect people with sterile lives but very much inhabit the same flesh & blood world that we do.

The concept of catching up with them on the same day every year, could have easily felt forced and clunky but instead Nicholls makes the narrative fly. I was reluctant to close the final pages of a truly compassionate book about human nature and relationships. I think I would struggle to find someone who doesn't finish this novel feeling as if they really know Emma and Dexter, they are among the most well rounded characters I've ever had the pleasure to meet.

The Night Watch by Sarah Waters

I'm a big fan of Sarah Waters and positively devoured Little Stranger on my last holiday. I bought Night Watch as I was interested in catching up on her back catalogue.

As with One Day, The Night Watch has an unusual structure, in this case the narrative starts in 1947 and works back to 1941. As a reader who enjoys the "big reveal" of your standard chronology I was surprised by how much interest and tension Sarah Waters could create with a story that goes backwards.

Past events are hinted at, with the truth eventually revealed. Set in London starting after WWII before going back to the very vivid setting of the Blitz, The Night Watch follow 4 characters whose lives are linked across the 6 years of the story.

Kay, Helen, Viv and Duncan have all suffered as a result of not quite fitting into society. Going back in time we come to understand why Kay walks the streets alone dressed like man, why Helen is so obsessively jealous, why Viv continues to have an unsatisfactory affair with a married man and what is so wrong with Duncan.

As with many of Sarah Waters' books, sexual identity is a key underlying theme and one of the contributing factors that makes our four protagonists feel like outsiders.

I would recommend this book to pretty well anyone, unless you happen to be homophobic ( but as I don't seek out the company of narrow minded or intolerant people hoping that doesn't apply to any of my blog readers).

The End (for now... so many books, not enough time)

Conversation with a Moonbeam (a spot of flash fiction)

2011-05-05T00:08:00.003+10:00

I talked to a moonbeam the other day. I lay in a field, the grass prickling my sun tarnished legs. I gazed up at the sky, squinting my eyes to catch the moonbeam mid flight as it rippled towards me.

I asked it questions that leapt like fish from the ocean of my mind

"where are you going?"

"where are you from?"

"can you see the future?"

"were you ever human too?"

The questions bubbled and frothed, bombarding the moonbeam. More & more spilt from me, slowing it until it stopped just above my head.

It seemed to ponder them all before caressing my face with its tentative light. The touch, as pure as silver weighted my eyes with sleep. In the world of dreams the moonbeam answered me with seductive slowness. Long pauses peppered the answers as it carefully examined the questions for their true meaning.

My soul sang at the answers. I could feel my body purring with the freedom of understanding. All mental barriers were knocked down one by one.

A fire came blazing through my dreams scattering the moonbeam and making my precious knowledge evaporate like dew.

Reaching out to grasp whatever remaining flakes I could my eyes burst open. The moon was gone, banished by an angry and jealous sun. The gift of understanding was scorched from my mind.

I thought I might cry but a sliver of silver remained. A moonbeam spoke to me, a truth that will survive the rational light of day.

Baby with the Bath Water

2011-01-09T16:35:00.005+11:00

Welcome to my first post of 2011. As you may have noticed I took a blogging break over the silly season but now I’m back and primed to blog voraciously. Well, maybe voracious is too strong a word, but my determination to examine the events of my life is renewed following this rest from introspection.

So how are we all feeling about 2011? Do you have ambitious resolutions that will make you a more effective, bionic version of your 2010 selves? Have you fully embraced the New Year, New You frenzy that kicks in with a vengeance every January?

I haven’t. That is the short answer to my own questions. I don’t need to be a new, improved me. I don’t want to beat myself up for my “bad habits”. I don’t think that it is realistic to expect me to go from hedonist one day to healthy automaton the next. 1st January doesn’t signal a sudden switch in my behaviours. If only it were that easy.

Why would I want to set myself up for failure in 2011? I want to enjoy 2011. I want to revel in the opportunities that it brings me. I want a guilt-free 2011 where I continue to invest in myself but accept my weaknesses with love and affection.

There is nothing more insidious and exhausting than constant self recrimination. I feel that the culture of annual resolutions creates more wide spread self recrimination than it does long term positive behavioural change. People get so caught up in the date change that they believe that suddenly making the changes that they want to make in their lives will be easy. It doesn’t work that way.

You need to start with an honest appraisal of yourself. If the change of year has prompted you to reflect on yourself, your happiness and the opportunities to bring more harmony to your life, that is fabulous. But a bullet pointed list of things you will and won’t do in the coming months is the wrong way to go about it. I’d be really interested to find out the statistics around ex-smokers that successfully quit in January. I bet that the conversion rate to happy long-term ex-smokers will be discouragingly low.

If you are a smoker and you want to stop, I recommend dealing with the psychological addiction. Steer clear of the marketing gimmick that is nicotine patches (I speak from experience nicotine withdrawal isn’t what makes you go back to cigarettes) and make sure that you are stopping when you are mentally ready, which is unlikely to be suddenly at the stroke of midnight. Real life doesn’t resemble a Cinderella story in reverse. Reading Alan Carr’s book is what worked for me, if you want to explore that route, I can endorse it. However, it may not be the right solution for you. Explore the options, be honest about your triggers and be generous with yourself throughout the whole process. If you do it based on your own timetable your chances of success will increase exponentially.

Of course smoking is just one of the many popular New Year resolutions which also include: weight loss; getting fitter; stressing less; working less, and spending more time with the family. Whatever your poison(s), don’t be disappointed if 2011 doesn’t make it magically easy to change your ways. There is no date from which you will suddenly find it easy to make radical changes to your lifestyle. Frankly I don’t remember reading a manual for life that tells us that living to our full potential would be easy. It is a challenge. We live in a society that is obsessed with convenience which can skew our perception of reality.

We are all works in progress. There is no sudden “new you” but if you invest positive energy in nurturing yourself, when you are celebrating the dawn of 2012, odds are you’ll look back and realise that 2011 was a vintage year. By avoiding the creation of a mass list of resolutions, you won’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Focus on what you need on a daily basis, and you won’t lose your way.

For me, this means that I will continue to focus on the things that motivate and de-motivate me. I want to live a passionate life full of energy and creativity. So in my on-going exercises in introspection, I’ll be checking-in with myself to see whether I’m allowing myself to do that. If not, well I won’t be beating myself up about it. I’ll be going into the next day more self-aware and open to exploring new adventures.

(Pictured above: Sake, Jodie & Ian's puppy, who likes to dig holes that are 5x bigger than she is)

Sunny Days and Snow Storms

2010-12-21T00:21:00.003+11:00

Having grown up in England, Christmas in Australia never really feels 100% right. This may well explain the introduction of the tradition of “Christmas in July” although frankly even in the midst of winter, Sydney never quite gets cold enough for me to hear the faint whisper of sleigh bells on a chilly Southerly wind (see even the winds are the other way round, Northerlies are the chill-bringers in England).

Saying that, and before all the Australians I know tell me to pack my bags and go home, it doesn’t feel wrong either. It is simply that Christmas is a very different experience for me here but it is still very much a season that inspires gratitude for the wonderful people around me. Whether sitting on a beach or rugged up in a London pub, the festive season is all about catching up with the people that make your life meaningful.

It isn’t just about those that are in the same time zone as you. I’m suddenly hyper aware of the Christmas developments back home. This makes me feel connected to my family and I’m really excited about calling them Christmas Day morning (Christmas Eve evening in UK when my predominantly Polish family gather together to celebrate Wigilia). Over the noisy background noise of 30+ boisterous members of my family the telephone receiver will be passed around so that I can catch up with my mum, my god daughter (who turns 18 Christmas Eve and is really the most wonderful young woman), my aunt, my uncle and my cousins. It may not be the same as being with them but hearing their voices is now an integral part of my new Christmas tradition.

Plus the reality is that even if I had been planning to go back to England for this Christmas, the odds would have been against my making it. The snow that made me vow last year to only visit in the European summer is back with a vengeance and causing no end of mayhem for people all over the world. The ensuing chaos means that the gifts I sent may or may not make it (my aunt updates me – I can’t actually track the pacakge as sending it recorded delivery would have pushed the postage north of $140 which is nuts). Since it is out of my hands, all I can do is hope for the best.

Now would be a great time to wish for some Christmas miracles though, so St Nicholas if you could please oblige here are mine:
- For my friends trying to make it home, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with fabulous people even if it may not be exactly where you were planning to be.
- For my Wigilia-going family, I hope the snow allows you to safely make the trip to Berkshire so that you can all be together to share Opłatek as per decades of tradition.
- For packages that are currently in postal limbo, I hope that you find your way to your destinations and deliver the smiles the gifts inside were selected to inspire.
- For the Queen of England, don’t be afraid to experiment with your Christmas speech: I’d love to see you break with etiquette and tell us what you really think. Go on, you know you want to!

I’ll be spending a lovely Christmas Day with my big brother Guy, his wife Ann, my nephew Tom and their pets Alfie (puppy) and Joey (rabbit). Some might say that Guy isn’t actually my brother because he isn’t a blood relative but to them I’d answer “if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck than it’s a friggin’ duck.” Hopefully Gertie Getz will get me there (she recently threw a strop, we’re working through it) ummm maybe I shouldn’t have used up my quota of Christmas miracles.

On that note I’ll sign off. Louis is sound asleep on the sofa in the most improbable position that means that his tummy is in immediate need to tickling.

Merry Christmas!!

Interim Post

2010-12-13T22:31:00.002+11:00

It is Monday night and I'm feeling quite exhausted so I won't be doing my usual detailed post. I wanted to reassure my friend and family that all is good with me. My silence isn't some sinister reflection regarding my new job. I'm actually really enjoying it at ZenthOptimedia. They are a lovely bunch of people and I'm in the midst of a major information download. It is always weird being the new girl though, take a while before you feel fully functioning.

The only negative recently was an unfortunate bout of food poisoning that kicked in during the early hours of Saturday morning, knocking me on my bottom for the rest of the weekend. Fortunately between Louis and Indiana, I had plenty of felines checking in on me. Cats really are a lot more sensitive than people give the credit for. My boys looked after me.

I drove Gertie Getz to work this morning and managed not to get lost (this is a first). I have to admit, driving is rather frighteningly addictive. Bang goes the planet. I had my guitar lesson this evening which was great fun. Now I've been learning Wonderwall, Opportunity and Disarm which makes for a nice mix of tunes to mess around with. I'll be happy if I can play them and someone can actually recognise what I'm playing lol.

Louis is currently doing a fabulous impersonation of a big fluffy rug. Between the excitement of my guitar lesson (he loves them) and his dinner, I think he's exhausted himself ; )

Leah, the kitten from next door, just escaped which led to a fun packed 10 mins chasing her down the street. She is the naughtiest little ragdoll, not sure where she was trying to get to, but she does love making a break for it on a regular basis.

So it has been an action packed Monday night and I need to get a good night's sleep before my big day tomorrow. I'm off to see JayZ and U2 in concert tomorrow night. So excited!!

Normal blogging will resume this weekend. Take care all

Escaping the Box

2010-12-05T22:26:00.002+11:00

I struggled with the title of this post because all the options that I came up with didn’t quite work. It was almost “Love what you do”, flitted to “Be free to be”, hovered over “Escaping your inner demons” and finally ended up being the rather odd “Escaping the Box”.

So what do I mean by “Escaping the Box”? I think the rejected titles should give you a pretty good idea but we’ll start with what has inspired me this week.

In my current visa-less stasis I have the luxury of time, something that I frequently lack (or feel as if I do). This would be the perfect opportunity to dedicate time to my passion of writing. Actually I lie, my real passion is storytelling and writing is the means that allows me to explore that passion (I have limited creative abilities outside of my way with words). I actually find writing very hard and sometimes even torturous. While I am getting some drafting of concepts done, I have suddenly become extremely shy of writing and am nowhere near as prolific as I thought I would be given the circumstances. There is a great big wall blocking me so that my ideas rattle around my head in growing numbers but I’m increasingly reluctant to commit them to paper. I’ve tried knocking this wall down but it is strong, I should know, I built it.

I have very effectively created a box around myself and I’m finding it hard to stretch outside of its confines. I had help building this box, but while I could point to society, education, other people, time, work, money, stress as providing some of the building blocks, the reality is that as the architect I need to take responsibility for it. I keep waiting for the stars to align, for everything to be perfect, so that I can begin work on my masterpiece. This alignment of celestial influences is the code for opening the box, so that I can explode outwards and fulfil my potential. What a load of bollocks!

The ideas are sitting inside me, like anxious children desperate to get out, explore and have amazing adventures. Instead I’m keeping them locked up blaming everything BUT myself for my reluctance to set them free. There is no code for opening the box. I just need to reach up and push open the lid and the thought scares me. What if I free these ideas, this creative potential and it disappoints? I’m paralysed with the fear that if I set these stories free, they’ll become flat, two dimensional, lifeless words on a sheet of paper. I’ve been germinating some of these stories for so long, that for them to die in the outside world would feel like a still-birth. I would feel as if I had failed them, better to keep them locked away until a better time comes.

The truth is that a better time will never come. I need to set myself free from my own crippling fears and self-imposed limitations NOW. I suspect that I’m not alone in needing to escape a box of my own creation. How often do you stop yourself from doing something because you believe you will fail? What is so bad about failing? Never trying is surely 10 times worse, but we can hide our dreams and ambitions, while often our failures are more public. So is it public opinion that we are afraid of?

Have you ever caught yourself whispering your true dreams to a friend, almost embarrassed by them? Our hopes can feel impossibly vulnerable and this can trigger our need to protect them. But instead, what we are really doing is stifling and repressing them. I think the most successful people we admire around us are those that never felt the need to build their own protective box. They embrace their dreams, learn and grow from their failures and see where they take them. How can we enjoy success if we are good at everything we do and never fail?

The next time you speak to a friend or colleague who has recently spectacularly failed at doing something, don’t feel sorry for them. Congratulate them for trying, for getting involved, for not holding themselves back. You should admire the people that try to live their dreams. I sometimes think that there is a small mindedness in many of us, which would have us holding others back because of our own fear of failure.

One of the aspects I really like of Australian culture is that of giving everyone a “fair go”. There is an inherent optimism here that is lacking in Europe. An example I’ll give is of a French man who has set up his own company doing wine tours in the Hunter Valley. When he told his Australian friends what he was doing, they were really pleased for him: very encouraging and supportive. When he told his French friends, they started to list all potential problems he might face, the many ways it could go wrong and why he was crazy to give up a stable income for the unknown. Well, last time I saw him (as one of his customers) he seemed to be doing just fine, thank you.

My problem is that my inner dialogue seems to be very French and not particularly Australian. I don’t give myself the support and encouragement I need. I feel surprised by how much I get from my family and friends (from all around the world), which can make me feel like a phoney because they seem to have more faith in me than I have. I was speaking to some friends about my novel idea: they seemed so genuinely engaged with the concept that it was a phenomenal boost to my confidence. It was after this boost that I truly felt the claustrophobia of living in my self-imposed box. The very next day I wanted to write and I found plenty of other things that were suddenly urgent to do instead. The day after, I read an entire novel from start to finish. Finally, several days later, I’ve realised that I’m never going to let myself write until I destroy the box and fully put myself out there.

So this post is me taking a sledge hammer to this box. I want to tell you I’m working on my first novel. The protagonist is a rather wonderful lady called Mrs Millicent Daily and she wants her story to be committed to paper. I am promising to do this for her and one shouldn’t break one’s promises, even if they are given to fictional characters that currently only exist in one’s head. The only way that I can truly fail in this endeavour is if I don’t write this book. Even if I write it and am dissatisfied with the results, I’ll still have succeeded. I don’t want to not try. I don’t want to cage up my potential and treat it like some valuable but easily shattered gem. I want to set myself free, escape the box, embrace the fear and write my book.

What action are you going to take, to make your dreams reality?

Pictured above: Louis knows exactly what to do with a box lid: flatten it!

The Waiting Game

2010-12-02T20:26:00.002+11:00

I often joke that my lack of patience comes from my French genes (have you ever seen the French try to queue? It doesn’t come naturally) but putting joking aside, I’m very bad at dealing with uncertainty. As someone who is trying very hard to learn to live in the “now”, I struggle not to be preoccupied with the “later”. You must know the feeling: that distracting knot in the base of your belly that does the occasional back flip to ensure that it keeps churning up your worries about what is coming “later”.

My current overactive belly knot relates to my still to be approved new 457 visa. As I’m changing companies I’m getting a new sponsorship visa. The downside is that I was due to start work yesterday but can’t because the visa still isn’t through. So my Now looks great, I have extra holiday time. Except I find it hard to enjoy it as the knot keeps churning up questions about “how long will this holiday be?” and “how long can I afford not to be working?” It’s crazy, I’ve missed 2 working days so far and am fighting the urge to panic already. Saying that, we’ve had a little progress with the lovely folks at Aussie Immigration (love your work guys, really do, honestly am not just kissing butt in hope you’ll speed up my visa approval, that would be cynical) so it is looking hopeful that approval will be through in the next few days.

The reality is that as I can’t control when this will happen, I feel a tad cranky. Don’t misunderstand, I’m loving the extra time off. Today I’ve been writing, took Gertie Getz out for a spin and bought some yummy healthy goodness from Harris Farms and Fourth Village (going to stuff myself full of raspberries later) and watched a rather mediocre rom-com that I’d recorded (Did you hear about the Morgans? = spot on for a lazy rainy day but not a film I’d go out of my way to watch).

Does this make me a control freak? The more I think about it, the more I realise it’s when I’m relying on others (and particularly if those others are some kind of bureaucratic organisation) that my belly knot does Olympic level acrobatics and I get a major case of the cranks. Don’t I trust other people to get it right? I know I had to work long and hard on my delegation skills but I thought I’d cracked that particular problem. I don’t think it’s about my needing to do everything myself, it is more about the lack of control that I have over others to do what they need to do. After all, if I picked up the telephone to call immigration it would have zero influence on them.

Government departments and similar organisations are structured in such a way as to ensure that you feel as impotent as possible. I suspect that this is why they get so much rage directed at them. People don’t like to feel helpless. Like a cornered animal, they will fight back. Is this something that organisations need to do more about? After all, it will make the lives of their staff much more pleasant if the majority of the people they deal with aren’t frothing at the mouth with rabid frustration. Banks, governments, telephone companies, energy companies take note: your customers (and governments please don’t forget that your people are, to all intents and purposes, your customers) need to feel they have some level of control to prevent explosions of anger.

A perfectly happy, calm person can transform into Cujo (after he has contracted rabies) if they face the following:

Endless recorded messages that send them circling around without reaching a real person

Speaking to a completely disengaged person (or empty vessel) who has no power or control of their own and therefore their only interest is to transfer you onto another empty vessel

No news, no commitment, no timelines: seriously how can there be no one who can give you clarification re when you are going to get the answers you are chasing? Why hide these magical oracles from us?

Admittedly businesses are getting wise to this and there have been improvements but not enough. In this age of social networking, you can’t afford to be sending out Cujos to infect the rest of the population against you.

So to answer my question, I don’t think I am a control freak. I think I’m a pretty normal person, prone to higher than average levels of anxiety, who just wants some kind of reassurance that things are happening and moving forward. While I’d love to have a couple of weeks off, sadly my landlord equally loves to be paid rent (weird I know) so it isn’t controlling to worry about when I’ll be able to start working again. But it does mean that my focus isn’t as in the Now as I would like. After all it is a warm evening, Martha Wainwright’s fabulous voice is serenading me via my Yamaha speakers , some beautiful aromatherapy oils are burning, Louis is off prowling and once I’ve finished this blog post I’m going to work on my novel outline. Life is good at this particular point in time. I’d feel quite serene if my tummy knot would just calm down.

Any anxiety fighting tips gratefully received, I’m all about self improvement. Never forget that we’re all works in progress, it’s good to help each other through.

Hello Me!

2010-11-22T16:45:00.004+11:00

Last week was the last week at my old job and I’m currently enjoying the leisurely limbo of being between jobs (7 whole working days off, pure bliss). Many flowers were sacrificed to celebrate my new adventure and I love the sweet scent of lilies and roses that is permeating my house. It is quite a heady mix of smells and fits perfectly with a wonderful sunshine filled Monday afternoon. I’m cleaning the house in fits and starts (kitchen + washing have been done – next step is the vacuuming) as I tend to overheat if I do too much in one go.

My mission for my time off is to focus on looking after me. That means exercising my rather lazy muscles so that I’ve got a good base fitness before I get sucked back into the work grind. I’m reminding myself that I actually enjoy exercising. In fact I really seem to be re-discovering myself, as I’ve come to realise that I’ve changed a lot, and not necessarily in a good way, over the years.

It would be fair to say that in my teens and early twenties I was very open to adventure and trying new things. I loved yoga before it was considered mainstream, taught myself everything I could about aromatherapy, tried meditating (badly) and learned how to read tarot cards. All this fell to the wayside when I started to work. Suddenly, instead of following my own bliss and learning about all the things I wanted to know more about, I became a work drone putting off adventures until an undefined later date.

I started to conform. Not that I was particularly rebellious before, but I never tried to fit myself into a pre-conceived box. I did what suited me but once in the work place that was subsumed by the need to do what suited others. This replaced all of my healthy selfish urges, no doubt contributing to my eventual meltdown. Ironically, it is now that I’ve come to terms with my depression and am living on the other side of the planet that I’ve realised that “me” is still there, waiting for “later” to become “now”.

So what does this mean? Well in essence, I’m going to nurture my physical and creative needs. I’ve started well with my guitar lessons, which I love. It has really helped me to realise that I should have been doing this ages ago. What else am I adding to my life:

Yoga – I love it and it is good for me. Now that I’ve got the car no excuse not to make classes
Pilates – which I enjoy and gives me extra class options if yoga doesn’t fit with my diary
Swimming – car opens up lots of swimming opportunities across the summer that I can easily take advantage of
Writing – beyond the blog, I’m making a conscious decision to spend a minimum of 2 hours writing a week working on creative projects. This may not sound much but I’d rather put in a small amount and exceed it than abuse myself for under delivering
Theatre/concerts – need to drag friends along to more theatre and concerts. OK so some of the music that appeals to me is a tad quirky but surely I’m not the only person that likes weird arty stuff?
Exploring – now that I have my car, need to get out there and explore the Sydney area. Best way to get over my hatred of driving
Hanging out with friends – need to do this much more than I have been recently. Thinking more entertaining at my house is definitely called for, I do love to cook
Experimenting – opening my mind to new recipes, new aromatherapy mixes, learning more re tarot etc.. I have a naturally inquisitive mind and it needs more nourishment than media can provide. I may even try that African Drumming Class that has been tempting me for the last couple of years. Anything goes really

What are the things that you don’t do/haven’t done in ages because you are too busy? I think you should write them down and work out if they are worth missing out on. Those friends you haven’t seen in years, give them a call. If you’ve always wanted to try an art class, what is stopping you? Look online, I bet there are lots of options in your area. These things are a part of our education growing up, why do we see them as so frivolous once we are adults? They are all parts of what make us fully rounded and happy human beings.

If the fear of being bad at it is what is stopping you, all I can say is get over it. You don’t need to be good at something to enjoy it. If you do have some talent, that is gravy. I’m not exactly the world’s best at yoga but it does me the world of good and I don’t mind looking silly for an hour or so. Frankly I think we should all be encouraged to look silly for at least 1 hour each week. Particularly those of us that tend to be high-flyers in the workplace, being a beginner at something can be very grounding.

Well I have to admit, I’m excited about the world of opportunities out there. I’m not deluding myself, I know that I’ll be working hard at my new work-place, media isn’t exactly a 9-5 job. But it is about making the effort to fit the other things in too. After all, we set our own priorities; we shouldn’t be allowing our clients and bosses to be setting them for us. Plus, I suspect they would rather you were healthier and happier rather than stressed out and exhausted.

So have fun, I know I’m planning to.

State of Change

2010-11-15T23:24:00.002+11:00

I’ve just started my final week of notice period in my current job. With 7 whole working days off before I start my new job, I don’t know if I’m more excited about the new adventure or the time off. I can sense I’ll be working until the bitter end, as my workload hasn’t abated in the slightest, in fact I didn’t write this post on Sunday as I was working on a document I’m presenting tomorrow. With only 4 working days left, I’m finding it very hard to work out exactly how I feel.

The truth is that I have a number of very good reasons for leaving, but equally there are plenty of aspects of my current job that I will miss: mainly the people, colleagues and clients alike. There is also the fear of being judged once you are no longer there to defend yourself. You know the drill, if you find something you don’t understand or that is clearly wrong it is very easy to blame the person that has left. But why do I care? What does it matter if something doesn’t add up on a spreadsheet or if someone misinterprets the context of a document? Why does the thought that I’m not leaving everything in perfect order make me want to break out in hives?

Much as I would like to claim that my motives are altruistic, the reality is that that is only a small component of what is driving me. Yes, I do plan to stay in touch with many of my current colleagues and would hate to leave them in the shit work-wise, especially given how busy they all are. I also have a strong relationship with my clients and want to make sure that everything is in a great place for them. However, the reality is that the main reason I want to make sure that everything is buttoned down is pride. I take pride in the work that I do and I have a reputation for the high quality of said work, I don’t want that to be undone by something as silly as a typo in an spreadsheet formula that is sitting there like a ticking bomb, waiting for me to exit the building before exploding, and alerting everyone to a colossal miscalculation.

Do I believe that this ticking bomb exists? Hopefully not, but I am still wrestling with the urge to quadruple check everything I’ve done in the last 12 months. This way madness lies so I’m working on recognising this compulsion but not acting on it. If anything this sudden fixation with documents and calculations and re-visiting old work is my way of distracting myself from the fact that I’m leaving and I’m naturally going to have an emotional response.

There are people that I have seen virtually every day for the last 3 and a half years and now I’ll hardly see them at all. Those that I’m closest to I’ll keep in touch with, but there are a lot of people that you chat to everyday: in the lift; while getting water; when buying your coffee or lunch, and at work functions. Those are the people that you will lose touch with. It will be good bye to the office jokers, the pretty boys, the slinky girls and the small-talking senior management: all those personalities that make up the overall vibrant dynamics of an office. It is more like leaving a village than leave a job, as you move to a new environment with new politics and social hierarchies.

When I arrive at my new village, it will take me time to orient myself but I’m confident that I’ll find my way. Plus this time, I’ll be armed with something I didn’t have when I first moved to Australia: a big circle of Aussie based friends. There are those that I’ve met outside of work over the last few years, that are already part of my social circle but there will also be those that have taken the step from colleague to friend. I think it is often after you leave a place that this magical transformation takes place and you realise who your friends are. Without the common link of the workplace, it is only those that you have truly bonded with that will remain a part of your life. I find that exciting. While I think I know who those people will be, life can surprise you and often in a good way.

Everybody pretend to be normal

2010-11-07T22:32:00.002+11:00

As you’ll have noticed, I love films and this is another filmic reference. The quote used as the title for this post is from the rather wonderful “Little Miss Sunshine”. For me those words resonated because I think you would need to look very hard to find someone that isn’t “pretending” in at least one area of their lives. To a certain extent we are all actors, trying to play the role we think we’re supposed fulfil with our lives. Sometimes we don’t even pick that role but take on the image we think others have of us, and we run with that.

Shakespeare nailed it in “As you Like it” with Jacques speech “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players...” That struck a chord with me as a teenager when I studied As You Like It. It wasn’t my favourite Shakespeare play (that would be King Lear, even back then madness fascinated me) but it goes to show that things haven’t really changed much since Shakespeare’s day. We all still play our part, the better to make it through the day.

Particularly skilled “social” creatures can play several different parts depending on what the situation requires. This might be instinctive (self preservation being a strong motivator) or for more cynical & manipulative motives (I’ve never trusted charming people, I always wonder what they are really thinking). Saying what we really think or feel, as we think or feel it, is definitely frowned upon by so called “civilised” society.

I like to think of myself as a very honest and open person. However, even I have to pretend in my day-to-day life in order to survive. Sometimes it is because being truly honest would make people uncomfortable (I lapse a lot in this area given my tendency to over-share) but mainly it is because someone in my position is supposed to act a certain way. I have found that the more senior I become within my chosen industry, the less freedom I have. I think that it is a common misconception that junior employees have to tow the line, but the reality is they get away with a lot more on the basis of their youth and newness (their work masks are still in development). It is when you are considered an example to others that you really need to have your work mask firmly fixed and in place.

It isn’t just about the work place but any situation where you are interacting with other people. You may be one person to your family, another to your friends, completely different with your colleagues and once you have your own children you need to decide what kind of parent you want to be. As a result, you can bounce around from being “the sensitive child” to “the extrovert joker” to “the eccentric workaholic” and you may decide that your kids are in need of a “grounded earth mother”.

We all have different faces that we show the world. Even “a spade is a spade” personality is a role. Do any of us really know what our natural, default setting is? Is there such a thing? No wonder we can find it hard to really understand ourselves. We’re pretty complicated creatures and while I am a fan of analysis (it is doing me the world of good), sometimes I think we can over analyse ourselves to the point that we no longer see the wood for the trees.

My view is that you can only try to be true to yourself, which means being true to all those wonderfully different shaped bits of yourself. Unless you’re a sociopath you’ll have an in-built alarm system that will let you know when you are straying from the path. The problem is that we can get so caught up in our own self-image that we might ignore or simply bury both our moral compass and bullshit alarm under layers off irrelevant crap.

We can get lost judging ourselves for the things that we don’t think we did well enough and lose sight of all the great things that we do. I had a friend who, while very upset confessed that she didn’t understand why people liked her. This shocked me, as the role she plays with me is that of a confident, fun and loyal friend. I could easily list 10 reasons why I like her and that is without even trying very hard. Ironically seeing this vulnerable side to her has only made her an even better friend as I admitted that I frequently worry that people will “find me out” and realise that they don’t actually want to be friends with me after all.

So does that sound crazy to you or all too familiar? I’m starting to suspect that I’m not that unusual, much as I like to cling to my uniqueness.

In terms of the week just gone by I flitted through (adopted sounds too calculated) the following roles: understanding friend; concerned colleague; party animal; suffering party animal (aka hungover); eccentric cynic; friendly customer; diplomat; efficient worker; stressed employee; enthusiastic student; polite commuter; victim of workplace politics (oh go on, who doesn’t play this card occasionally?); passionate writer and I’m currently a Sunday evening blogger.

It’s been a pretty standard week with more highs than lows, which is to be celebrated. Now if only I could get my inner athlete to come out to play, life would be fabulous.

The Monster Inside

2010-11-01T00:24:00.002+11:00

Here I am, sat at my desk in my little house in Sydney, Australia. It is dark outside on this Halloween night. Louis is curled up on his favourite spot on the table, where he can look out of the window and growl at any beasties that sneak through the garden. He is a rather dog-like cat in many respects.

My aromatherapy burner is doing its magic in the background. Following the sage advice of my aromatherapist friend Stephanie I’m sticking to scents that should help me sleep, deal with my nervous tension and ease my high blood pressure. She blogs here for anyone who wants to check out her aromatherapy advice, this post was inspired by me, oh yes! I have my very own aromamuse:
http://www.suite101.com/content/top-3-essential-oils-to-reduce-high-blood-pressure-a302766

Rufus Wainwright’s fabulously emotive voice is soothing the sharper edges of my mood. I’m not a big fan of overhead lights, so I have several lamps on creating multiple warm pools of lights surrounded by inviting shadows. My house is clean & tidy, the washing has been done and all I want to do before floating up to bed is write my blog post and decide what new book I’m going to start reading tomorrow.

It being Halloween (or so I’m reliably informed, but the Celebrations that I bought for trick or treaters will need to find an alternative home as a rather impressive storm seems to have scared them off) I felt that demons and monsters would make a great theme for today’s post.

The imagination of humans is extraordinary. Over time we’ve created some amazing mythology around monsters and demons. This dates back to the first days of human communication and is not, as some might believe, a product of Hollywood. In past stories were spread from person to person, from tribe to tribe and eventually, once we discovered the world beyond our own respective shores, by sailors and other travellers. As these stories moved around they evolved (as any game of Chinese whispers will demonstrate) so that the mythology of different countries and religions can often seem similar but different as they are adapted to fit with the local culture or even the motivations of the storyteller. The only consistent component of these stories is man himself. After all, a story requires a narrator: it can’t exist independently of us.

This sends my thought back to my blog about the magic and power of words. Positive words breed positive thoughts and emotions. So why do we create monsters? Strange creatures that hide in dark corners, wait for us under our beds, suck our blood, eat our brains or steal our souls. Why do we need these creatures? Personally I have plenty of monsters lurking inside my head which make the imaginary external ones seem positively fluffy by comparison. Is that why we need to invent these personifications of evil? Does it help us cope with the bad things that can happen to us? If we scare ourselves silly with these stories, does it make our day to day gremlins less intimidating by comparison?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. I just like to ponder them gently. See what they stir up in my mind. I can only assume that they originated as a means to explain the bad things, like disease, that could happen to us, back in a time when medical science did not exist or was in its infancy. But despite all the things that we’ve learned since about ourselves these creatures continue to thrive and grow. I find that very interesting. Science can’t replace our love of stories. Fact and fiction will always sit side by side.

In the interests of complete honesty I must stop procrastinating and confess that this has been a tough week for me. I’ve felt like a squatter in my own body for a very long time and my squat has decided that enough is enough. I’ve been de-prioritising my physical well-being for far too long and am now paying for it.

The problem is that my inner monsters are masters of misdirection. I have one monster in particular, the one that likes to swear at me and tell me I’m useless, that has been encouraging me to throw all my energy and emotions into my work. Tapping into my fear that, because I’m working through depression, I’m not good enough at my job, this monster has driven me to work harder and harder: to stress more and more about the quality of my work; driving me to not just meet, but exceed, my clients’ expectations.

This has created an unsustainable cycle of nervous exhaustion that means that I inevitably keel over because I’m physically not strong enough to work myself that hard. Plus, they don’t half love to pile on the work at my current company and there is no one to defend me from this, as the monster discourages me from simply saying “no it can’t be done.” To make the cycle all the more pernicious, my sense of inadequacy is fuelled by my frequent collapses, as my monster lurks by my bed whispering about my failings and how no-one wants some sickly piss-taker working for them.

That sets the context for this week. On Thursday I suffered from dizziness and palpitations. I’d been working like a fiend to finish a project for that Thursday and the deadline had just been moved back on the Wednesday. I think this was the aftershock. My energy had dropped to scarily low levels and I couldn’t get out of bed. I aimed to work in the afternoon instead but no can do, the more I worried about not working, the more stressed I became and the worse I felt. By the Friday I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I gave in to the collapse and slept like the dead until 7pm. I woke because the cat was meowing at me, clearly worried and probably hungry. I got out of bed for a few hours before going back for another full night’s sleep. By Saturday morning I was feeling much more human but my monster has been very vocal all weekend.

I have 3 weeks left in this job and I am determined to tie everything up, make sure I sort out everything that I can and pass the baton on knowing that I’m leaving things in good order. My monster feels that I should go beyond this and really kick work arse over the next 3 weeks: “show them you aren’t a useless slacker” it tells me and “you can make up for being sick by working late and at the weekends, if you do that it will be OK” and “come on, you have 3 weeks left to show them how good you are”.

To this monster I say “stop it!” I already work weekends and bring work home with me on a regular basis, why do I still think I have something to prove? I’ve had the flexibility of working from home recently (due to the big document I was writing but also as I’m working my notice period and I’ve noticed I’m left pretty well alone so long as I deliver on everything), which has been great as I get the opportunity to really concentrate on my work. Working in an open plan office with a very lively team of rather wonderful people isn’t conducive to concentration. I love it the rest of the time but when you actually need to get stuff done, you can’t be there to answer everyone’s questions. The monster likes to tell me that this is bad, that I should be in the office where people can watch me working and appreciate my dedication.

I am determined to leave this monster behind when I go to my new job. New beginnings and a healthier me, that is all I can hope for. But hope isn’t enough. I need to actively exorcise this demon. So, does anyone have any advice about how I can ensure that I remember that my needs are more important than those of the company that pays my salary? I’m not saying I want to slack off but any tips on how to keep fit and healthy while working in a very busy industry would be gratefully received.

Having re-read this post I've realised that the spirit of this post is still very much in the monster's hands. I'm asking for help to be a more productive worker and I'm not being motivated by concerns about my health. Wow, that is something that I really need to work on!

It's a wonderful life

2010-10-25T00:29:00.003+11:00

The title of today’s post is a reference to the Frank Capra masterpiece and is not a hallelujah statement I’m using in an attempt to convince you depression was just a phase and I’m awash with happiness (cue me, a mountain, a very long panning shot and a sound of music twirl). I am very much thinking of that rather wonderful film that has become a Christmas staple on TV sets all around the world as I had a mini George Bailey moment this week and it felt disconcerting but great.

I didn’t get a visit from an angel working to earn his wings, the circumstances were distinctly more ordinary as I was at a media function, consuming a few wines and chatting to people: all part of my training plan to exercise my social muscles. I bumped into a lady that I’ve probably met a sum total of 2-3 times across my career and we always enjoy really good, meaningful conversation (as opposed to standard media function mindless chit chat and gossip). I hadn’t seen her in over a year given my reclusive tendencies but it was great to say hi again. Much to my surprise she thanked me profusely for some advice I’d given her that she had really taken to heart. I won’t go into the details but I was really astonished to realise that I’d had such a profound impact on her. It turns out that my advice was spot on and really helped her through some difficult times.

She left me feeling rather gobsmacked and bit a humbled. Think of all the times that you’ve shared your thoughts and opinions and imagine if everyone started doing what you advised them to? You’d probably talk a lot less given the extra pressure (well if you had any sense).

So someone really listened to what I was saying, they decided it made sense and they took it on board with great results. If I hadn’t gone to this media function and bumped into her again, I may never have known the impact that I had on her life.

The timing was particularly poignant, learning that someone was feeling such gratitude towards me around the same time that I was feeling smothered by futility and apathy. As anyone who has experienced depression can testify, there are times when you would happily wish yourself out of existence because you start to believe that you have no value. This is not to be confused with suicidal tendencies (although if you know anyone going through this, alarm bells should definitely be ringing if they feel their life is pointless) but can be a precursor. It can feel as if this weight is too heavy to carry, particularly as apathy is a master energy devourer.

Now that my eyes are open again and I’m not looking through a fog of self-loathing, it is amazing what evidence I’ve found that I do make a difference and if I weren’t around the world would be worse off. Think of all those times that you’ve shared a joke while buying a coffee, chatted to a taxi driver about world politics, listened to a friend or colleague that has needed to vent, thanked the bus driver, chatted to the checkout girl etc. Our contribution to the world isn’t just measured by our own life changing moments, but also by the millions of little moments that many of us simply sleepwalk through. I love those little moments when you brush across other people’s lives.

What I’m trying to convey is that I now believe that you can’t measure or judge the meaning of your life based on the big events. Life isn’t about awards, certificates, promotions or ceremonies. It is what happens in between and the energy that you carry around with you. Be aware of what you are putting out there as you never know who is going to pick it up and run with it.

So in the interest of generating some positive energy and given the filmic theme this week, I’ve been thinking about the 3 films that were written for me. By “written for me”, I’m referring to films I’ve enjoyed so much the creators must have designed them just for me. It was a challenge to settle on 3, but here they are (in no particular order):

- Stardust
- Pan’s Labyrinth
- Grosse Point Blank

What are the 3 films that were made of you?

I will close my weekly post by letting you know that I am doing really well. I hope that you all are too.

What do you call yourself?

2010-10-17T16:46:00.005+11:00

WARNING, the following post contains rather colourful language. In other words I swear A LOT!!!

A big thank you to everyone that got in touch with me after last week’s blog post. I was quite overwhelmed by how positive, open and honest the responses have been. It would seem that honesty provokes honesty and it is comforting to share my journey with so many strong and sympathetic people.

One particular message really made me think about the kind of language I use when talking about depression, particularly in terms of trying to “beat it”. I will share the piece of advice I was given because it prompted me to think about the language that I use when thinking of myself.

In essence the advice was: the more you fight something, the stronger it becomes. Rather than trying to fight depression, you should learn to accept it. It is once you learn to accept yourself and what you are going through, that you will find yourself able to move through it.

Wow, this really got the “little grey cells” in an uproar because it is true, the language I use when thinking about the journey ahead naturally tends to aggressive, action filled terms: “fighting”, “battling”, “tackling”, “beating”, “overcoming”, “taking on”, etc.

Now that I’m conscious of this, I’m stretching my brain to come up with other ways to describe my current state of flux. As a result you’ll see me using “journey” a lot, as that is my fall back word until I find more descriptors that I feel comfortable with. I suppose I should be expressing myself using words like “evolution”, “progression”, “development” and if I’m feeling really optimistic “adventure”.

Hopefully if I can radically change my mindset I won’t feel constantly exhausted anymore. Being “at war” with oneself takes up far too much energy that could be used much more productively. However, to be successful in this mission I quickly realised that it wasn’t just how I addressed depression that was the issue. My inner dialogue is riddled with negativity.

After suffering from a migraine on Tuesday I missed a day of work. Here are some snippets of the thoughts jumping through my mind before I reined them in: “shit you’re pathetic”, “not again you fucking useless bitch”, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” That is just a small handful of the thoughts I send my way once the migraine started to wear off and I realised that I’d missed a day of work to illness, at a time when I’m really busy at work (yes, yes I know I’m leaving but I wasn’t kidding in my last post when I said I have a pathological issue with letting people down).

Have you ever taken time to notice how you are speaking to yourself? Are you like me, do you berate yourself harshly every time you are less than perfect? Having noticed that I do it now, I realise just how often I do it (every time I’m running late earns me an internal “fuck you’re useless” and sadly that is most days). No wonder I’m depressed. While Sartre may have said that “hell is other people”, I would have to disagree with him as I’m perfectly capable of creating my own hell, with no need for other people to contribute.

So I hope you will join me in being mindful of the energy & words that you are directing at yourself. Remember to be generous and kind to yourselves. We aren’t supposed to be perfect. Let’s face it, if we ever came face to face with perfection it would probably scare the shit out of us. Words have a lot of power, they are almost magical. I want to harness that power to change my own inner critic into an ambassador for me. If I can enter into a healthy diplomatic relationship with myself, there is every chance that instead of battling depression I’ll be in the throes of an exciting new adventure. That’s the plan anyway.

Last week I set my self specific goals, so I want to take a quick look at how I’m doing against them:

(1) Kindness to self: I’m going to give myself a gold star here. For next week though I need to look after my physical & not just my mental well-being

(2) Personal development: another positive week here. I’ve even bought myself a guitar and am embracing my passion for music in a more active way

(3) Interaction with others: again a good week. Had friends round for lunch yesterday, went out to cinema with a friend & I went to see Rufus Wainwright in concert on Thursday (he was incredible by the way). So not just hiding out at home with Louis.

(4) Work: I’m still letting myself stress about it far too much but I’m not letting it take over my life so some positive movement here.

So in the spirit of personal kindness, I really need to pat myself on the back, I did alright this week. While I can still hear a cynical voice in my head saying “yeah, well it’s only week 1 you dopey bitch and you still haven’t managed to actually exercise”, at least I now know to tell that smug, opinionated little voice to shut the fuck up!

The Good, The Bad and The Fat

2010-10-09T18:00:00.002+11:00

My blog has been a victim of my inability to balance work & life. It hasn’t been the only victim. Other areas of my life that have been hit are responses to the emails I’ve had from friends back home, around 90% of my non-work related social life, keeping up with my twitter network, my creative writing and my health. Admittedly, that last one is a major worry so something needs to give.

The good news is that I’ve taken positive action and will be starting a new job on 1st December. The bad news is that two consistent ingredients remain the same in my on-going diet of work, work and more work. Those are working in media and me. I love working in media and I can’t escape me, so those are two ingredients that I need to work with.

So moving forward I will be very much focusing on developing me. Many (but not all) of you will know that among the challenges that I face at the moment, I’m fighting an on-going battle with depression. This is no doubt having a major impact on my work/life balance as so much of my energy over the past couple of years has been focused on functioning within the workplace. I’m definitely in a much stronger and more self aware space now, thanks to some fabulous friends and a very wise analyst. So I’m ready to take the bull by the horns to realise that being great at my job (which I am unashamedly proud of given the emotional wars I’ve being fighting) is not enough for me. It isn’t my life goal. If I want to have a full and meaningful life that should be about 33.333333333333% of my life balance not 90%+ as it currently stands.

To make it even more frustrating I am armed with all the tools that I need but I don’t seem to use them. In the battle between wise and emotion mind (to steal terms that my analyst uses to work out what drives me to do the things I do), my emotion mind keeps winning and frankly my emotion mind is more than a little dysfunctional. So while I keep getting more and more stressed and fat (food is my drug of choice, when it comes to self medicating), there is a part of me that sees everything I’m doing wrong but it is bound and gagged, unable to stop me.

I’m officially setting that part of me free now and will be using this space to keep tabs on it. I’ll be scoring my efforts on the following aspects:

(1) Kindness to self
a. Am I eating right and getting exercise?
b. Am I doing things to help me manage my stress/depression e.g meditation, yoga, walking somewhere beautiful & simply enjoying the view?

(2) Personal development
a. Am I taking time out to do the things I’m passionate about?
b. Am I taking advantage of the opportunities around me?

(3) Interaction with others
a. Am I spending time with people that I love rather than hiding at home with the cat?
b. Am I taking advantage of opportunities me new and interesting people?

(4) Work
a. Am I working hard but not taking it home?
b. If the hours are crazy (reality is that is unavoidable at times) am I still taking time out to look after myself?

My analyst says that keeping a diary of triggers and what you do can really help in terms of development. The problem is that if I do write one, I’ll simply slack off after about 2 weeks because I’m the only one that reads it. However I have a pathological problem with letting other people down which I might as well take advantage of. So here is my pledge. I will update this blog weekly with brutally honest updates on how I’m doing at achieving my goals. All I ask is that you all think about how you could make yourselves happier and healthier people and let me know how you are going in that quest.

This is the inaugural post of what I hope will become a source of strength for those who want to lead better and more balanced lives. Remember, being selfless is unhealthy but society seems to encourage it. Just say no!! Take time to think about what you need for you. Otherwise all you will be doing is worrying about whether you are doing enough for everyone else and that is a road that leads straight to depression.

My first progress update will be posted 16th October. That is my commitment to me! That and the determination to have as much fun as possible along the way!

Please give generously

2010-02-23T11:21:00.002+11:00

Hi All,

I'm not sure if you are aware of One Water but they are a fabulous charity that do a lot of great humanitarian work.

Our company is supporting them this Friday and we are doing a mass company Walkathon to raise as much money as possible. We are hoping to be able to pay for at least two water pumps to be installed. It feels great to be using work time to support such a good cause. As I've been away I'm late on calling out for donations but I'm hoping that you will support me as I walk through the Sydney heat this Friday PM.

While I'll be able to pop into a pub or pick up a bottle of water if I get thirsty, there are many people in this world that have to walk much further without any access to clean water at all.

I'm sure you will all agree that this is a fabulous charity to support! You can donate by going through the link below & following the instructions given:

http://www.onedifference.org/home-aus

Instructions:
Click on GroupM Walkathon button on the right hand side of the page

Enter my name (Stephanie Ressort) in "which participant do you want to support?" - please just enter my first name then wait and pick from the drop down menu

Enter amount of how much want to sponsor and fill in your details

Click on donate by PayPal - this will take you to PayPal websiteLog in to PayPal, if you do not have a PayPal account, please click on continue by "Don't have a PayPal account?" on the left hand side

Enter in your credit card or bank details and donate!

Thanks so much for all your support my lovely friends, family and readers!

London Calling

2009-12-24T21:51:00.002+11:00

Well the rain is falling & the sky is grey, that's right I'm back in London for the holidays. I'm just relieved to see that the worst of the snow has gone away.

This will be a relatively brief (and no doubt typo heavy) post, as I need to prepare to go to my Aunt's house for Christmas Eve very shortly. Fortunately my mum is in the shower so that gives me the excuse I need to procrastinate online. I'll be doing a post soon about how it feels to be a visitor in your home town but I think I might need to be back in Australia to really be able to look back on the experience. It does feel odd at times though.

So the focus of today's post is a couple of reviews.

I went to see Avatar at the Empire Leicester Square yesterday. I definitely recommend that if you go and see it, you see it in 3D. It is a visually stunning film & I can really understand why a lot of marketers in the film industry are touting it as completely breakthrough. It is taking Hollywood movies to the logical next step, with the imagery becoming even more realistic and a movie becoming an increasingly visual feast. But, and this is quite a significant but, what stops this being a truly great movie was the fact that the same dedication & originality was not applied to the script. The sub plots were insubstantial & did not make the most of a fabulous support cast.

The main story has been told so many times, in more original ways. It was almost as if the film makers felt that the audience could not have their cake & eat it too. You either get beautiful, ground breaking visual effects or a great story. They won't give you both. As a writer I do find that this lazy story-telling is discouraging. It is disappointing that we can't have the best of both worlds. Don't get me wrong, overall I did enjoy the film. Please go & see it and I would love to hear what you think of it. However I did walk away feeling a little hollow, as it is very much an example of style over substance.

On the other end of the spectrum I went to see the National Theatre production of War Horse at the New London theatre on Tuesday night. Clearly it is to theatre that we have to turn to see a wonderful combination of effects & amazing story telling. Those who know me won't be surprised to hear that I cried, at least twice. I'm a big soppy moo. But it was a truly fabulous adaptation of a classic book. The acting was spot on, the staging amazing and the script sang! I wish that I had this wonderful sensation of having seen something that will stay with me forever more often when leaving the cinema. If you haven't see War Horse & live anywhere near London, I thoroughly recommend it. Please try to see it while it is still on, it is definitely worth the ticket price.

Well those are my two reviews, I'd better go de-stink myself in the shower before heading off to celebrate Wigilia with my family. I'll tell you all about the wonderful tradition that is Wigilia when I next have a chance to post. Have a wonderful Christmas!!

The Lovely Bones

2009-12-10T22:54:00.002+11:00

Ok I admit it, I've been hopeless at updating my blog recently. Work has been crazy using up my daily allocation of brain cells. As a result I had very little left over to use in my personal life. There have been many spare moments where I could be found drooling and staring at the wall. It's nice to escape that particular circle of hell!

But that is enough with the excuses and on to the blogging. Tonight I went to see The Lovely Bones, I was lucky enough to get tickets to the Australian premiere. I do enjoy sashaying up a red carpet, so I was ready for a great night out. The lovely Natalie Meadows joined me, which made for a good mix of impressions as she hasn't read the book while I have.

I remember that I loved the book by Alice Sebold but my memories of the specifics are hazy as I read it many years ago. All I could remember was a general sense of what happened & most importantly how the book made me feel (sad, frustrated, inspired). So I won't be able to say if it was true to the details of the book, but it was definitely true to the emotions.

The casting is inspired. Particularly Saoirse Ronan as Susie Salmon, Stanley Tucci as George Harvey and Susan Sarandon as Grandma Lynn. Their performances were phenomenal & while I single them out I really don't feel that any of the cast put a toe, let alone a foot, wrong.

Peter Jackson's vision for the film was striking. He really threw the full breadth of his mammoth imagination into creating the "in between world" that Susie finds herself in. Saying that, it is probably that one element that polarised Natalie and I. I really enjoyed the visual trip that was created but Natalie felt that it was a bit too much. I can see her point, there were moments when those in-between-world scenes did feel a tad self indulgent on the part of Jackson, however the visuals are so lush and stunning that it is a self indulgence we can all enjoy if we let ourselves go with it.

As I write this post The Lovely Bones has a very healthy 8.2 score on IMDB. I think this is a very well deserved high score as I really was inspired by so many aspects of this film. Not for those that want a "cookie cutter" (to quote Jackson) movie, but perfect if you want to really enjoy a wide spectrum of emotions.

I cried several times across the course of the film, but whenever I felt that it was just too sad, something would happen to change the mood. The arrival of Grandma Lynn is a perfect example of this. I was laughing with the tears still fresh on my cheeks.

A beautiful, cathartic film. I give it a 9/10. Go see it when it appears at cinemas near you (well if you want to, I'm not threatening you or anything)

Spring has sprung

2009-10-11T17:17:00.009+11:00

Rather than tell you about the sights of Spring burgeoning around me, I thought I'd post a few pictures that would do the job much better. They are all taken in my local neighbour & I snapped them all today on a beautiful Sunday afternoon walk down to Cremorne Point Reserve.

What the pictures don't tell you is what I could hear. The sounds were wonderful. The birds seemed to be partying with lots of different bird calls fluttering through the air. The sea spoke rhythmically in the background, a soothing, repetitive inhale & exhale against the rocks below. There was the chatter of children, the occasional excited bark of a puppy out for a leg stretch and the polite hellos of the people walking passed me.

Finally on my way back home there was also the sound of my laboured breathing. It was all up-hill, reminding me that I need to get back in the gym so that I can get my fitness levels up in time for Summer.

That is the end of the Sydney, Lower North Shore Spring has sprung report. Over & out.

The Little Shop of......

2009-09-27T17:52:00.003+10:00

Around the corner from my house there is a little shop that fascinates me. When I first moved in here two years ago it was an Antiquarian bookshop that had just closed down. I remember feeling gutted that it was no longer open, as it looked just like a magical bookshop from a kid’s book. You know the type. Old fashioned window panes, small but stuffed full of piles of books: the sort of place that Balthazar would run to hide from bullies in “The Never Ending Story”, or where Mo would find a copy of Inkheart. As a rabid book lover, this store held the promise of so much magic that it was devastating to discover it too late.

It sat empty for a while, the outline of the words “Antiquarian bookshop” still visible despite all of the signage having been taken down. I was curious to see what would happen with this cosy space, it just seemed so sad and lonely empty. After a couple of months of lifelessness things began to change. I walked passed once on the way home, the front door was open and it was being cleaned. Life was returning and I felt quite excited about it.

This excitement was replaced by confusion. It is hard for me to describe the new identity of the shop. It was one part gallery, one part geek-fest, one part second hand “stuff” shop. I suspect that it was trying to position itself as a source of great collectibles. There were Star Trek figurines, model boats, second hand books, a giant tortoise shell and the list goes on. It was the shop equivalent of a car boot sale and it struggled to find its feet. Instead of having shelves full of different things to search through, they had a limited number of items displayed in cabinets (hence the part gallery feel). It wasn’t cosy at all and I don’t think the building approved. It didn’t embrace this new look at all, but seemed to throw shadows to deliberately clash with the decor and contents. I never saw anyone actually browsing in there, only the large shop keeper and a woman I think may have been his mother. One of them would always be sat in there waiting. It made me think of a spider sitting patiently in its web.

It took well over a year but I wasn’t surprised when the “Closing down sale” signs appeared recently. I did feel sad for those that had tried to make a go of it there, but having never spoken to them I didn’t have a personal connection with them. I was a little pleased for the shop though, hoping that the new incarnation will fit the personality of the space better.

The new signage has just gone up on the window and it is now going to be a florist’s shop. The lettering fits perfectly with the window panes. This bodes well. Maybe, this shop has found out what it wants to be, only time will tell but I will be treating myself to a bouquet on opening day.

My War on Time

2009-09-05T18:08:00.002+10:00

The concept of time has been keeping me awake recently. I can almost hear the seconds marching across my bed during my futile attempts to slip through the magical doorway to the land of sleep.

How can something that we can’t see, touch, taste, hear or smell have so much power? It has tendrils in everything that we do dictating when we work, sleep, eat, worship, start a family, drink, have a break, play, holiday, relax and the list goes on.

As a species we are obsessed with Time: this invisible commodity that apparently even the richest cannot buy. We are all allegedly time poor, so a deluge of products has been developed to help us save up our quota of Time. We are willing not only to pay more for these Time saving offerings but to damage our health. Instead of crafting a healthy meal we pump ourselves full of salt and sugar courtesy of fast food, ready meals and snacks created for “the professional person on the go”.

Cars, trains, planes, boats have all evolved to help us in our rush to get from A to B, with the average distance between A to B growing with every decade.

We strive to master Time, this human construct of schedules and deadlines, but this is a fight we cannot win. Time will always have the upper hand because the more time saving devices we create, the less time we have as a result. Email enables us to get our responses to requests out faster, but it has also led to the number of requests we receive growing exponentially.

This obsession with Time could ultimately lead to the extinction of the human race. Kind of ironic really: we’ve chased time so aggressively that we’ve created a planet that will soon wipe us out and start again. Maybe the creation of the first clock was the day that the first nail was hammered in to the coffin of humanity. It is just like us to create the schedule for our own destruction.

As an individual though, there is very little that I can do to save us from the end that is coming at some as yet unspecified moment in time (fear not though, I’m sure lots of experts are working to pin point the exact end date). What I can do is look to my own relationship with time and how it has impacted on my own life. That at least I can change and the reality is that I have been bullied by time all my life and it’s time that I stood up for myself.

I am drawing the line in the sand. From now on I’m going to listen to my body clock and not the persistent nagging of the watch of my wrist (heaven forbid we lose track of time!!). I’m also going to become more aware of nature’s rhythm. Seasons will no longer just be about the weather for me, but about when different fruits and vegetables are available locally.

Obviously I can’t completely ignore my watch and my many alarm clocks (I’m a night child in a society scheduled by morning people). I need my job to keep Louis in the manner to which he has become accustomed (he has expensive taste in cat food). My job demands that I be a slave to time. But that is just one aspect of my life. Surely outside of work there is a window of opportunity for me to listen to the rhythms of the world around me and to be really present in my life.

Instead of constantly planning and scheduling I’m going to find a mental space where I can simply be: where I can observe how I feel (when did you last check in with yourself?) and be in tune with the sights, sounds, smells, textures and tastes that surround me. It will be in those moments of really being that I will finally be able to turn around and show Time the finger.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

2009-08-23T22:43:00.002+10:00

You’d think I’d have an answer to the question above, as by anyone’s book I’m supposed to be a “grown-up” by now, but the magic on-switch for maturity has yet to kick in with me. I still don’t feel “grown-up”. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to feel like.

I’m not saying that I’m a child-like 34 year old, I’m not quite that pathetic. I’m independent, have a good job, a beautiful cat, a lovely home that I rent in a country far away from the one I started in. I don’t rely on others to look after me the way that a child would. But I still don’t feel grown-up. Maybe it is my incapacity to have a proper relationship, as there is a lot of social pressure to settle down with a partner and start a family. However, it could well be that that isn’t what the future holds for me, it might be, but it might not. People who try to be reassuring by saying “you’ll find the right person eventually” are treading on very thin ice. What proof is there that I will? Why is it such a priority for everyone? Why is the success of my life linked to my marital or relationship status?

I didn’t start this post to go all Bridget Jones (can’t drink Chardonnay for one thing) but have I been so brainwashed by society that I’m going to feel incomplete and un-grown-up until I settle down? I joke about becoming the local mad cat woman (I only have 1 cat in Sydney & I don’t smell of pee, so it is still technically a joke) but why do we still look down on people who are alone? It isn’t just people with partners who feel pity for the terminally single. Other singletons are just as bad. Clearly we are all subject to the same brain-washing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it is better to be single than in a relationship. A relationship with the right person is amazing, or so I’m led to believe. But we all know people who are in relationships with the wrong person, because they think a bad relationship is better than being alone. I can’t imagine anything worse.

So maybe my status as proper grown-up human will only kick in once I find me a man, buy me a house and start me a family? I doubt it. I think I could do everything on the shopping list of life and still feel like a child, even in my 80s. Maybe it is because sometimes I look at people who act like proper grown-ups and I suspect that it is exactly that: an act. And there is nothing wrong with that. Let’s all stop putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves to conform to an idea that doesn’t exist. The terms grown-up implies an end: that is it; you have grown; there is no more growing to do. What utter bollocks!

Human beings are in a constant state of change. We are always growing, in one way or another. To try and shoe-horn ourselves into a box; to live life as if it is a set menu; that means we aren’t living our own lives at all. We aren’t exploring and designing them for ourselves. We should embrace the fact that we all take different paths. Those that find the right person and have a loving, frustrating, demanding, ultimately rewarding family, are lucky. So is the girl who lives life on her own terms, tasting the flavours that each day presents, unsure if she will ever meet the right person but content in the knowledge that she is experiencing the adventure that is life. She’ll have time to feel like a grown-up on her death bed, when she looks back and realises that she has reached the final moment and her growing has come to an end.

Orbiting Satellites

2009-08-08T18:40:00.002+10:00

As an expat living in the land of Far Far Away I seem to have become hyper aware of the relationships I have with the people around me. I no longer have the warm cosy comfort blanket of friends that have been in my life, for better or worse, across many turbulent years. Rather than having a diary full of social arrangements that I need to manage carefully to get the treasure of an entire day “to do nothing”, I could easily succumb to the seductive lure of entire weekends filled with social nothingness (sorry Louis, but cute as you are, you don’t count). The most dangerous thing is that this social invisibility can become addictive, particularly when you work in a people industry like mine. It has made me realise that being sociable is a muscle like any other, which we need to exercise regularly to avoid atrophy.

But what does being sociable really mean? I already have the beginnings of a rather wonderful small (or exclusive if you prefer) circle of friends that are there for me when I try to kick the drug of “me time”. Sadly the drug is frequently stronger than me, as there are endless temptations in my little house, to keep me happily occupied for days on end (books, DVDs, PVR, music and the wonderful comforts of bed). So I decided to keep an eye on myself over the last 7 days to see if I really am as unsociable as I think.

Firstly it is important, for those that don’t know me and my family, that I explain my genetic coding. My mum is the first to make friends with randoms in queues. She has an ability to chat with anyone at the most unexpected moments and put them at their ease. I am definitely my mother’s daughter. As a result, I now realise that if I truly want social seclusion I can’t leave the house! Even the front garden is a danger zone of potential social exchanges. All it takes is for one small child to spot the ginger fluffiness of Louis and next thing I know I’m having a deep conversation about pet ownership and parenthood with the accompanying adult.

So what have I discovered about myself over the last 7 days? While I have a small system of close friends, I have a huge universe of orbiting satellites that make a very real and positive impact on my life. How can a girl feel lonely or socially isolated when there are people and their stories everywhere that she turns? So this blog post is dedicated to these people that make up the village community of my Australian life.

There is my Vietnamese manicurist who is missing her children, particularly Lucy who turned 1 last month and is the cutest little girl you could wish for (I’ve seen the photos). Lucy and her 5 year old brother Ryan (serious looking boy that doesn’t like to be photographed) are currently in Vietnam staying with their grandmother, but they’ll be back in October as their mum is flying all the way to Vietnam for a long weekend to pick them up. I reassure her that the time will fly, but it is clear that she feels the gap they normally fill like a painful physical absence.

There are the lovely ladies that work in the cafe round the corner from my house that know that I just love their Thai Chicken salad of a Saturday lunchtime and who always ask me how Louis is doing and whether he has grown (the answer generally being yes).

There is the girl at the hairdressers that always smiles and asks me how I am. The family who run the Green Grocers who work 7 days a week 52 weeks of the year, but never complain as they love what they do. It really is a family operation with their eldest daughter (early teens) sharing my love of fresh figs.

I mustn’t forget the corner shop, the Japanese take-away and the butchers again all within a block of my house and they’re all ready with a smile and a “hi” when I walk past, or a full conversation if I’m in consumer mode.

That barely skims the surface of the satellites orbiting my life. We haven’t even touched on my work week. The coffee shop near work where the coffee cup lid reads “Steph” not “Soy flat white”, I think that means I have a signature coffee. I find that pretty cool. Or the Korean place I like to go for lunch, where they always give me a sweet as I’m leaving, and if I order the noodle soup with dumplings they know to sneak me in a serving of mushrooms too (all I can say to that is yummy!).

All in all I really can’t be accused of being anti-social. If anything I’m compulsively social, because even if I do lock the front door in an attempt to cut myself off from the world, there is no one there to confiscate my computer. With the wonders of the internet at my finger tips the first thing I do when I get home is switch on my laptop. After feeding Louis I wait impatiently for the computer to fully boot up so that I can check my emails, my facebook and my twitter. Next thing I know, an hour has passed, my tummy is rumbling and I’ve been chatting away with lovely tweets from all around the world.

If any of my friends or family back home are reading this and are worried that I might get lonely on this side of the planet, be reassured. Loneliness just isn’t part of my genetic make-up!

Wow is it August 2009 already?

2009-08-02T13:52:00.000+10:00

Taking a break from posting fiction, I thought I’d share with you the latest from the world of Steph & Louis.

Is it just me or did 2009 start just yesterday? Where have the last 7 months gone? They’ve simply flown by. Louis is now 11 months old, and growing at a crazy rate. I am starting to suspect that I got myself a dwarf lion and not a normal cat at all.

He is a lovely, good natured boy though. I managed to intercept him yesterday when he was going to bring a lizard to play with into the house. Giving him my sternest look I said “Don’t even think about it!”

Well he did think about it, you could almost see the synapses sparking behind his eyes as he assessed his options. Deciding that Mama Steph was not to be messed with, he slowly lowered his head, eyes fixed on me and opened his mouth. The liberated lizard darted away to hide in the weeds (I’m not the world’s best gardener) and Louis, seeing something move fast promptly forgot that he just set it free and started to pursue it again. It must be lovely to be a kitten, with the attention span of a goldfish.

My nephew Tom, aged 9 yrs old (I still like to think of him as 6 yrs old, it comforts me) came round to see me on Thursday night and he played with Louis for hours. He only got scratched twice, which isn’t bad given how over excited the two of them were. It was a lovely evening. I’d been signed off work by my doctor because of a stomach virus that I couldn’t shift. Saying that I think he mainly signed me off because he wasn’t that sure what I had and I was the colour of cement. Apparently grey is not a good look for me, as he kept saying that I looked awful, the flatterer.

Tom had baked me “moon cookies” which look a bit like small scones and taste lovely. He believes in using really large choc chips, he’s a good boy. Tom thought they might make me feel better and I think it worked as by Friday I was feeling vaguely human (although still slightly cement hued) and Saturday I even walked up the road without hyperventilating. Today I feel normal again, and the writing has recommenced. My main problem being that I have just too many story ideas at the moment, I’m finding it hard to commit to one.

So 2009 is over 7 months old now, what are the top ten things that I’ve learnt so far:

1) I’m a much happier human if I have a pet

2) Writing makes my soul sing, even though it is frustratingly hard work and can feel like you’re head butting a wall at times

3) You meet the loveliest people on twitter. Sure that my work colleagues will look down on the whole thing as they describe it as “you like talk to strangers, weird” but I don’t want to explain it to them, it is my space to chat. They can stick to facebook. Why do people have to be so negative about things they don't understand?

4) Friends are a wonderful invention and really enrich my life

5) I’m looking forward to my trip to the UK in December, even though it will be so cold, can’t wait to see everyone, I’m ready for a holiday “back home”

6) You can only live for about 1 month without a vacuum cleaner before going insane

7) You should listen to the doctor when he says rest, otherwise you’ll just keep getting sick every other week

8) Work is fine and can even be fun, if you don’t let it take over your life

9) I’m very good at what I do, day job wise that is, but I don’t necessarily want to do it forever

10) It really isn’t that important to be understood, just so long as people give you the space you need to simply BE. You really don’t need to apologise for that

Ok so maybe I am still feeling unwell to be drivelling on, but life is pretty good at the moment. I’m enjoying it before I hit the office tomorrow and have to do 5 days work in 1 day. I’m contemplating going out and walking to Mosman to buy the most beautifully tomatoes on the planet at the Fourth Village, Vista Street (if I big them up, they might find out about it and give a free lifetime supply!)

The sun is shining and hope continues to spring eternal in my world

Lost Property: The complete story (at last!!)

2009-07-16T23:10:00.000+10:00

For those that have already read parts 1-3, I've kept the "part" dividers in so you can easily scroll down to Part 4 (the final part - woo hoo - sorry by I've grown to really dislike the main character, she's what my work colleagues would call "a mole")

Otherwise, here is the full story, all in one place, so you don't need to go through the archives to track them down and get up to speed. After all, if I make it all too hard, you may decide you have better things to do with your time.

I hope you enjoy it! If not, I'm sorry but admit it, you've wasted more time watching some truly awful dross on TV

Part 1: The Hangover

Morning light leaked insipidly through gaps in the curtains, the tendrils of pale sharp-edged white hinted at the cold lurking outside. An arm emerged from the sanctuary of the duvet and felt around blindly for the source of a hostile ringing noise. Failing in its mission, more of the body emerged into the cold “barley white” morning revealing Michelle in the company of one hell of a hangover.

Splitting open crust-sealed eyes Michelle looked around only to be reminded that in the spirit of drunken malice the night before, she’d placed her alarm clock on the other side of the room. This left her with two equally unpleasant alternatives: she could either leave the warm bed cocoon or put up with the continued clang of her alarm. Given its continued insistence she get up, she opted for the former and moved with the grace of a semi-frozen gazelle across her room where she violently took her frustration out on the noisy inanimate object. Once she was sure it was dead, she stood shivering in her rather dilapidated night shirt, not awake enough to make a quick decision regarding her next move.

As the wheels of her brain squeaked reluctantly into her action, she reached for her dressing gown. An annoyingly officious nagging voice squatting in the back of her mind reminded her that alcohol fuelled bitchiness hadn’t been the only reason for the cruel positioning of the alarm clock. She looked wistfully at her bed but the voice would not be quieted, pointedly reminding her that she had a meeting first thing and she couldn’t afford to be late.

Dragging her hangover with her Michelle showered, brushed her teeth, and moisturised while she struggled to maintain a state of out-of-body numbness. She jabbed contact lenses that felt like they’d soaked in acid over-night, into her angry, red eyes. Blinking blearily around the bathroom the full scale of her hangover finally hit. She was in a world of pain and her body was screaming for water. Guzzling rusty tasting water directly from the tap did very little to alleviate her raging thirst. This was going to be a truly shitty day.

Once fully dressed, Michelle examined herself in the full length mirror. She wasn’t convinced the blue top went with the brown trousers, but she couldn’t find the energy to care, let alone change. She rubbed her eyes delicately and peered more closely at the mirror, it misted gently with her sour mint breath. She decided she must still be drunk because she looked positively blurry. It wasn’t just her red eyes, damp tangled hair or pale face that made her look the worse for wear. She felt and looked translucent. Surely she was imagining that she could see the books on the shelves directly behind her? The more she stared the more she realised that the words “Great Expectations” were aligned uncannily perfectly with her nose, or through her nose, or behind her nose..... Her mind balked as she tried to work out the relationship between Dickens’ book and her nose.

Closing her eyes and breathing slowly she decided to move on. No good was coming of her staring through herself in the mirror. Her mind was clearly playing tricks on her and she needed to pull herself together and brave the commute to work. Tardiness was not an option and London Transport waited for no man or woman or hangover.

Part 2: The Commute

Despite her green duffle coat, red woolly hat and 10 miles of blue scarf wrapped around her throat, fingers of morning cold still found vulnerable areas to tickle and nip. Shivering, Michelle blew her warm breath up towards her nose in a vain attempt to defrost it.

Standing at Earlsfield Station was never the highlight of her day. The combination of pain, cold, thirst and tiredness made the whole commuter battle seem impossible. The thought of cramming herself onto an overcrowded train made bile rise to the back of her throat. She’d already let three trains go without joining the herd fighting their way on-board. Unfortunately for every person carried away on the train, another two seemed to appear at the station to take their place. It was now or never, she psyched herself up, ready to muscle her way in.

The next train to pull in was uncharacteristically empty. Although all the seats were taken there was actual standing room, this was a miracle of biblical proportions. Michelle sent a quiet “Thank you” to the god of commuters as she wedged herself in the corridor between the seats. They formed a natural barrier that limited the number of people that could stand or lean on her. Despite this, she still found herself uncomfortably close to an armpit on her left and a newspaper on her right. Couldn’t they stop reading for the 12 minutes it takes to get to Waterloo? She resented being made to feel like a human coffee table. It would have been less obnoxious if the business man reading the paper didn’t glare at her every time she moved her head and it rustled the pages of his Times. She preferred Guardian readers anyway.

Rushing out of the train at Waterloo, Michelle moved with the other commuters, pulled along like water going down a drain. Propelled in to the bowel s of the underground she headed for the Northbound Northern line platform for part 2 of her torturous morning commute. Fortunately Michelle was a seasoned professional and knew exactly where to stand to line up with the doors of the tube train when it arrived.

1 minute later and she had secured herself an actual seat on a train rocking and shaking its way northwards. Michelle briefly closed her eyes and enjoyed the ability to relax. Re-opening her eyes she watched a girl in the far corner carefully applying make-up. As the girl pulled out a mascara wand Michelle shuddered at her bravery, but looked away as she didn’t think she could stomach witnessing an accidental impaling.

She realised that she probably looked pretty shocking. Inspecting her reflection opposite she was startled to discover that she had what looked like stubble all over her chin. Reflexively she stroked her face but there was nothing. No stubble under her fingers and no answering movement in the window opposite. Michelle blinked her eyes firmly to dispel the rather uncomfortable sensation that she wasn’t looking at her own reflection. On re-opening her eyes though nothing had changed. Either she had morphed in to a 30-something ginger haired man in need of a shave or she was sitting opposite the wrong reflection.

Looking desperately along the far window, she couldn’t find herself anywhere and all of the other reflections matched the person sitting opposite them. “Of course” Michelle thought bitterly “I’m the one with an out of whack reflection.” As if to add insult to injury her ginger companion winked and smiled at her. “Brilliant and he’s a comedian” she’d muttered to herself as she scuffed her shoes together violently in confused irritation, stopping only when a maternal looking lady gave her a pointedly concerned look.

Getting off at Warren Street, Michelle moved in autopilot out of the station along her normal route to the office. She was worried that her work colleagues might notice that she had a man’s reflection and she’d never hear the end of it. Surely it was considered a major no-no in client meetings? Feeling rather persecuted, Michelle felt it was just typical something like this would happen to her! Taking a deep breath she stopped and turned to stare in the window of a news-agency. There she was, distinctly transparent but also quite clearly neither ginger nor male. Heaving a big sigh of relief she’d resumed her walk to work.

Maybe everything was going to be OK after all.

Part 3: Eclipsing the dog

Michelle could have hugged her boss when he told her their morning meeting had been cancelled, she doubted she could have survived without seeming completely incompetent. Her gratitude was short lived as he dumped piles of data on her to collate into spreadsheets. It was one of the necessary joys of being the most junior in the team but sometimes she had the paranoid feeling management had meetings to make up mind-numbingly boring tasks for her to do for their own sick amusement.

As it was going to take a while for her geriatric computer to stop complaining and actually start, Michelle decided to go and make a strong medicinal cup of tea. Just as the kettle chorus reached its climax, Rav their creepy CFO ambled in mug in hand. Not in the mood for small talk, Michelle busied herself with the art of tea making, using all her concentration on ensuring that the tag on the tea bag didn’t get dragged in to the swirl of poured boiling water. Looking up to reach for the milk she realised that Rav was staring at her. Feeling guilty for hogging the kettle she offered it to him. Taking it absently from her fumbling fingers before she could scald him with splashes of hot water, Rav continued to stare.

Self consciously pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Michelle put on her brightest smile. “Big night last night, think there are going to be a lot of sore heads today” she chirped attempting to deflect attention from her own sore head. She wasn’t sure what the Finance department attitude was to week-day hangovers. They were always the wildest at the Christmas party, but that was only once a year and it was probably allowed in their contracts.

“Michelle, once you have finished preparing your tea, please pop round my office, there’s something I need to discuss with you” Rav answered. Michelle’s heart sank; the distinct lack of inappropriate banter surely meant she was in trouble.

After taking as long as possible to ensure she’d squeezed every ounce of juice out of the tea bag, Michelle headed to Rav’s office, clasping her mug like a weapon between her fingers. As she walked into the office, Rav expressionlessly indicated she should sit before settling in his own seat behind his uncomfortably tidy desk.

“When I was a boy, we used to play a game called “Eclipsing the Dog”. My parents played it, my grandparents. It goes back generations.”

Michelle looked up with surprise from her mug, unclear where Rav was going with this, and confused to find him looking at her with patent concern.

“You wouldn’t be able to play it in London, too much artificial lighting reflected off the sky. But where I grew up, there wasn’t this problem. The days were bright and the nights was pitch black except for a ceiling of stars During the day the sun used to make our shadows stretch out beside us and on cloudy days you could watch the shadows of the clouds dust over fields and buildings. It was on those days that we’d play. I still remember how we used to giggle and scream”

Sighing Rav paused to take a sip of his tea, reminding Michelle to gulp down some of her own.

“It was a serious business. You couldn’t let the shadow of a cloud cover your shadow. The rules stated that, once covered, you’d lost. The theory being that the cloud would steal your shadow. I was terrified that it would really happen to me one day.”

Michelle could eyes were riveted on Rav, she’d never seen him so solemn and there was something in the slow way he was unwrapping his story, his eyes misted over with nostalgia, that soothed her.

“It’s ironic that it’s when I moved to study in the city, that I became exposed to the real threat. In a place where shadows have no room to breathe, where they live on top of each other and are reduced to pale, insipid forms in the glaring lights and teasing half-lights.”

Rav stopped for another sip of tea, Michelle still transfixed could feel a growing knot of unease in her guts. She didn’t want to ask but knew she had to “why are you telling me this?”

“Michelle, you’re a bright, sensitive young lady, you know that something’s wrong. That you’re not yourself”

“Well I’ll admit I’m a tad hung-over today, last night was a little on the crazy side” she tried to joke, while swallowing down the golf ball sized lump in her throat as her mind chose that moment to run an action replay of winking ginger reflections.

“That’s not what I mean. If that were it I’d have the whole office in here. Are you telling me you haven’t noticed anything strange today?”

“Well maybe” Michelle mumbled quietly, reluctant to open up to Rav and embracing her inner petulant six-year-old.

“There’s no maybe Michelle, you’ve lost your shadow and if you don’t get it back soon, you won’t care enough to!” Rav leant forward over his desk to lend addition emphasis to his words “Do you understand? Too long without it and your spark will be gone! Forever!”

Michelle wished that Rav would stop over-doing it with the exclamation marks and the overly dramatic eyebrow lifts. All she wanted was sleep, anything beyond that required superhuman strength. Now he wanted her to worry about tracking down lost shadows.

“Ok so I’m not feeling very sparky today, but I’ve learned my lesson, tequila shots are a stupid idea. I don’t know what else you expect me to do? I just want to get through today and go to sleep, I feel rotten”
“Think beyond the hangover Michelle, this is on top of the hangover”

“Rav, no offence but I really can’t cope with anything on top of the hangover and I really should be getting back to my desk, I have a mountain of data to get through”

“Michelle, please” The earnestness of Rav’s plea stopped her as she moved to get up. She slumped back awkwardly into the chair and turned to look at him. His brown eyes were darkened with worry. “I’ve seen what this does. I don’t want this to happen to you. You must find it, it can’t wait. I’ll tell your boss that you’re unwell and I sent you home. Go and look please!”

Intimidated by the urgency in his voice, Michelle cracked “but I don’t know where to start” she protested as a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away, sniffing loudly over the injustice of this happening to her.

“Try the lost property office at Waterloo. It’s in a corner in the corridors near the entrance for the Bank train. It’s easy to miss if you aren’t looking for it. The man who works there may be able to help you, his name’s Jenkins”

Part 4: What did you expect?

“What am I doing?” Michelle muttered to herself as she staggered wearily through Waterloo. The static whine of the death-glow lighting was making her head buzz. She’d never been gracious when sick so being hung-over and shadow-less wasn’t helping her demeanour one bit. She trundled along oblivious to the looks other commuters were shooting her while giving her a wide berth, reluctant to be dragged into her circle of gloom.

Shrugging her over-loaded handbag to balance more comfortably on her shoulder, Michelle squinted at the options ahead of her. Deciding that this “Lost Property” office was probably lurking on the most inconspicuous looking corridor she headed semi-purposefully to her far left, to an entrance that seemed to be trying its utmost to be ignored. Within seconds she was rewarded with a dilapidated sign saying “←Lost Proper##”, the last couple of letters obscured by what looked like engine oil.

Following the arrow Michelle found herself facing a dimly lit staircase that smelled strongly of urine. Wrinkling her nose in disgust, Michelle held her breath as she tripped awkwardly up stairs which curved upwards and round for a lengthy flight.

Her destination resembled an old fashioned coat check area, nothing more than a glorified hatch with a shadowy room behind. She would have thought it completely deserted if it weren’t for “Careless Whisper” playing on a retro eighties style boom box, perched incongruously on an otherwise completely empty shelf.

Clearing her throat Michelle called out “Um hello is anybody here?”

Other than George Michael’s singing there was no response

“Hello I’m looking for someone called Jenkins?” she tried again after a brief pause, feeling semi-relieved that it looked like she’d be able to call this whole thing off and head for the refuge of her bed and the welcoming arms of oblivion, where she belonged.

She almost jumped out of her skin when a face popped up from directly below the hatch, as if he’d been lying on the floor.

“Yes, what do you want?” The face was followed by a lanky body, pulling itself up from behind the counter, before finally towering over her, complete with scowl and thick layer of dust.

“I’m looking for Jenkins” Michelle repeated in her most helpful, efficient office voice, which was her standard default when uncomfortable.

“I heard you the first time, I’m not deaf. I’m Jenkins”

He wasn’t what she’d expected. In her mind’s eye Jenkins had been a Dickensian character with tufts of haphazard white hair, a letter box mouth and a tendency to repeat phrases like “aren’t we in a pickle”. He hadn’t been a 20 something scruff who clearly couldn’t be arsed to deal with her.

“Is there another Jenkins?” She asked hopefully, peering behind into the empty room behind. At least she thought it was empty but the more she looked, the more it seemed to churn with life. Feeling queasy she looked away and back towards the unsmiling face of hopefully the wrong Jenkins.

“I’m sure there are plenty of Jenkins’, but I’m the only one here. I see you’ve a little problem”

He nodded his head to indicate the conspicuously empty space behind her where her shadow should have been squatting obediently at her feet.

“Yes, I was told you might be able to help” So he was the right Jenkins after all, well maybe he’d warm to her. In her mind she was already concocting romantic scenarios where he’d save her shadow and turn out to be the love of her life. She had a bit of a thing for tall skinny men.

“Depends on where you lost it, I haven’t seen any shadows matching your description today”

“But I haven’t described it yet” Michelle answered pleadingly, only to be rewarded with a look that spoke volumes about just how stupid her last remark was.

“Oh right, I see what you mean” she answered lamely. “Sorry, it’s been a weird day. So, if my shadow isn’t here, any ideas of where I should look next?”

“Well it depends” he answered, chewing on a rather well worn pencil. “Either it got took, or it left. What were the circumstances of its disappearance?”

“I was out with work colleagues, just the usual crowd, drinking too much. I woke up this morning with a hangover and without a shadow. That’s the long and the short of it.”

“Ah I see. What do you do?”

“I work in advertising, well the planning side, I don’t actually make ads. I just make sure the right people see them.”

“And is this what you always wanted to do?”

“Not really. I’ve never really known what I want to do. I just stumbled in to it. I got offered the job and I took it. But I’m not sure what this has got to do with anything?”

“Let me be the judge of that” Jenkins responded before plunging into an interrogation that the Inquisition would have been in awe of. Michelle answered his questions as best she could with a bruised brain, feeling a wash of relief when he eventually stopped quizzing her. Suddenly silent he seemed fascinated by a spot about a metre over her head.

“Well?” she prompted.

“Well? What did you expect?” Jenkins responded tetchily, his eyes snapping back to look critically at her. “You don’t create anything. You don’t help people. You don’t seem to serve any real function in life. Seriously what did you expect?”

“Being a judgemental bastard isn’t helping me feel any better.”

“I wasn’t being a bastard, I was explaining the situation. Your life is aimless. Chances are your shadow’s decided to go off and do something a bit more rewarding with its time on the planet.”

“But shadows can’t do that” Michelle spluttered, not knowing whether he was being serious or if he was just trying to upset her even more.

“Really, you’re an expert are you? What’s to stop them? It doesn’t sound like you really need it. Your life is pretty two dimensional. You seem happy enough, you’ve no major goals, no ambition, what are you worried about? You can function perfectly fine without it.”

“But I want it back” Michelle was astounded by just how blasé Jenkins was being

“And I want a multi-million pound house with river views, but life’s shit that way. “

Michelle gaped at Jenkins. She couldn’t think of a single good retort. Her head hurt. “Holding out for a hero” was now playing on the radio and it was way too hectic for her.

“So you’re saying I don’t need it?”

“Nah, not for what you do. You’ll probably do better without.”

“Oh. Wll in that case...” Subdued Michelle stifled a yawn, her eyes aching under the weight of un-used sleep. Mumbling a half-hearted “thanks” she turned, too tired to argue anymore. She slowly trudged away, drawn inexorably bed-wards.

Once home she slept a deep, dark sleep. She didn’t dream. She didn’t move. When she woke up the next morning, she felt fine. She didn’t waste time wallowing in the events of the day before. She got up, washed, dressed, commuted, worked (avoiding Rav), drank and came home again. Again and again she followed the same cycle, interspersed with weekends and sporadic holidays to exotic places with friends and lovers.

Cradled in the comforting arms of routine, Michelle was happy. While she quickly forgot all about him, it turned out Jenkins was right; she never did miss her shadowy hanger-on.

IOU an ending to lost property.....

2009-07-07T00:17:00.000+10:00

....and this ending will come soon! But not today.

I've been focused on other writing related projects, so it isn't slackness delaying Part 4 going up. The weekend before last I spent 3 days doing storytelling bookcamp a la Robert McKee. I learnt a lot but over 11 hours each day doing my best impersonation of a sponge while sitting in a cramped cinema seat was exhausting. It was definitely worth doing though.

This past weekend I wrote a short story that I'm going to enter in the Guardian weekend short story competition (deadline this Friday scary!). I can't pop it up here as that would disqualify it (as would mean previously published, you have to laugh!). Once the judging has passed though I'll pop it on here (unless by some miracle I win, but I don't fancy my chances, I just need the goal to write towards). I thought I would explore a different genre (a sort of "who done it") for me, but really it's an exercise in character development. I've really enjoyed doing it. It is called Pathetique, and is on the nose 2000 words lol. I've re-drafted the story today following some really helpful feedback from my small critics circle (thanks guys, you know who you are!). It's really interesting what they picked up on. If anything, while I may not directly followed all the feedback, it has prompted me to re-think elements, given the readers perspective. Which has been great fun. My problem is that I know the characters far too well, so some things that are obvious to me needed spelling out more.

So once I have a final version of Pathetique sent out to the Guardian I'm planning to write up the final installment of Lost Property. It is all finished in my head, but I need to put pen to paper so that you can read it. Saying that, it is interesting writing in installments, as it limits you ability to go back & revise. I would probably tweek elements of the first 3 parts if I could, but won't as they are out there now warts and all. Plus for me this is all practise, which make you poor souls my willing guinea pigs. Obviously there's nothing good on TV.

My next project is a short story for the Tonto short story competition. I've got a couple of ideas that are at draft concept stage. I'm going to let them ferment while I finish up Lost Property. So this weekend will be about fleshing up the concepts and seeing if I get really excited about any of them. The joy of the Tonto comp is that you can write as much as 5000 words or as little as a bit of flash fiction, so I'm less restricted on form. For the discipline of writing and constructing I'm going to go for a longer form. I'll leave my flash fiction for this blog, just for you special folk.

Well it is passed midnight so I'd better go to bed. Louis has already turned into a pumpkin on the chair, cutest pumpkin I've ever seen though : )

Happy dreams, whatever they may be

Lost Property Part 3: Eclipsing The Dog

2009-06-21T18:27:00.000+10:00

Michelle could have hugged her boss when he told her that their morning meeting had been cancelled, she doubted she could have survived it without seeming completely incompetent. Her gratitude was short lived, as he dumped a pile of competitive data on her to collate and put in to workable spreadsheets. It was one of the necessary joys of being the most junior in the team but sometimes she had the paranoid feeling that management had meetings where they made up mind-numbingly boring requests for her to respond to for their own amusement.

As it was going to take a while for her geriatric computer to stop complaining about being asked to work and actually start, Michelle decided to go and make a strong medicinal cup of tea. Just as the kettle chorus was reaching its climax, Rav their creepy CFO ambled in mug in hand.

Not in the mood for small talk, Michelle busied herself with the art of tea making, using all her concentration on ensuring that the tag on the tea bag didn’t get dragged in to the swirl of poured boiling water. Looking up to reach for the milk she realised that Rav was staring at her. Feeling guilty for hogging the kettle she offered it to him. Taking it absently from her fumbling fingers before she could scald him with splashes of hot water, Rav continued to stare.

Self consciously pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Michelle put on her brightest smile. “Big night last night, think there are going to be a lot of sore heads today” she chirped attempting to deflect attention from her own sore head. She wasn’t sure what the Finance department attitude was to week-day hangovers. They were always the wildest at the Christmas party, but that was only once a year and it was probably allowed in their contracts.

“Michelle, once you have finished preparing your tea, if you could pop round my office, there’s something I need to discuss with you” Rav answered. Michelle’s heart sank as the lack of inappropriate banter or innuendo surely meant that she was in trouble.

After taking as long as she could to ensure she put exactly the right amount of milk into the mug and viciously squeezed every ounce of tea juice out of the tea bag, Michelle headed to Rav’s office, clasping her mug like a weapon between her fingers. As she walked into the office, Rav was expressionless as he indicated that she should sit down before settling in his seat behind his uncomfortably tidy desk.

“When I was a boy, there was a game we used to play called “Eclipsing the Dog”. My parents played it, my grandparents. It goes back generations.”

Michelle looked up with surprise from her mug, unclear where Rav was going with this, and confused to find him looking at her with patent concern.

“You wouldn’t be able to play it in London, too much artificial lighting reflected off the sky. But where I grew up, there wasn’t this problem. The days were bright and the nights was pitch black except for a ceiling of stars During the day the sun used to make our shadows stretch out beside us and on cloudy days you could watch the shadows of the clouds dust over fields and buildings. It was on those days we would play Eclipsing the Dog, I still remember how we used to giggle and scream” Sighing Rav paused to take a sip of his tea.

“It was a serious business. You could not let the shadow of a cloud cover your shadow. The rules stated that once covered the cloud could steal your shadow leaving you behind to live a half life without it”

Michelle could feel her eyes riveted on Rav, she had never seen him quite so solemn and there was something in the slow way he was unwrapping his story that hypnotised her

“We played this game throughout my childhood and when I was grown I still knew to avoid the passing shadow of clouds in case they should hide something wanting to steal my shadow and leave me incomplete. It is ironic that it is when I moved to study in the city, that I became exposed to the real threat.

In a place where shadows have no room to breathe, where they live on top of each other and are reduced to pale, insipid forms in the glaring lights and teasing half-lights. It’s here that I’ve finally met the shadow-less, seen them move robotically through their daily lives completely unaware of their loss and too numb to understand that something is fundamentally wrong with them.”

Rav stopped for another sip of tea, Michelle still transfixed could feel a growing knot of unease in her guts. She didn’t want to ask but knew she had to “why are you telling me this?”

“Michelle, you are a bright and sensitive young lady, you know that something is wrong and that you are not yourself”

“Well I will admit that I’m a tad hung-over today, last night was a little on the crazy side” she tried to joke, while swallowing down the golf ball sized lump in her throat.

“That is not what I mean, if that were it I would have most of the office in here now, it’s clear you all had a drunken time last night. I’ve had some killer hangovers in my time too, that isn’t why I wanted to talk to you. Are you telling me that you haven’t noticed anything strange today?”

“Well maybe” Michelle mumbled quietly back, reluctant to talk about it with Rav and embracing her inner petulant six-year-old.

“There’s no maybe Michelle, you’ve lost your shadow and if you don’t get it back soon, you won’t care enough to!” Rav leant forward over his desk to lend addition emphasis to his words “Do you understand? Too long without it and you’ll lose direction. Yes you’ll still be alive but your spark will be gone! Forever!”

Michelle wished that Rav would stop over-doing it with the exclamation marks. All she wanted to do was sleep, everything beyond that required superhuman strength. Now he wanted her to worry about tracking down lost shadows.

“I’ll admit I’m not feeling very sparky today, but I really have learned my lesson, the tequila shots were a bad idea. I don’t know what else you expect me to do? I just want to get through today and go to sleep, I feel rotten”

“Think beyond the hangover Michelle, this is on top of the hangover”

“Rav, no offence but I really can’t cope with anything on top of the hangover and I really should be getting back to my desk, I have a mountain of competitive data to get through”

“Michelle, please” The earnestness of Rav’s plea stopped her as she moved to get up. She slumped back awkwardly in to the chair and turned to look at him. His brown eyes were darkened with worry. “I have seen what this does. It happened to a friend of mine and I lost him. I don’t want this to happen to anyone else. You must find it, believe me, your shadow is gone and you must find it, even in your current state, it can’t wait. I will tell your boss that you were clearly unwell and I sent you home. Go and look please!”

Intimidated by the urgency in his voice, Michelle cracked “but I wouldn’t know where to start” she protested as a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away, sniffing loudly over the injustice of this happening to her.

“Try the lost property office at Waterloo. Not the one on the main train concourse. There is one in the underground. It is in a corner in the corridors near the entrance for the Bank train. It’s easy to miss if you aren’t specifically looking for it. The man who works there may be able to help you, his name is Jenkins”

To be continued

Lost Property: Part 2 The Commute

2009-06-14T18:26:00.000+10:00

Despite her green duffle coat, red woolly hat and the 10 miles of blue scarf wrapped around her throat, fingers of morning cold still found vulnerable areas to tickle and nip. Shivering, Michelle blew her warm breath up towards her nose in a vain attempt to defrost it.

Standing at Earlsfield Station was never the highlight of her day. The combination of pain, cold, thirst and tiredness made the whole commuter battle seem impossible. The thought of cramming herself onto an overcrowded train made bile rise to the back of her throat. She had already let three trains go without joining the herd fighting their way on-board. Unfortunately for every person carried away on the train, another two seemed to appear at the station to take their place. It was now or never, she psyched herself up. The next train, she would muscle her way in.

The next train to pull in was uncharacteristically empty. Although all the seats were taken there was actual standing room, this was a miracle of biblical proportions. Michelle sent a quiet “Thank you” to the god of commuters as she wedged herself in the corridor between the seats. They formed a natural barrier that limited the number of people that could stand or lean on her. Despite this, she still found herself uncomfortably close to an armpit on her left and a newspaper on her right. Couldn’t they stop reading for the 12 minutes it takes to get to Waterloo so she didn’t feel like a human coffee table? It would have been less obnoxious if the business man reading the paper didn’t glare at her every time she moved her head and it rustled the pages of his Times. She preferred Guardian readers anyway.

Rushing out of the train at Waterloo, Michelle moved with the other commuters, pulled along like water going down a drain. Propelled in to the bowel s of the underground she headed for the Northbound Northern line platform for part 2 of her torturous morning commute. Fortunately Michelle was a seasoned professional and knew exactly where to stand to line up with the doors of the tube train when it arrived.

1 minute later and she secured herself an actual seat on a train rocking and shaking its way northwards. Michelle briefly closed her eyes and enjoyed the ability to relax for a moment. Opening her eyes she watched a girl in the far corner carefully applying make-up. As the girl pulled out a mascara wand Michelle shuddered at her bravery, but looked away as she didn’t think she could stomach witnessing an accidental impaling.

She realised that she probably looked pretty shocking. Looking at her reflection opposite she was startled to discover that she had what looked like stubble all over her chin. Reflexively she stroked her face but there was nothing. No stubble under her fingers and no answering movement in the window opposite. Michelle blinked her eyes firmly to dispel the rather uncomfortable sensation that she wasn’t looking at her own reflection. On re-opening her eyes though nothing had changed. Either she'd morphed in to a 30-something ginger haired man in need of a shave or she was sitting opposite the wrong reflection.

Looking desperately along the far window, she could not find herself anywhere and all of the other reflections matched the person sitting opposite them. “Of course” Michelle thought bitterly “I’m the one with an out of whack reflection.” As if to add insult to injury her ginger companion winked and smiled at her. “Brilliant and he’s a comedian” she muttered to herself as she scuffed her shoes together violently in confused irritation, stopping only when a maternal looking lady gave her a pointedly concerned look.

Getting off at Warren Street, Michelle moved in autopilot out of the station along her normal route to the office. She was worried that her work colleagues might notice that she had a man’s reflection and she would never hear the end of it. Surely that was considered a major no-no in client meetings? Feeling rather persecuted, Michelle felt it was just typical that something like this would happen to her! Taking a deep breath she stopped and turned to stare in the window of a news-agency. There she was, distinctly transparent but also quite clearly neither ginger nor male. Heaving a big sigh of relief she’d resumed her walk to work.

Maybe everything was going to be OK after all.

To be continued.......

Lost Property: Part 1 The Hangover

2009-06-13T22:21:00.000+10:00

Morning light leaked insipidly through the gaps in the curtains, the pale sharp-edged white hinted at the cold lurking outside. An arm emerged from the sanctuary of the duvet and felt around blindly for the source of a hostile ringing noise. Failing in its mission, more of the body emerged into the cold “barley white” morning revealing Michelle in the company of one hell of a hangover.

Splitting open crust-sealed eyes Michelle looked around only to be reminded that in the spirit of drunken malice the night before, she had placed her alarm clock on the other side of the room. This left her with two equally unpleasant alternatives: she could leave the warm bed cocoon or she could put up with the continued clang of her alarm. Given its continued insistence that she get up, she opted for the former and moved with the grace of a semi-frozen, partially dead gazelle across her room where she violently took her frustration out on the rather noisy inanimate object that had insisted on torturing her. Once she was sure it was dead, she stood shivering in her rather dilapidated night shirt, not awake enough to make a quick decision regarding her next move.

As the wheels of her brain squeaked reluctantly into her action, she reached for her dressing gown. An annoying nagging voice squatting in the back of her mind reminded her that alcohol fuelled bitchiness had not been the only reason for the moving of the alarm clock. She look wistfully at the bed but the voice would not be quieted, pointedly reminding her that she had a meeting first thing at work and she could not afford to be late.

Dragging her hangover with her Michelle showered, brushed her teeth, and moisturised while she struggled to maintain a state of out-of-body numbness. She jabbed contact lenses that felt like they’d soaked in acid over-night, into her angry, red eyes. Blinking blearily around the bathroom the full scale of her hangover finally hit. She was in a world of pain and her body was screaming for water. Guzzling rusty tasting water directly from the tap did very little to alleviate her raging thirst. This was going to be a truly shitty day.

Once fully dressed, Michelle examined herself in the full length mirror. She wasn’t convinced the blue top went with the brown trousers, but she couldn’t find the energy to care, let alone change. She rubbed her eyes delicately and peered more closely at the mirror, it misted gently with her sour mint breath. She decided she must still be drunk because she looked positively blurry. It wasn’t just her red eyes, damp tangled hair or pale face that made her look the worse for wear. She felt and looked positively translucent. Surely she was imagining that she could see the books on the shelves directly behind her? The more she stared the more she realised that the words “Great Expectations” were aligned uncannily perfectly with her nose, or through her nose, or behind her nose..... Her mind balked as she tried to work out the relationship between Dickens’ book and her nose.

Closing her eyes and breathing slowly she decided to move on. No good was coming of her staring through herself in the mirror. Her mind was clearly playing tricks on her and she needed to pull herself together and brave the commute to work. Tardiness was not an option and London Transport waited for no man or woman or hangover.

To be continued......

Tom's Grandma Pam

2009-06-11T21:19:00.001+10:00

My best friend at school is Tom. He’s taller than me and has brown hair that sticks up at funny angles out of his head, which looks cool.

Tom and me sit next to each other ‘cos his last name is Perkins and mine is Parkes and the teacher made us sit alflibeticly at the start of the year and there was no one with a last name between Parkes and Perkins.

This was very lucky coz we was best friends straight away because he likes Batman and he knows that Batman would beat Spiderman in a fight, even if Spiderman was fighting with a bear! Not that he would because Spiderman lives in a city, but if he lived in the country with bears, Batman would still win.

I like going to Tom’s house because he has the best video games and he has no brothers or sisters that he has to share with, so we can play all night until bedtime without a stop except for toilet and dinner. One time we had to stop playing because Tom’s mum was going to visit his Grandma Pam. Tom wanted to go too because the ice cream place near Grandma Pam does bubblegum flavoured ice cream.

We went in the big car with the DVD so we could watch Ice Age again, but that is OK cos I like that movie. His mum drove us to Grandma Pam’s. There was no houses which was funny. Tom explained that his Grandma Pam lives in a hole in the Cement Tree. There was a big stone that told us we were at the right hole. The hole was hidden in the ground, but if you talked loud enough Grandma Pam would hear you.

When I’m old I want to live in a hole in the Cement Tree too. I would have all my video games and I would play all day and not have to share. It would be warm and cosy. No girls would be allowed and I would eat lots of red skins and fantails.

When I got home I told mum about Grandma Pam. My Grandma Alice lives with lots of old people in a big house with green walls the colour of snot that smells of cabbage and is really really hot. Grandma Alice always cries when we visit because she doesn’t like it there.

I told mum that I thought Grandma Alice would be happier in a hole in the Cement Tree too. Mum started to cry so Dad got cross and I had to go to my room without any dinner but that was OK cos I was still full of bubblegum ice cream.

The Princess & the Wolf

2009-06-08T17:37:00.000+10:00

The sun scattered freckles of light through the arching canopy of trees. Lifting her face to embrace the rays, our Princess rides at full speed. Immersed in the pure sensation of movement: her hair dancing behind her; the sound of wind thundering past her ear drums; the gentle slap of the air on her cheeks; eyes shining brightly in her up-turned face as she watches the light play between the leaves & branches over-head. She feels the purest joy of movement, a sensation of complete oneness with her own universe. She is the princess, escaped from her castle to run free. Her faithful hound loping rhythmically by her side.

She doesn’t worry for her own safety as she urges her mount forward, peddling faster and faster down the natural tree formed cathedral. Nothing can touch her as she runs free to worship her own religion. She has flowered to be the magical creature she always believed herself to be. Here the rules of mathematics do not apply. Here the real world isn’t allowed in and she can create her very own mythology.

From behind the trees the Wolf watches her with hungry eyes; the eyes of a hunter mentally devouring his prey. Her happiness tortures him with the razor-sharp knifing pain of longing. Her youth casts a twisted spell over him, creating desires that bubble under the surface of his skin. He can feel his fingers tingling with the urge to reach out and touch her light-soaked cheeks. Just one touch would alleviate his pain and distract him, if only for a moment, from the disease eating him from the inside out.

The Princess slows, exhilarated and breathless as she nears the end of the path. She prepares to turn back, to go back to her castle home. Dusk has started to leave her velvety fingerprints across the air.

Turning to her dog sitting panting by her side she exclaims “I’ll race you back”, leaping forward with laughter frothing in her throat.

Hurtling forward through the cooling and darkening air she sees the Wolf step out of the trees ahead. She slows as she approaches him, stopping barely an arm’s reach from him.

“We were racing” she explains slightly breathlessly

“I can see that” the Wolf answers “but now it’s time to go home.”

Smiling the Princess dismounts to walk beside the Wolf, pushing her bicycle as he turns in the direction of their home. Walking along, he reaches out his fingers to touch the smooth skin of her arm.

“I hope dinner is ready, I’m starving” the young girl says innocently turning to smile at the old Wolf that she knows and loves so well.

“Me too” he answers, a glimmer of sadness in his eyes “me too”.

Shorty short story

2009-05-29T20:56:00.000+10:00

The Mediterranean Sea plays a soothing sun drenched lullabye, rippling around the tattered collection of old wooden fishing boats that shelter haphazardly in the small cove, sending them bobbing gently like apples.

A woman lies basking on a miniature pier that stretches over the tranquil water. She lies on a towel that only partially protects her from the splinters that spike out of the weather-worn planks of the deck.

An apologetic phantom of a better time, the pier hints at a bygone era of prosperity. Now the cove possesses a reassuringly relaxing sense of neglect; the perfect spot to let the sun massage away any remnants of work day tension.

A battered paperback book lies un-touched next to her as she lets her mind drift to a place with no thoughts, no deadline and no worries. She finally achieves the complete absence of conscious thought that she has battled vainly to achieve in the weekly meditation classes she shoe-horns in between meetings.

Giggles, shrieks and splashes bring her thoughts crashing back to the cove. Tentatively opening her eyes she peers out at the sea through her over-sized sunglasses. A small group of children are playing in the water. Diving, squirming and dunking, they are finding joy in everything around them. A small boy with the dark colouring of a local is standing on one of the boats, sending it rocking from side to side with hoots of exultant laughter.

Idly the woman thinks about telling him to get off the boat, as it’s dangerous, but it’s a half hearted thought that quickly dissipates. Around the boat the other children dive as sleek and cheeky as sea lions, darting glances towards their leader balancing on the boat, eager for any crumbs of approval.

Feeling a bold sense of invisibility the woman watches the playful display. The blond and sun pinked children of tourists mix effortlessly with the dark haired local kids. The universal language of childhood banishing any need to understand each other’s spoken tongues.

A young voice causes the woman to visibly jump and she looks down to find one of the fair haired little sea lions hanging on the side of the pier. She feels slightly flustered, as if she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t.

“Hello, don’t I know you?” the girl repeats, looking at her as if she’s the slow kid in class.

“I don’t think so” she replies, trying to imbue as much adult authority as she can in to those 4 words.

“Aren’t you Hannah’s mum?” the girl insists undeterred

“No” the woman replies wishing the girl would go back to playing with the other kids. The intensity of her questioning is making her uncomfortable

“Take off your sunglasses” the girl orders in a tone that hints at Christmas trees sheltering her entire Santa wish-list. The woman obliges without a second thought. “Oh you’re right you’re not Hannah’s mum. Where are your children?”

The woman feels inexplicable guilt, as if she has somehow let this strange child down by not being able to supply additional playmates.

“I don’t have any children”

“Oh” the girl responds, releasing the deck and splashing back into the water. Without a “good-bye” or backward glance she is quickly back, another set of thrashing limbs in the spontaneously created marine playground.

The woman watches for a few more seconds, absently slipping the sun glasses back on her nose. She lies back down on the towel, determined to regain her meditative calm. But try as she might she continues to feel unsettled. She wants the strange emotions to go away. She wants to ignore the strange aching sensation in her womb.

Lying on the pier she turns her mind to her deadlines, her obligations and the to-do list that will inevitably be waiting for her when she gets back to the office. Slowly the reassuring knot of stress returns, burying any unwelcome emotions emanating from her lonely womb.

Sonnet for My Grandmother

2009-05-24T22:04:00.000+10:00

I wrote the following poem many years ago after my grandmother died. She meant the world to me:

In memory of Krystyna Markiewicz

Are the gates of heaven a wonder to behold
Worth all the pain and suffering of this world?
Or is death as the unbelievers have foretold,
An end to all existence young or old?
Blank silence echoes my softly spoken question.
Perhaps this stillness is your bleak reply.
And yet my soul rejects this harsh conclusion
As I'll hug your essence to me 'til I die.
For in my life your life has ressurection
And in all people that your spirit touched.
They all remember you with deep affection
And in their memories you're never lost.
When I with tearful eyes your portrait see
I see the goodness I long to be in me.

Lovely Louis Lizard Catcher

2009-05-24T18:18:00.000+10:00

Just a quick post update as I am supposed to be house cleaning & I keep coming up with reasons not to. Bad bad me!

Here is a photo of my lovely Louis, he looks like such a little angel in this shot. Ha! If only! He caught two lizards today and I managed to rescue both (but sadly not their tails) before he could kill them. Pretty good day except I have lizard tail blood trails on my cleaning up list. Those disembodied tails really do wriggle up a storm for ages.

I can not believe just how lazy I have been this weekend. Saying that, with a nasty stomach bug last week, maybe I needed to just keel over this weekend. I do feel more human now.

Really loving the twitter phenomenon, especially having discovered so many writers that I really admire are regular tweeters. Now I have daily doses of inspiration, which is all really helping with my creative endeavours.

I am working on a fantasy book that I started when I was a teenager. Saying that I am not really picking up where I left off. The characters have been fermenting in the back of my mind. They have always been lurking there and it feels really good to be actively spending time with them. It probably sounds nutty but they are very real to me. Before you call for the men in white coats, I know they aren't "actually" real, but they are great company. So I am starting that all over again.

There are another two stories I am also going to be developing. One is a kids story and the other is for adults. Both are set in real world but with magical dimensions to them. I have issues dealing with real + real. Too much real for me. My imagination doesn't work that way. I need to let it run.

Well I feel better for posting about my writing projects. Now that Louis & I aren't the only ones that know about them, it gives them more substance. What is it about writing that is just so magical? I hope that I always feel the magic in it.

Signing off for now.

Oops

2009-05-23T23:51:00.000+10:00

Well so much for weekly updates, but I am getting back to blogging now and I really mean it. I had good reasons for the not blogging over the last 9 months. However, no excuses now and it will be a good place to talk about my writing. I've been writing up a storm recently and I've been loving it!

I have gone back to the novel idea I had almost 20 years ago (if you look up procrastination in the dictionary, there might be a picture of me, obviously depending on how recently you bought your dictionary). It is wonderful though as the characters have grown with me. I think I am ready to do them justice now. Mainly though, I'm writing for the sheer enjoyment of it.

Sometimes I feel stiffled by the lack of creativity in my day to day life, but surely I'm the one who is supposed to be putting it there? So here goes. I have the support of fabulous friends, a loving family and the devoted affection of my lovely cats (only 1 lives with me in Aus, but I know that Daisy & Jojo are happy with my Mum in London and I see them via Skype).

Plus living in the Lucky Country, it is amazing how anything seems possible. Maybe all the sunshine has gone to my head. Whatever it is, I like it!

Well that's my start for now. I will give updates on my writing, life, the universe and cute things Louis has done as & when they happen.

I have to go now as Louis is giving me a flirty look and I think that means that he wants me to blow a raspberry on this tummy. He's a very tolerant cat.

The Wizard of Aus

2008-07-03T22:06:00.000+10:00

Well it has been almost 2 years since my last post, which is kind of pathetic but it is funny how you stop updating these things when you slip back in to the banal day to day. I got back from travelling, started working again and suddenly my life didn't seem interesting enough to write about.

This is a kind of silly perspective given the fact that 13 months ago I moved to Australia for a job out here, which definitely isn't everyday, boring news. But funnily enough I soon slipped in to the same routine of work all week, collapse at the weekend so once again I am about as adventurous as a pair of black loafers.

Well I have decided that it is time to do something about that, and if updating this blog on a regular basis is the kick up the arse that I need to actually fill my life with more than work and sleep, so be it.

Plus my mum and Maggie are coming out to visit in less than 3 weeks, so the fact is already I have lots of fun stuff planned, so at least I know for late July/August there will be stuff to report. The challenge will be to keep that going from September onwards. Re-reading my travel blog really makes me realise how forgettable my average week is now, and I want to try and create a memory every week starting now. That is my mission statement. Pretty straight forward in theory but might be a bit more challenging in practice.

So queue the mission impossible music and from now on updates of weekly memory making.

Phew!

And finally some photos from Galapagos

2006-07-19T21:32:00.000+10:00

the traveller returns

2006-07-11T08:01:00.000+10:00

well I am now back in London and I felt that for completeness I should update with my last few days in California plus my journey home.

When I left off we were about to celebrate 4th july. It was great fun. We watched Italy beat Germany on the tv (can't believe that I was actually hoping germany would win), drank some beers, had a lovely bbq, ate ice cream and went to watch the fireworks go off over disney land.

The 5th July we actually went in to Disneyland. It was me, Gaby, Sandy and little Giorgina, who at 2 years old was scared of a lot of the rides (despite claiming she wasn't scared, you should have seen her holding her hand over her mouth and looking wide eyed during the Pirates of the Caribbean ride). I did a lot of the more adult, scarier rides like Space Mountain, thundermountain etc.. which was a giggle. We ate lots of stuff that was very overpriced and bad for us. A good time was had by all and we were all exhausted by the time we made it home that night.

Thursday morning it was Eduardo's birthday so we had a celebratory breakfast before we started our girls day. I went for a manicure with Sandy and Gigi (her first manicure and pedicure - she was so good until she smudged it all right after it was done but 2 year olds aren't designed to stay still and wait for these things to dry). Sandy and I dropped Gigi off at home before going out for a spot of shopping and a bite to eat. It was really good fun. We giggled a lot and experienced the joys of retail therapy. When we got back it was time to change shifts with Gaby coming out with me for rubios fish tacos and a film (the Lake House) which was a cute chick flick. We had a lovely time.

the next morning it was friday and time for me to pack my stuff for my journey home. It took me ages, as once again my stuff seemed to have expanded (could be due to the retail therapy the day before) but I manage to cram everything in so that I would only have to wander through the airport with the excess stuff in 2 plastic bags plus my sleeping bag, oh and my large beach bag. Hell I still used up less of the over head space than most people. I had a lovely last lunch with the Negretes before gaby drove me to the airport for 1.30pm

The flight was pretty well on time, so other than sitting in the airport doing sudoku, chatting to some really sweet people in queues and on the plane, plus watching 4 inflight movies because I just could not sleep... there really isn't much to report about the journey (oh and I opted for the beef not the chicken). Mum was there to meet me at 11am Saturday morning in Heathrow. I walked right up to her without her recognising me (what can I say, my tan was well and truly topped up in Ecuador, so I am a different colour to usual). Saturday was lost to jetlag, with my having to have a 3 hour nap and than feeling groggy for the rest of the day. the cats eventually recognised me so it was hard to get a lot of sleep as they kept proding me in the face during the night so that I would stroke them some more. they are allowed to be needy now, but this can not carry on much longer, I need sleep.

Sunday I met up with Terri to watch the Wimbledon mens finals, before going round to Hannah's for the world cup final. A good time was had at both, it was lovely to start catching up with my friends although i am still feeling a bit disorientated and like I should be getting on a bus or a plane to go somewhere else.

Now it is Monday and I have had lots of my hair cut off in anticipation of my job interview tomorrow (plus a top up manicure for luck). Wish me luck! Actually given the time I had better go to bed and hope that the cats don't keep waking me up as I need sleep for my brain to be properly functioning tomorrow.

Suppose that this now constitutes the end of my blog, as my travels are offically over, but watch this space as I am hoping to pop a few galapagos pics up here in the next couple of days. over and out

Ecuador - Gaby's last day

2006-07-05T12:24:00.000+10:00

OK, I have had limited internet access, so this is going to be a long update, you have been warned. I am currently in the US, with my last few days of travelling ahead of me, can't believe that I am catching a plane back home on Friday afternoon. Not sure how I feel about that. Don't think that I will know until I am home and have allowed it to sink in a bit. Suffice it to say, if I had more money, I would be doing more travelling, but I don't, so I won't.

OK so back to my Ecuadorian trip as my earlier blogs only really covered the first two weeks and when we had left off we had just come back from Cuenca, so back in a time when both Ecuador and England were still in the World Cup.. how quickly times change. All the hope dashed. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... um I'll stop talking shit now. Sorry, I am in a strange mood, possibly due to consuming copious amounts of ice cream (yes I know it has lots of calories in it, all I will say to diet Nazis out there is "bite me!" - the alternative weight loss solution, you get people to eat you until you reach your goal weight). OK I really will shut up now.

Last few days with Gaby

OK so we get to the Friday after Cuenca and Gaby's last weekend, as she was flying back to California on the Monday (19th June for those that have lost track, as I almost have). That Friday Gaby's cousin Johnny drove us to the Historical Park in Guayaquil and his daughter Anita stayed with us to go on a guide tour round it. It was fabulous as they have 3 sections. The first has examples of indigenous wildlife from around Ecuador (I made friends with the cutest deer), the second has old style buildings reconstructed to show us what Guayaquil used to look like and the third shows a country farmers house, plus examples of the crops that grow in Ecuador. It was really fascinating and our guide spoke very good English, which is always helpful.

After the historical park we went back to Johnny's for a lovely lunch with his family. They all speak good English which made life very easy for me, given my limited Spanish (although I have used the little that I know as much as possible. Cerveza anyone?). Once again we were treated to fabulous Ecuadorian dishes, I love the food there.

After lunch we headed back to Sonia's as we were going with them all that evening to Salinas and their summer house there. Salinas is on the coast and while it is currently off season there, it is a very busy there buzzing with people escaping the city for weekends by the sea when it is very hot. The journey was uneventful and we were taken out for some lovely seafood that evening on arrival (the food theme continues, my stomach was being spoilt rotten).

The next day it was kind of cloudy so not really good beach weather. Haskel and Sonia drove us all along the coast, stopping so that we can taken photos and explore some of the more dramatic beaches. They were really beautiful. We even went to visit Montanita, a small surfer town that has a bit of a dodgy reputation, with the police turning a blind eye to open use of canabis (OK it is Gaby that thinks the reputation is dodgy, I would have quite liked the place if it hadn't been overly full of tourists).

Before going to the club that Sonia and Haskel belong to for lunch we stopped in Ulon to pick up some cakes, as in the middle of nowhere along the coast road, there is this fabulous baker and cake maker that Haskel and Sonia swear by. A famous Ecuadorian hairdresser (his face is on billboards in Guayaquil, I knew he looked familiar) had the same idea and was also buying naughty pastry goodies while we were there.

That night back at the summer house, we ate pan de yuca (i love that stuff) with yoghurt drinks and attempted to put a dent in the cakes that we had bought. I lost the battle with my slice of chocolate cake, it was gorgeous but I just could not finish it.

The next morning it was Sunday and also Father's day so we headed back to Guayaquil at a reasonable time in order to go round for lunch at Sonia's dad's flat. Her sister and brother were also there with their families. It was really good fun. Haskel kept plying me with vodka and sprite (not joking either, they were strong and I had at least 8 of them), while I chatted on the balcony to Sonia's dad who was so sweet. He kept saying "beautiful woman, drinking with me" to me, which kind of covered most of his English, as well as reciting the lyrics to the Marseillaise, which covered all his French but he knew more of the words than I do!

There was salsa dancing at one point (I observed, as yet another vodka sprite had appeared that required my attention) and lots of laughing. The food was fabulous, Sonia's mum deserves here reputation as a good cook. It was great fun, it really was.

Sadly we had to leave early when Gaby's cousin Patty came to get us, as we were due to meet up with the other side of the family for Gaby's last day in the country. We were round to her Auntie's where lots of people arrived to see us off. Lots of familiar faces from my two weeks in Ecuador. All so lovely and friendly. It was nice to have an offical send off in order to say goodbye to them all. It felt sad though. At least I knew I was going to see Johnny's family again, as I was staying with them the next night before leaving for the Galapagos.

So that was Sunday. Lots of chatting and lauching. Monday morning, Gaby got up very bright and early, so early in fact that I could hardly open my eyes in order to hug here and say good bye. After she had left I myself had to get up and get ready for my 8am pick up to go to Johnny's house. We dropped of my stuff and than I went in to the university where he works with him. It was good fun though. I met some of his students, and chatted to them. We went to visit some of them on their placements (1 primary school and 1 nutrition centre for children) which was definitely eye opening. Really glad that I got the opportunity to go there. I even had lunch with the language department (me hanging out with a group of teachers! never!)

Later I went to the mall and downloaded all my photos on to disk (so that would have been just before I updated blog with photos from previous entry). I tried to get an early night (failed as I couldn't sleep) before getting up early to head to the airport and my trip to the Galapagos.

The Galapagos

OK you are going to be relieved to hear that I am not going to do a day by day, blow by blow account of my Galapagos trip as it would be very samey and very very long!

Here is a summary of what went on. First when we started out there was drama as they had over booked the boat by 3 people. It was OK though as 3 people agreed to get off, based on getting back on the boat at a later time and having all their accommodation and tours covered for the time being. I tell you if I had had the time, I would have gone for that deal too, was good to see that they did well. Fortunately there is a change over of passengers twice a week (Tuesdays and Saturdays) as some people don't do the full week trip and overs do but started on different days. Obvioulsy I was starting on the Tuesday.

After that we settled in to a routine of walking on islands, looking at fabulous wildlife, being reminded not to touch said wildlife, snorkelling and lounging on the boat. I even managed to get a couple of scuba dives in (I dived with hammer head sharks - how cool is that? plus lovely giant turtles, schools of baracuda, lots of white tipped reef sharks and sea lions).\

The trekking was interesting seeing really tame endemic or just plain rare to see wildlife from really clost up. My favourites are probably the blue footed boobies (the boobie dance rocks), the albatross (they fence each over with their beaks as part of the mating ritual, plus as so clumsy on land that they sometimes full over quite dramatically on landing), the sea lions (they are wonderful with their cheeky whiskered faces, amazing swimming with them in particular), the tortoises, the marine igaunas, the land iguanas, the penguins, the frigate birds (with their red pouches to attract the females), the pink flamingos, the turtles, the pelicans, all the sharks and well everything!

I just loved it. We had a lovely bunch of people on the boat, 20 to start with, with only 15 after the changeover on Saturday but with Jo (english girl that agreed to get off due to the overbooking situation that I mentioned) coming back on, which was great as we got on like a house on fire. Most of the time we were in the middle of nowhere at sea, with only wild life on any of the islands that we visited (only change to that being Friday night prior to changeover Saturday when we were in Porto Ayura and lots of us ended up getting horribly drunk and going out to a club playing some truly cheesey tunes).

Otherwise we were pretty well on the boat or looking at stuff on islands. It was great. I liked the crew (although sadly only truly got to bond with them all on my last night, when Jo and I ended up staying up drinking cuba libres out of a bucket with a lot of them until 4am, before getting up at 6m to go visit an island and pretend that we weren't drunk still). Our guide, the gorgeous but kind of boringly depressing Victor, never got sloshed with us, which is a shame as I think he really needed a good drinking session to cheer himself up a bit (he was missing his labrador, Chester). But he was nice to look at, so was a useful back up in the scenery just wasn't catching your attention that particular day.

The sea lions will definitely remain the biggest highlight of the trip though, they were great fun to snorkel with. I was diving around, doing somersaults with sea lions turning all around me. They love to play! They'll swim to within an inch of you very quickly, looking right at you, before streaking off again. It is very funny! Seeing hammerheads on my second diving trip was good too, but they just as much fun as your average sea lion.

So that is how my 8 days in the Galapagos went by, mainly in a haze of wildlife visits, snorkelling and lounging on the deck half asleep. I loved it and would do it again in a minute! Especially since I didn't get sea sick, which is very unusual, as I normally do and a lot of over people were. It wasn't that calm. Those ginger travel sickness pills I got in Aus really rock!

Life after the Galapagos

I spent one night in Porto Ayura after the trip (which I basically slept through thanks to cuba libre night) before heading to the airport (by taxi, bus, boat and bus) on Baltra, on a plane back to Guayaquil, a long walk to the bus station and 2 buses to Ayampe on the coast as I wanted to stay at an Eco lodge there, which Al Williams (for those of you that know him) was going to try and join me for a few days. I didn't know if he would be able to make it as his passport had been stolen in Peru just days before so I didn't know if he would be cross the border without one

I arrived in Ayampe (tiny village not much in it) in the dark and could not find the hotel so stayed in a different one, where I was the only one in it and felt like I had walked in to the shining. I was out there first thing in the morning and realised that I had been metres from where I was supposed to be staying, but couldn't see any of the signs in the dark. Arse. Anyway, I checked in to the Finca Punta Ayampe, a lovely place that I was so glad to finally found. I settling in to a hammock with my book and the kitten (so cute, wanted cuddles). I can't tell you what time it was but a while later (back in hammock following lunch break, kitten back in purring position on my tummy) I looked up to see Al walk in. Although it took me a few moments for my brain to register that it was Al.

It was great to catch up with him. We chatted, ate the worlds largest burritos (ok the record is unproven but I will be on to the guys at the Guiness books to tell them that they need to check them out) and watched some truly bad/weird films of tv. The luxury of being about to watch films was great, didn't really matter what they were.

The next day we hit the beach with 3 of the hotel dogs (Doobie, Foufa and Pepper) who kept distracting us from our reading when they covered us in sand so that we would stop what we were doing and throw stones for them to chase. It was good fun. The beach there was beautiful, very dramatic given the weather. An Indian couple (from New Delhi but currently living in Washington DC for 2 years due to a work contract thingie) that had checked in as we were heading out stopped to say hello. They were heading over to Porto Lopez to book on for whale watching the following day and kindly agreed to book us on to the same trip while they were there. Al and I had been the only people staying at the Eco Lodge up until that point and they mentioned that another girl was checking in as they left so that brought the total up to 5. I did say to Al that the girl might turn out to me my lovely cabin mate Emily from my Galapagos trip. Sure enough it was! I tell you that place should start paying me a commission! So we were a family of 5 and it was great.

That evening we had the great Rummikub tournament (after a very bad attempt at playing Risk by me, Al completely beat me so I had to annihiliate him at Rummikub) with all 5 of us playing (well 2 had to play together as only have 4 boards, but it worked).

Whale watching and Al gets his zen back

The next morning we got up early and got on the bus to Porto Lopes. We had from the guide that there is a place there, called the Whale Cafe that did great coffee. We had to see if this was true (ironically while places like Ecuador and Colombia produce some of the finest coffee in the world, all they drink is Nescafe. it is insane and Nestle have a lot to answer for). We were very excited by the prospect of good coffe and it was good! it was really, it came in mugs and they did refills. I had pancakes and fruit salad to accompany my coffee, it was all lovely.

After that we got on the boat and headed out Isla de Plata to explore (saw Albatross, blue footed boobies actually mating and not just doing the whole boobie dance flirty bit, masked boobies, frigate birds and stuff like that) which was good for Al, as he was going to make the Galapagos Islands. Some of the people than went snorkelling, including Al. I, however, having felt the temperature of the water, decided that they were all insane and stayed on the boat where it was much warmer. Turned out I was right not to go in as the visibility was poor and there was nothing exciting to see.

Now we reach the crucial part of our day trip, the whale watching element. We were on the look out for humpback whales. My 2nd time ever looking for them (saw loads in Boston about 9 years ago) but Al's first. We saw loads after a bit of a slow and worrying start. At first we would only see them fleetingly before they would dive and vanish, which was really not that satisfying but towards the end we saw a group of about 5 of them together. Looked like they might do the same thing (dive and leave) but no, one of them breached (jumped out of the water and went back in with a big splash) and he just kept doing it. It was amazing to watch. It was fantastic and Al managed to get the photo of the trip, catching the whale in full breach, so when I get my hands on a copy of his photo I will pop it on here for all to see.

So that was our Saturday. It was amazing and I enjoyed it a lot more than sitting in a cafe watching England get knocked out of the World Cup by Portugal. Feeling very zen about the whole football thing. In fact Al, who was definitely showing no zen like qualities before (he blames it on having his passport stolen) was pretty zen like after seeing those beautiful whales!. We got back to town, snuck back to the whale cafe for some coffee and some cakes to celebrate Al's birthday (it had been a few days before but kind of being ruined by the thieves) back at the Finca. Unfortunately we had missed the last bus back to Ayampe (a good 30 minute drive) but luckily some guys were heading in that direction so we got a very cool lift on the back of their pick up trucks. It was so much more fun than getting a bus.

When we got back, as it was all of our last nights at the Finca, we all ordered our favourite dishes (yummy giant burrito), drank a few beers and chatted. We were quite exhausted by the time we had our cake at the end.

The next morning e-mails were exchanged, goodbyes were said and I head back to Guayaquil with Emily (who was going straight on to Banos). I had one last night at Johnny's house before getting up very early Monday morning and getting my flight back to the US of A.

So yesterday (Monday) was spent on planes and in airports as I didn't hit LA until 10.30pm due to delays. I did speak to some lovely people at the airport though, so that really passed the time and made me realise just how many great people there are around, such a shame I don't have time to get to know them all

Independence Day

Today is the 4th July. Had a lovely bbq at the Negretes and ate the ice cream that I was promised. It has been a lovely day. Sandy is here with the girls, Gaby, Eduardo and Jenny are all well. Plus Reuben (Gaby's brother), Carlos, Olga and Asim (friends of the family) all came round for the bbq too. We watched Italy beat Germany and drank a few beers. It was all good.

Shortly we are heading out to see the fireworks in Disneyland (well we aren't going in to Disneyland at all but going to a spot near it where we can see their fireworks, as it gets far too crowded in there and we have a naughty two year old to take care of).

I have two full days in California left before I fly back home on Friday, getting in on Saturday. Where did all the time go? Good thing I have kept a blog, that will remind me!

Photos from Ecuador

2006-06-20T08:52:00.000+10:00

Above have the Inca ruins at Ingapirca. Please note the distinct lack of tourists. It was bliss

This is the artists district in Guayaquil at night. A really beautiful part of the city that they restored over recent years, as it had become very run down and a hide out for thieves and stuff. Now it is a vibrant, gorgeous part of the city covering a hill with 444 steps that lead up to a beautiful lighthouse. As well as finding art works here, there are some good bars and restaurants, plus obviously panoramic views of Guayaquil from the top

Here is one of the many gorgeous views of the area around Banos. I would put the many photos of waterfalls that I took up too, as there are so many in the area, but my blog might melt down! So here is a nice panoramic shot to give you a feel of what that area looked like

And this final photo is dedicated to Gaby, who was determined to see an Iguana while she was in Ecuador She finally saw one on her last day (she left this morning), but as it was a pretty quick glimpse, I though she would like this shot of Iggy (original name I know) who was having a bit of a snack on the lawns at the university today. The university has loads of Iguanas roaming the campus, I think they like to lounge around in the sun and look studious. Reminds me of my student days.... or at least it would if they were lounging around, pretending to be studious and drinking beer. Ah what fond memories I have!

Ecuador and footie fever

2006-06-16T23:25:00.000+10:00

Ola All

Well here I am on the final (bar a few days in California) leg of my travels round the world. Can't believe that it is almost over, it is making me depressed just thinking about it! So I won't!

I am writing this in Guayaquil, which is my base while I am in Ecuador. To be more precise, I am at my friend Gaby´s cousin Sonia´s house. So, since I have been remise at updating my blog over the last 10 days, I had better zip through my time here for you all.

OK, we arrive on Monday night (5th June) at Guayaquil airport, where I hung on to our baggage trolley for dear life, fighting off the swarm of porters that all wanted to "help" us. Fortunately we were soon surrounded by the huge contingent of Gaby´s family that had all come to meet her at the airport. It felt like there were 100s of them, although there can´t have been more than about 30-40.

We were taken by Sonia and Haskel to their house, which is gorgeous! Felt like I had arrived in an exclusive spa hotel. It is really really lush. Very nice base for a scummy old backpacker like me, I can tell you. Unfortunately they don´t speak much English and I don´t speak much Spanish (although my vocab is growing fast) so poor old Gaby has to do a lot of translating.

As we arrived quite late after a long trip, it was off to bed for us and our ecuador adventure started the next day.

So Tuesday we were taken to visit Guayaquil, walked along the boardwalk 2000 (was built for the millennium) which gives you great views of the river etc.., went to the rio grande mall and in the evening ate crab at the Red Crab, complete with hammers (I have had a training course on eating crab Ecuadorian style and I am apparently a natural at it, although do feel that I was wearing a lot of my dinner by the time we left). Sonia was a great teacher re how to dispose of a crab. It was a really fun night out

Wednesday we met more of Gaby´s family, so more people that I couldn´t communicate with very well, but they were very friendly, saw a bit more of Guayaquil and headed that evening to the artists quarter, which is a beautifully restored part of town. It is up a hill (444 steps to the top) which has a lovely lighthouse at the top. Got some great views of the city.

Thursday - Saturday we went to Banos which means Baths, is kind of like Bath in UK in that it has thermal and mineral springs there that are supposed to have healing properties. It is also right by a very active volcano and surrounded by mountains (kind of like it is in a basin) in the Andes. There we visited lots of beautiful waterfalls on a sort of tourist bus called a Chiva. Went up to look at the lights of the volcano at night (sadly was too cloudy to see much, but boy could we hear it complaining - so much so we weren´t surprised to find that our car was covered in volcanic ash in the morning). Plus of course we watched football and the atmosphere when Ecuador beat Poland, was amazing. Lots of Canelazos (alcholic local tea like drink - yum yum) to celebrate afterwards.

Also managed to watch the England v Paraguay game that next morning before we headed back to Guayaquil. Go for it England! Please, please for the love of all that is holy bloody well go for it! Sorry had to get that off my chest.

We were in Banos with an aunt of Gaby´s, her daughter in law and her chauffeur/brother of the daughter in law. It was really good fun.

Saturday we made it back in the afternoon, headed back to Sonia´s and had lovely local snacks (sorry am not going to go in the details of all the food that we have eaten, as lots of names of things that will mean nothing to you, but suffice it to say that I am trying everything and it all tastes good).

Sunday we met up with Gaby´s cousin Johnny and his family (who speak English) and were taken on a boat trip, to a church where they have the body of a girl that is in the process of being made a saint and had more local delicacies. After that we went to Gaby´s aunt house for dinner and a lovely walk along the boardwalk of Salado.

Monday we went out on more of a tour of Guayaquil with Gaby´s uncle Walter, having lunch at his house (following a spicy fish soup snack at 11 and ice cream at 12 - they could have warned me that there was going to be lunch as well! was fit to explode afterwards).

Monday evening was our really touristy moment as we went on a tour of Guayaquil on an open top bus. We went with Gaby´s mum, Jenny´, best friend and her husband. They took us for a nice meal afterwards, although how I managed to squeeze more food in is a mystery to me, similar to the mystery of how we manage to eat so much at Christmas! They were very sweet though and even negotiated me a free key ring as a souvenir from the restaurant.

To be honest it is impossible to give our money away here, as with the various friends and family of Gaby always insisting on taking us out, we are having to be quite sneaky in order to pay for anything! And even than our plots often fail and they beat us to it with payment for things! Obviously this is good news for my bank account, but I do feel bad being treated for everything by Gaby's family. They are far too generous.

Tuesday - Thursday we were in Cuenca (with 3 of Gaby´s aunties, her cousin Simon, her cousin Reuben´s wife Louisa and Louisa´s little boy Daniel AKA monster), which is again up in the mountains. We went to visit the Inca ruins at Ingapirca, which was great, as there were only about 4 other tourists there, so could really visit it in peace. We also went round some of the small towns around Cuenca, which are really pretty. Plus the scenery on the drive there was breathtaking (drive to Banos was also stunning although different kind of scenery, more rainforesty while Cuenca, more lagoons and llamas).

Of course we watched Ecuador beat Costa Rica on our last morning. Free Canelasoz afterwards courtesy of our hotel, as they were just so thrilled by the result! Unfortunately I was unable to watch the England game as I was trapped in a car to Guayaquil. Can´t remember the last time I missed an England game. I am officially a traitor! Consumed with guilt I tell you! Absolutely riddled with it! After the altitude in Cuenca I had a storming headache yesterday night, so I got an early night. That brings us up to today, which has only just started so you will have to wait and see what happens!

Love to allxxx

California baby!

2006-06-05T12:30:00.000+10:00

Well hello all, it is my last day in sunny California, so that would make it a good time to update you on my lovely time here!

When I left off I had reluctantly departed Rarotonga (man, I can't wait to get back there when I next get a chance) for lovely Californ I A. My flight was pretty uneventful, although it has to be the first time that I have known so many random people on a flight (well Rarotonga isn't a big place so I met a lot of the other travellers during my stay) which was good as I had Adam to chat to when waiting for the plane, Deb to chat to at my stop over in Tahiti and lots of other random people to say hi, and exchange chit chat with at US baggage collection and customs. I felt positively popular by the time I headed through the system (OK I have to share this, my immigration guy was nice and smiled! what is going on? that has NEVER happened before). My lovely friend Gaby was waiting to meet me at the other side, so lots of hugs and squealing before we headed off.

Now the drive itself was fabulous as Gaby had come to pick me up in her convertible (BMW one that was in a bond film, very smooth), so I felt I had arrived baby! Yes, I might have been wearing tatty trousers, a crumpled, old and worn out t-shirt plus some very very well worn in hiking sandals with a minor stinky problem..... but I looked good! Plus the traffic was bad (it was Friday afternoon before a long weekend, what was I thinking arriving at a time like that) so I had lots of time to catch up with Gaby and enjoy the experience of being in a car that other people were lusting at (I kid you not, just yesterday a guy wolf whistled at us on the freeway... we were going at 70km/h but we could still hear him as we went past his truck).

When we made it back to Tustin it was fabulous to see Eduardo and Jenny (Gaby's parent's) and I was once again enveloped in the warmth of their family. Like an abandoned kitten that needs a home. That evening Gaby and I went to see X Men 3, as it had opened that day (enjoyed it and the fish tacos we had before at Rubios - yummy yummy).

Saturday was the day that my mum was arriving. Gaby, Jenny and I headed out to LAX to meet their plane. It was slightly delayed so we drank lots of frozen coffee and people watched. My mum and Maggie were flying over with Paul, who was coming to stay in Santa Monica with his sister. As I had met her before, it was great when we bumped in to her at the bit where you wait for people to come out, so that she could wait with us too. We had great fun talking about not waiting but taken the 20th (30th... etc) person that came through even if it wasn't them. Unfortunatley while we kept changing the numbers... none of the lucky winners of our random lottery tempted us enough to abandon my mum, Maggie and Paul, so we were still there when they came through and ready to pick them up.

It was great to see them all. Once again lots of hugging and squealing. Can't believe that it had been over 4 months since I had seen my mum. Felt like so much longer and yet like yesterday too. Weird sensation.

Paul headed off to Santa Monica with his sister and nephew, while Maggie and Mum headed back to Orange County. There was lots of catching up going on.. hugs... and some lovely food. That pretty well covers Saturday.

Sunday we went and did some shopping in the afternoon in Newport beach. There is something about the US and California in particular, that really makes a person want to shop. It is weird! But it was nice to wander round Newport and chat etc... I actually didn't buy anything that day (obviously saving it all up for the major shopping spree I have been on since).

Monday - Wednesday we headed up the coast to Monterey... Gaby, Maggie, my mum and I. We went to see Sandy, Rick and their gorgeous little girls Giorgina and Sophia. What fun we had. As it is quite a long drive we didn't make it to Monterey until around 3pm. We caught up with Sandy and Rick, went to visit a Mission and had the most lovely bbq that evening (being Memorial day I am assured that this was the American thing to do and that we were being authentic).

Tuesday Rick was at work, we headed to a vineyard and tasted some wines. Met up with Rick at lunchtime and had some fabulous burgers before heading round Monterey and to Carmel. Had a coffee break and did some window shopping (still controlling myself at this point)

Now Wednesday is when it all starts going wrong for my flexible friend. We head to Gilroy with Sandy (we have packed up as we will head straight back to OC from there) and the Outlet shops... Umm well it had been a long time since I had had a serious dose of retail therapy and obviously I was in need. 2 skirts, 3 tops and 2 pair of sandals later... I felt good! Oh and a hair band thingie too It was great! There was so much more I could have bought, but didn't so I was really quite restrained. As we shopped for so long, we didn't make it back to OC until around 11pm, so I was only really fit for bed at that point.

Thursday was a beautiful day and we headed back to Newport Beach to do some more shopping (well ostensibly for my mum to look for nice kids clothes and for me to go to the Ipod shop to talk to them about the fact that my Ipod had been in a coma since Rainbow beach and was showing no inclination to come back to life). Sadly the prognosis was not good for my little Ipod (hard drive was screwed, which is what I told them anyway but I had to wait 1 hour for them to confirm it). As it was out of warranty the repairs wouldn't be covered....rrr! But on the bright side we could send it to the recycling home for ipods and get 10% off a new one. My mum, being very naughty and following much debating (read arguing) with me about it, bought me a new black one (30gb) It is very beautiful! I look forward to playing with it when I get home as she took it back to London for me. On the additional brightside I found another fabulous skirt and top on this trip too, so I will not disgrace Gaby in front of her family when we go to Ecuador (she had every reason to be worried!)

When we got back Gaby and Jenny had prepared a feast of roasted rosemary potatoes, roast chicken, Jenny's ecuadorian/greek style beans, artichoke etc.. It was lovely. Really enjoying all the home cooked food I am getting here in California (don't even get me started on Sandy's cooking when we were in Monterey - delicious - I am going to be the size of a house by the time I get home if this continues in Ecuador)

Friday we drove the PCH from OC towards LA. Had lunch in Venice Beach, drove up and round Malibu before doing some more shopping in Santa Monica (stocked up on some fab CDs) before heading back for my Mum and Maggie's final meal in California.

Saturday morning was weird. Felt sad saying goodbye to my mum and Maggie. So once they had left for the airport, Gaby and I went shopping (for practical stuff we would need in Ecuador and I needed to find new odour eaters for my stinky sandals as the ones I had bought before were just turning them white but not actually doing anything about the smell), helped out with the office move (Jenny's business was changing offices, I could show off just how strong and macho I am, even with a manicure... it was fun), went for fish tacos at Rubios (just love those, have to go again before I head home, they are just too good), and did buy some more CDs (we had to go and get a CD as a present for Gaby's cousin Johnny in Ecuador and I just couldn't help myself, I bought myself a few more to keep me going - have been listening to the same CDs for too long since my Ipod died on me, needed some new stuff or would go crazy).

Saturday night Gaby and I went to see "the Break up" in the cinema (thought it was mainly good but could have done with moving faster, being shorter and having more funny moments... acting was very good as you did feel rather uncomfortably like you were witnessing a break up). Didn't have fish tacos as had those for lunch and it would be over kill. But I do think popcorn is a heavenly dinner alternative and it has been so long since i had any.

So today is Sunday. Gaby and I went to meet up with my friend Bettina (who I know from my time at Fox, she works for Fox in LA and is fabulous). We went to her house in the Hollywood hills and parked up the lovely and still sexy convertible. Bettina, Jack (her 3 year old son who is very cute) and Linus (her big, soppy dog) took Gaby and I on a tour of Hollywood and the Fox lot. We parked at Santa Monica and walked along the pier, before having lunch at Bubba Gumps (good shrimp, plus they supplied crayons so that I could colour stuff in, since Jack lost interest very quickly). It was just great. We had some good cocktails there so I was feeling quite rosy cheeked by the time we left.

After lunch we wandered on the pier, allowing Linus to stretch his legs and Jack to play on the various little moving car things that kids adore. Bettina than took us on a tour of the mansions on Sunset boulevard, Bel Air etc.. before heading back to her house and a final glass of wine. Unfortunately as we have to get up at a really obnoxious time for our flight tomorrow (we have to leave the house at 4.30am) and we still need to pack, we couldn't stay too late so we headed back here. It looks like Gaby and Bettina are going to keep in touch, as they got on like a house on fire (never have understood that expression but it doesn't stop me using it) so a new friendship has been born.

I have taken the opportunity to update this blog as my packing is much easier than Gaby's (joy of living out of a backpack). Hope that everyone is well. Not sure how much internet access I will have in Ecuador, so don't worry if I go a bit quiet for a while. I will update when I can.

Love to all

PHOTOS! Yeah

2006-05-27T11:59:00.000+10:00

Well firstly here is an example of my underwater photography work. Had to take piccies as part of my Advanced PADI certification. For a first go, was proud of this one, as you can tell it is a fish and everything!

Here is the famous White Tipped Reef shark that I saw on my 2nd to last dive. I was about 1m in front of it, peeking over some coral. We felt that the divemaster should be the one to swim up next to it and take this piccie. Thanks Gaz!

Here I am under the water - proof that I have been diving for any non-believers out there.

And finally here I am happy after a good dive! Life is sweet

Shark!

2006-05-26T08:06:00.000+10:00

Well I am not in the US yet, but wanted to update quickly re my last dive trips before I leave the island tonight (plus gives me the perfect excuse to have a final banana & coconut thick shake umm yummy).

OK so I went for my dives after blogging yesterday and on our first dive out in the afternoon we saw a shark. It was amazing. It was a white tipped reef shark (so not particularly dangerous, although this one was very large for a reef shark, so I wouldn't have wanted to piss it off). It was lying on a sandy patch between the coral obviously planning to have a bit of a siesta. Of course we turned up, got really close to it too (I was only about 1 metre away peeking at it from behind the coral). Gaz (one of the divemasters) managed to get some truly phenomenal photos of it, which I have copies off (plus I have copies of my own underwater photography attempts... some of them aren't half bad).

I really can't explain just how amazing it was to be so close to this shark. I could see its gills moving and its eyes watching us, to assess whether we were a threat. Think in the end it just decided we were a little annoying so swam to another spot to try and sleep (foiled by the fact that we followed the poor thing.. he is lucky that we only have a finite amount of air, so couldn't loiter around it for too long). I can't wait to show you all the photos. If I get a chance to I will try to put one of them up here.

After that I was just on a high. We had one final dive (saw the cutest little moray eel trying to look all macho - got a cool photo of it glaring at Gaz's fingers, which will give you an idea of just how diddy it was) , a blue starfish and of course lots of the beautiful reef fish that you get round here. No sign of Ed the Trigger Fish, which is a shame as I wanted to say goodbye to the great ugly thing. There is something quite sweet about having an aquatic stalker when you go diving. Obviously Ed never was told that Trigger fish aren't supposed to like divers. But he doesn't really look very bright.

After the dive I handed in all my knowledge review stuff for my Advanced open water certification, and I got my advanced certificate. Excellent! I am hoping that I will get the opportunity to dive when I am in the Galapagos. That would be so cool. All those giant turtles!

Fortunatley it was not final goodbye to the dive team as John (one of their regular divers) was celebrating his birthday in Whatever! bar & restaurant that night and I was invited. It was a really good night, lots of silly magic tricks, a huge but tasty sirloin steak and than back to dance at the banana court (was getting deja vu from the week before). Getting home afterwards proved more problematic as taxis just aren't a way of life here. Fortunately one of the local guys who helps out sometimes at the dive place, Matthew, made sure that I got home OK. Ended up back at his place chatting to his house mate Amber (who makes a mean cup of tea, just call me grandma) and his friend Wayne. So in the end it was 3am by the time I got home, following a very refreshing (it was breezy) trip on the back of a scooter.

Getting up to back this morning was hard, but it has been done! Now I am going to head in to town for a final look round, after popping in to see my diver friends for a final farewell, as promised drunkenly last night (I hate saying good bye, it is so sad). But I will be leaving Rarotonga determined to come back again. I may have been bere 23 days, but I could so easily have stayed so much longer. LA is going to come as a shock after the peace and quiet here.

Scubatastic

2006-05-25T08:28:00.000+10:00

Well I can't believe that tomorrow is my last day on Rarotonga. I don't want to leave! Admittedly the house has been quiet since the boys all left but the Germans, Canadians and American that moved in are really sweet... if not quite as silly. So I have enjoyed some nice mellow evenings with them, watching DVDs or doing my SCUBA homework.

Following my last post I completed my Open Water Diver Qualification. Did a couple of fun dives, decided that since I was going to dive more anyway to sign up for the Advanced course and I completed that yesterday. I have 2 final fun dives this afternoon and that will be my Rarotongan SCUBA adventure over. But on the bright side, I am now qualified to dive up to 30m when I turn up at other dive sites around the world. That can't be a bad thing.

With the advanced SCUBA I did my deep dive to 30m (with game to check for effects of Nitrogen Narcosis, which is kind of like being drunk from the symptoms I have read about), an advanced navigation dive (at last a valid reason to use a compass), wreck dive (yeap that is what it says, I dived on a ship wreck), photography dive (umm yes, no surprise there I took photos) and a night dive (boy was it dark, but diving with a torch in the dark is very cool, trust me). I just need to hand in all my written review stuff this afternoon and I will be officially an advanced PADI diver. Yeah!

That kind of sums up what i have been up to. I think my tan may actually be fading due to the amount of time I have been spending in the water here. But I don't care! Can't believe that it is my last two dives this afternoon. It will be weird saying goodbye to everybody at Pacific Divers. Unfortunately you can't dive on the same day that you fly so tomorrow (as I fly at 11.15pm in the evening) I will be pottering around town, packing and generally winding down for my departure.

However, it will be cool to get to LA and see the Negretes. Plus my Mum and Maggie arrive on Saturday which will be wonderful, can't wait to see them. So the adventure continues. California and Ecuador still to go before I head home and knuckle down to working again. Assuming that I can find a job quickly (NatWest Visa would greatly appreciate my finding a job promptly... hehe)

Will update you from the US of A...

Crazy Aunt Steph

2006-05-20T08:04:00.000+10:00

Well my official new title is Crazy Aunt Steph, as that is what the cheeky sods that I share a house with here like to call me. OK so 3 of them are 19 yrs old, doesn't mean they have to make me feel quite so ancient!

Not that I am really complaining, as I have been laughing so hard over the past week or so, it has been fantastic. Vara's has really turned in to our little home, with evenings spent listening to music and talking utter rubbish. Sadly the 19 yr old contingent (Ollie, Ali and Jon) all left yesterday for LA, so me and Rhys (other household stalwart) are pining for them just a little bit! As is Ariki, our crazy puppy (he is 8 months old and likes to chew on things, particularly feet). The New Zealand girls all left yesterday too to stay with family nearer town and Rhys is off tonight, with the 2 remaining guys off tomorrow, so I am officially being abandoned by everyone. I don't like it!

Oh well, sure that we will have a whole new influx of people today and tomorrow, just hope that they are as fun. Feel like my Vara's family have all left me! Travelling is great, but saying goodbye to people officially sucks!

But on the bright side I have lots of great memories, particularly at the official send off on Wednesday night, dancing at Banana Court to some truly great cheese, while drinking vodka cranberry and melting from the heat.

Plus there is of course my diving. I have been doing my PADI and following 2 dives tomorrow will be a qualified diver. I love it! Rhys learnt with me too and he is officially hooked. While Ali and Ollie did their advanced while they were here, so we were a little diving family. I might try and squeeze my advanced course in before i leave, but it really depends if the lovely folk at Pacific Divers can fit that in. It really is addictive this diving lark though. Excellent! Plus it is so cheap here, it is incredible. Can't even feel guilty about spending too much money. It is a win win situation.

I get the feeling that the rest of my time here is just going to fly by between diving sessions etc. I am optimistic that some more cool people will be arriving to hang out with. But if not, I can get back to my books. Haven't got much reading in recently, as was too busy laughing. Good exercise laughing, you should all try it.

Well I am going to sign out now as don't really have that much more to tell you. I can confirm that I am so relaxed now, it is amazing that I can still function. While I look forward to seeing you all back home, I hope that you won't be offended if I admit to the fact that I really don't want to come home yet. But I still have a good 5 weeks to go, maybe the home sickness will have kicked in by that point.

Love to all

Island life

2006-05-12T09:58:00.000+10:00

Well rather than detail my day to day life (which would get very repetitive) here is a general feeling of my time on Rarotonga.

I get up late normally, generally because I have not quite got in synch with the time difference and can't get to sleep at night. It is like being back home on the weekends. If it is sunny I get up, eat some breakfast, drink some juice, shower, dress and walk round to the lagoon to lounge in the sun, read my book, listen to music and swim when I just get too hot to stay lying there. After that I head back, usually checking e-mails en route and saying hi to those of you that have e-mailed me (Al Williams on his latin american trip is sounding increasingly more spanish with each e-mail)

If it is cloudy or rainy, I usually get the bus in to town, have a spot of lunch, go to the internet places there that are much faster and sort out what I still need to sort out. So far I have booked my return flight to Ecuador, my Galapagos trip, confirmed the date of my flight home to London, updated my CV and started looking around re work. Pretty productive really.

For those of you that want to know, I will be back in London on the morning of Saturday 8th July. No doubt feeling kind of bleary and jetlagged but that is the official "end of travels, welcome back to reality" date. Not sure how I feel about that! : )

Anyway, I have gone off on a tangent. Back to Island life. My evening generally involve sitting around chatting to my house mates, listening to the sea crashing just outside the house, teasing the dog with tidbits of food, and watching the occasional DVD. I did go out for an Island night last Thursday, with local dancing, music, lots of vodka and oranges, a typical Rarotongan meal etc. That was good fun, despite my finding myself surrounded by some very sweet but dour looking Europeans. The guys from my house were on a different table, but I soon ran over to them to have a healthy dose of silliness (can you believe that the Europeans were unmoved by ABBA, the Sugarbabes.... all those silly "who cares how daft you look just throw yourself around the dance floor like you just don't care" tunes).

There is talk with my current contingent of housemates, of having a house bbq some time this week. That should be a good laugh, we'll try and get the lovely Vara in to the party spirit. The old American couple should be in their element, as the husband loves to expound on things bless him (life before computers, the 5th scouts jamberie in Holland in the 1930s, being able to walk the streets without fear in his day etc...). He doesn't mean any harm at all and is very knowledgeable, but it can be difficult to extract yourself when he gets started. I don't think I have heard his wife speak at all, although she is very smiley. The Brit boys in our house keep threatening to bring up politics. I think if that happens I am just going to make a run for it and hide until the conversation (or series of lectures) is over. Still he is very nice about the 1930s Polish scouts, so I am fond of him. Just wish that he had a volume and pause switch for when you need a bit of a break.

What can I say, they are all a nice bunch of people covering a very great age range (18-80+), it makes for some funny moments.

Well that is my island life update. Right now I am going to see some nice diving people about how much it would cost to get my PADI here. Hope that it is reasonable, as, if for no other reason, it can't be hot and sticky under the water surely! Umm cool water and no really dangerous sharks in the area (Hammerheads aren't that evil right - not like the White, Tiger and Bull sharks). Bring it on

Ground hog day

2006-05-10T11:13:00.000+10:00

Well the 3rd May the first time round involved a lot of time in airports and on airplanes, leading to my arriving in Rarotonga the day before I left.

Second time round was much better. As I had a room to myself (a bit of an extravagance, but as I am here for 23 nights I just wanted to have my own space) I actually got to unpack my stuff, and really settle in. I slept through to 10am, which was a good lie in for me, before heading for the 3km walk to the main beach house on Muri beach. I officially checked in and didn't waste any time before hitting the beach..

How lovely it was to laze around, reading a book and splashing in to the lagoon every time that I needed to cool down. The water is so clear you can see all the fish swim past in the distance, and it is so still because of the distant reefs that break the waves further out, you feel like you are swimming in a giant, exotic pool.

Ummmm heaven for my lazy, sun drenched bones

As the afternoon wore on I decided to pop in the little shops along the way to buy some food for dinner. I had had plans of trying to make a stir fry but Rarotonga is not a mecca for stir fry ingredients (unlike you want an onion, potato and paw paw stir fry) and I settled for pasta and sauce. Rarotonga does not offer a great variety of vegetables as while anything that is grown on the island is cheap and readily available, anything that has to be flown in from New Zealand, is more on the expensive side (4.5 for a small packet of cherry tomatoes, but boy did they taste good!). I have adjusted my expectations food wise accordingly and am living on a steady diet of pasta or noodles (well I did manage to make a pretty good chilli last night if I say so myself).

When I made it back to Ariki (the house I am staying in, has an overgrown puppy there of the same name, likes to try and chew my fingers) I found that my housemates had got out a dvd. So once I was full of pasta I settled on the sofa to giggle along to American Pie the Wedding. Silly but satisfying.

So that was the 3rd May second time round. Not sure when I will have a chance to do the same day back to back again, but I did enjoy the novelty of it.

Sydney and Good bye Australia

2006-05-09T10:14:00.000+10:00

Firstly just to let you know that all photos of Adelaide and Sydney can be found on sophiehenry.com - Sophie has put lots of my stuff up in a folder called Steph's photos. There is also a separate Sydney folder, although some of the pictures of Guy, Ann and Thomas are in my folder too. Enjoy!

Now back to Sydney. As I left off Guy and Thomas had come to pick me and Sophie up at the airport. It was amazing to see my Big Brother after all this time. Can't believe that it has been 10 years, and we have all promised each other that it won't be another 10 years before we see each other again.

It was great to catch up and go back to Guy & Ann's for a spot of lunch and a good catch up. Both Sophie & I felt at home straight away. After lunch we went to Manly beach and looked at the market (so many pretty things! hard to resist), wandered down to the beach and had a lovely dinner (yummy mussels). After that, being a Sunday night, it was back home with Thomas off to bed past his bedtime and us chatting away until late (actually that is a general theme for our 3 nights at the Congertons, lots of talking untl far too late for the poor Guy who had to work the next day).

Monday, Sophie & I headed in to town. Felt weird to be on a bus heading in to a city but we recovered. We had great fun going round the shops (ok I admit it, I did spend a little money, I couldn't help myself) before going to Doyles for a lovely seafood lunch overlooking the harbour. Sophie & I managed to track down some pressies for Guy, Ann and Thomas, and felt like we had accomplished something when we found ourselves sat on a bus in rush hour for what felt like hours. These are the things that I do not miss about cities!

That evening we had a lovely meal of steak and salad, with the good wine flowing and a lot of chatting (as I said that was the theme for our trip). I can't explain how great it was to have so much time to catch up with Guy & Ann.

Tuesday was much the same with a later start but a bit of a potter in town, a catch up on the old e-mails before going back for spaghetti bolognaise and more lovely wine at Casa Congerton. Can't believe that it was our last night! I was going to be saying goodbye to Guy, Ann and Sophie in the morning (with Sophie heading to Thailand while i headed to the Cook Islands).

Guy, bless him, was up at 5.30am to make sure I was awake. A quick shower, some last minute packing and a mug of tea later and it was time to head to the airport. I said goodbye to Ann & Sophie at the house (as Sophie's flight wasn't until late afternoon), hoped in the car and Guy drove me all the way to the airport (good thing about a really early flight, he could do that before work, was still above and beyond the call of duty though). Trying not to get too emotional and promising that I would be back before too long, I headed off for my first flight to Auckland before getting connecting flight to Rarotonga.

So the 3rd May I left Australia, briefly dipped in to New Zealand before flying to a small Polynesian island called Rarotonga, only 32 km round and in the middle of the Pacific. I crossed the date line and arrived in Rarotonga on the evening of 2nd May (weird to think that at that time on the 2nd May the first time round, I was eating spaghetti at Guy & Ann's house).

Adelaide and Sydney

2006-05-08T12:22:00.000+10:00

Well I am now in Rarotonga and am still playing catch up (while perspiring heavily, boy is it hot here!). So I need to tie up my time in Australia before I move on to how things are here in luscious Rarotonga.

When I left off I was leaving Cairns to go to Adelaide and vist my many cousins there. The journey was uneventful and I was met at the airport by my cousin Emma and her gorgeous little boy Ambrose (the most beautiful eye lashes you have ever seen on a boy, he is a complete sweetheart). Emma drove us round to her mum's , my cousin Helen's place where I met lots of my other cousins. I am proud to say that I now know the name of all 9 of Helen's lovely kids. I really do have the nicest cousins.

Don't want to go in to huge detail, for those non family members reading this, but everyone was well. I had a lovely meal round at cousin Paul's and met his 3 adorable children too (mum if you came out here, you would be in kiddie heaven!). Susana had made a lovely meal and it was lovely to relax, laugh at Paul & her brother Tim being attacked by little Michael & Ben and see the finale of the Australia's biggest loser. What can I say, it was addictive TV.

The next day Emma, little Ambrose and I went to the Gorge Wildlife park, where I fed kangaroos and wallabies (they are so cute) and finally got to hold a koala (having seen a wild one in the trees the night before when I went for a walk with Emma & Anna). A lovely relaxing evening at Helen's followed, with me actually attempting to turn up one of the legs on Simon's school trousers (umm wonder if that is still holding, sewing was never my strong point, but it was fun trying!). We ended the night with me and some of the girls curled up on sofas watching the Count of Monte Cristo

The next morning Helen kindly gave me a lift across town to the house of my friend Sian, her husband Russell and her 3 week old baby Patric. My trip to Adelaide was all about kids and babies. It was lovely to catch up with her and she seemed really well, for those of you that know her. Finally having recovered from the birth.

That evening, my last in Adelaide, I was treated to trip to Barnacle Bills for little Ben's 3rd birthday party. I met all of Susanna's family, who were lovely. Paul dropped me back at Helen's and we all ended up chatting until 1am. Lots of reminiscing about the family.

The next morning Paul drove me to the airport and I was off to Sydney where I was rejoining Sophie and seeing Guy for the first time in about 10 years.

Of course, I will not be able to finish off the Sydney element as once again I am running out of time on this computer (story of my life at the moment). So that will have to follow shortly. Suffice it to say it was amazing to see Guy when he met me at the Airport and meet his son, the lovely and I can't believe already 6 year old Thomas. He drove us back to his place in North Ryde where I saw Ann. I just wanted to hug them all and not let go! But details of that will follow in my next update, as my time is now fflashing red.

Cairns onwards

2006-05-02T16:33:00.000+10:00

Hi me again and as usual up against it time wise, so I will update as much as I can before I get kicked off PC.

Well I am now in Sydney but am still playing catch up on the old blog front. Umm might need to just start editing myself more and get you all up to date on my adventures, given this is now my last day in Australia (sob, sob, love it here, don't want to leave).

When I left off Sophie & I had been dropped off in Cairns after white water rafting. We were staying at a hostel called Bohemia and by the time we got there we were exhausted (didn't realise how much the day of rafting had taken out of us). We just went for a bite to eat round the corner from the hostel before going back to collapse and sleep like the dead in our hostel. Shame as we met some nice people who wanted to chat etc.. but we just couldn't do it, we needed to sleep and didn't have an ounce of energy left to be sociable.

The next morning was an early start as we were picked up for our Cape Tribulation trip. What a beautiful part of the world. We went on a boat on the Daintree river and saw some big crocodiles (wouldn't want to annoy those creatures, they are huge and deadly), we were taken in to the rainforest, which was awesome and than taken in to where we were staying in Cape Tribulation. Our hostel/resort there was a place called Ferntrees. Peter Pans had messed up and we weren't booked in the same dorms. Unfortunately the hostel was full so they couldn't put us together. As it was Sophie's birthday the next day we decided to upgrade and be put in our own cabin (as this place has proper nice accommodation, not just dorms) so that we could be together to see in her birthday. It was worth every penny (and to be honest wasn't THAT much more given how lovely the accommodation was). Our cabin had 4 beds in it, a wonderful bathroom, a porch and was right in the rainforest. It was heaven!

We went for a wander to get a spot of lunch and found a place called Dragonfly just round the corner from our cabin. It was lovely there and they didn't massages so we booked in to have a massage in later that afternoon. Best thing we could have done. Delphina was a miracle worker. We both floated our of our respective massages feeling like new people. Plus had dinner at Dragonfly afterwards, as when we find somewhere we like, we can get very compulsive about going there (had lunch there the next day too before we left for Cairns.... what can I say it was a beautiful spot and the food was lush).

So other than a bit of pottering around we didn't visit that much in Cape Tribulation. It was just such a lovely spot to calmly wander round and enjoy the scenery. We were picked up by our bus and taken back to Cairns going to visit a gauge and Port Douglas on the way back. It was great. Back in Cairns, I sorted out my luggage as I was flying to Adelaide early the next morning.

Sophie and I worked to the Cairns Esplanade for dinner and celebrated her birthday in style in a restaurant called Splash. I ate the best oysters that I have ever tasted followed by lobster. Sophie decided to splash out (pardon the pun) and bought us a bottle of champagne to have with our meal. It was heaven!

Right Adelaide and Sydney to follow us the running out of time thing is flashing at me on my computer now. Love to all and next update will come from Raratonga. Blimey

OK will try to be brief.... catch up from Rainbow to Adelaide

2006-04-28T17:43:00.000+10:00

Well first things first, at last we have photos, thanks to a) Sophie being able to post loads on her website using her laptop and b) me being at my cousin's place using a decent computer so I have been able to import one.

Yeah.... for more piccies covering some of my Australian adventures, please go to:
www.sophiehenry.com
All the Aussie pictures are currently in 3 folders: 1) Noosa, 2) Noosa, Fraser Island and 3) Rainbow Beach, Whitsundays. More will follow and as they do folders will be added.

So enjoy. I put this photo on as it captures the moment that I ended my last blog with. When we met up with Keren and Larissa again in Rainbow Beach and drank lots of wine to celebrate. I love those girls. They will definitely be friends for life.

Now when I left off we had departed Rainbow Beach and were heading towards Airlie Beach for our trip out to the Whitsunday Islands on a sail boat. Now the coach journey was 14 hours with most of it over night (we left at around 7pm and arrives gone 9am the next day). I did manage to doze in the fitful way that you do given the fact that your neck is starting to cramp up every 20 minutes and you have to move it, or face being stuck in that position for the immediate future. So it would be fair to say that Sophie, Margo and I were far from feeling fresh when we reached Airlie Beach.

As Sophie and I were going straight on a boat that evening, we weren't booked in to a hostel, so we went to the beach in order to catch up on a bit of sleep. Of course the minute I started to nod off it started to rain heavily so we had to run (or in my case stagger slowly, while swearing profusely) for shelter. We didn't manage to have a shower either. BUT we did bump in to Daljit (another Noosa trip friend) and have a catch up with him, plus buy some wine for our boat trip (4 litre box, but that is normal it was a 3 night trip and no we didn't actually finish it). We had an early dinner with Margo at the Beaches hostel restaurant (very nice salmon, yummy) before heading to rendez vous with our skipper, cook and the 10 other passengers of our sail boat, the Madison. We were in high spirits despite feeling smelly & knackered, as we had met some really fab people along the way, so were optimistic that this was going to be another fantastic trip.

Umm.. well we liked Roger our skipper and Christina our cook/2nd in command. They were lovely. However, we knew we were in trouble when it became clear that the other passengers, rather than being made up of a few more small groups of people, was in fact a group of 10 American college students who were all studying together in Brisbane. Sadly our first instincts were right and we really didn't bond with them at all. Well, they were pretty selfish and only interested in chatting to each other. The first night, Sophie and I couldn't even speak to each other over the racket that they were making. Fortunately Sophie had some neurofen on her, as I needed it. The wine just wasn't enough.

TO make things worse, the cabin space was worse than cramped with Sophie & I put in the 4 bunk room (all the other rooms were 2 bunk, so weird that we were put in with the group) where there was no where to put our stuff other than on the bunks. Which meant very limited space to sleep in. I was on the verge of making a bid to swim back to shore by this point. But with sharks and jelly fish in the water I was too much of a coward to try it.

We managed to avoid the Americans (sorry can't remember most of their names, just not interested) and hung out with Roger and Christina as much as possible. We did see some amazing things though and I would definitely recommend sailing round the Whitsunday islands to anyone. Unfortunately the weather wasn't as nice as it could be following the 2nd Cyclone that had hit Cairns just the week before, so we didn't get to go out to the Great Barrier Reef, as it would have been too rough. But we did go to some fantastically beautiful spots (don't just take my word for it, check out the photos on Sophie's site) as Roger had been sailing round that area for years and knew all the best spots.

This is definitely something that I would like to do again, but when I have enough money to ensure that I have the boat just for me and my friends. Plus, big shock, I was not sick! Not even once! Did have a few annoying 20 yr old facile conversation related headaches (conversations about Barbie dolls and who is the sexiest Disney character for example, plus loads about boys/girls they fancy), but otherwise felt fine throughout the trip.

So we spent 3 nights at sea, with stops to go to beaches for walks, visit look out points, see Aboriginal cave drawings and do some snorkelling (well Sophie snorkelled, I couldn't get a stinger suit that didn't have holes in it, so I stayed safely on board reading). Christina looked after us very well food wise and Sophie & I did almost finish our box of wine (but not quite)

When we got back to Airlie beach and were free from our annoying boat mates, we checked in to Magnums (nice hostel) where we straight away bumped in to John and Tylor from our Fraser Island trip. It was great to see some friendly faces again and realise that we are able to have intelligent conversations with 20 somethings... we were just unlucky on our boat. After bumping in to the Canadian boys, we bumped in to the girls... everyone was in good form. We checked e-mails and realised that Jamie from our Noosa trip was in Airlie, texted him and arranged to meet him that night, before bumping in to him on the street 10 minutes later. After that we saw Daljit again... before Margo & her cousin joined us for drinks that evening. It was reunion central. We just needed Larissa & Keren there to make it complete. How we laughed.... Sure that Sophie will put up heavily edited highlights of the photos I took up on her website soon, so what that space.

The next morning we were back on the coach and I said a sad farewell to everyone as, other than the Canadians and a couple of the Israelis from the Fraser trip, I won't have a chance to meet up with any of the others again. Well not in Aus anyway, but get togethers in Europe are already being planned.

We had a lovely 8 hour journey up to mission beach. It got very wet by the time we reached there and you could see a lot of the damage that had been caused by the cyclones. Glad that I wasn't around when either of them hit! We didn't really have a chance to explore Mission beach as it was late by the time we got in and we were feeling pretty tired. We got up in the morning early and were almost ready on time to get picked up to go White water rafting on the Tully River (ok, he had to wait as we ran around pulling our stuff together. Comments were made about how organised we are! I just growled back. Little did we know that our driver would end up being our rafting guide... but following an inauspicious beginning, but the end of the trip Sophie & I were trying to work out how we could keep him).

White Water Rafting was fantastic. There were loads of rafts but we ended up with Drew, who was smart mouthed and cheeky most of the time. I loved it and abused him back. Don't know what it is about Australians, but I fit right in here because I can give as much crap as they do. We laughed so much, which is particularly amusing when you are going down grade 4 rapids. It was definitely exhilirating. I would recommend it to anyone. We had a great team in our raft, and particularly got on with Gina, lovely American student teacher from Florida, who was being so polite despite being told that she was being rude by being polite, when she should be getting in to the flow of Australian abuse/banter, as that is getting in to the local culture. She had definitely got the hang off it by the end though, I like to think I inspired her! I am the queen of cheeky comments and dirty looks!

I would go again in a heartbeat (although being in Adelaide now, that is a problem!). Want to do more!

After White Water Rafting they dropped us off in Cairns. I will tell you all about that and our trip up to Cape Tribulation... plus my time in Adelaide, when I next get a chance to update. I think that Rebecca needs to us the PC.

Love to all xxx

Don't have time to cover it all so here is part 1

2006-04-25T16:24:00.000+10:00

Hello All

Well sorry for being off line for a while but having been at sea for a while, my internet access has been very limited.

When I left off Sophie and I were going to watch a DVD with Margo in our room in Rainbow beach as it was raining. Well we had a fab time watching the Island and after that Margo (who is Dutch not Swedish as per previous post, I am a tad senile) ran off to get some food. Sophie and I were popping out of our room ourselves when a mop of long brown hair and outspread arms, shouting incoherently came running towards us. Before we could get too alarmed we realised it was Keren from our Noosa trip and the incoherent language was Hebrew.

Being girls we hugged and screamed, it was so cool to see her. She told us that Larissa was going in on the 7pm coach too so we had a chance to catch up before we lurked around the coach stop waiting for her to come in (of course her bus was delayed so it was 8pm before we could surprise her and scare everyone getting off at Rainbow beach with our screaming).

What followed was a pretty legendary night for us, so happy to be reunited for one last night. The 5 of us (as Margo also joined us and got on like a house on fire with the girls) dranks lots of wine, chatted, shared chocolate, got increasingly boisterous and than decided that we could sing louder than the group of 50 odd Brazilians that had invaded our Hostel bar. NOt bad going since we only seemed to know about 1/2 the words of all the songs that we picked to sing. They had to withdraw to the beach, obviously recognising our superior ability to be very very noisy. Later we exchanged bad jokes with a group of Irish lads, before prising an amorous Brazilian off Larissa and heading back to our room to watch sophie dance, chat some more, take more silly photos and generally have a great time.

the next day we hung around the beach as it had actually stoppped raining before saying a really sad farewell to Larissa and Keren (Margo was on our coach) and heading to Airley beach for a long 14 hour over night coach journey, before getting straight on to our sail boat (The Madison) that evening for 3 nights sailing round the Whitsunday islands...

Well I will have to tell you all about that another time as I am almost out of time on this computer but it includes our group being me, Sophie and a group of 10 american students. I admit that I contemplated jumping over board at one point... but more details when I have a chance. Hopefully when I am in Adelaide.

Love to all

Fraser Island Freak out

2006-04-17T11:48:00.000+10:00

Well hello all again, as I am typing this it is obvious that I have made it back safe and sound from Fraser Island. Another fantastic trip with another fab group of people, with the added bonus that I didn't have to drive afterall! Phew!

So here is the round up of the Fraser trip. On Thursday afternoon we had a briefing before heading off on our trip Good Friday morning. There were over 50 people in the briefing and we found out that we would be in 5 groups of 10-11. We were told all about the safety elements (don't play with Dingos, how not to wreck the car, rules of the national park that is Fraser, why swimming in the sea round there will kill us due to currents, jelly fish and sharks, why you should never go anywhere on your own... etc..)

After that we were called in to our Groups and Sophie & I were in Group B. To be honest, when I saw Group D where a lot of the older people had been put and than turned to see a group of very young and excited people in Group B, my heart did dip a bit. However, within 5 minutes, Sophie and I were in love with our group and knew that we were a) probably going to be the loudest on the Island and b) going to have a great time.

So to the group. There were 4 Israelis that were travelling together: Shai, Amit, Assaf and Yaniv. We could see straight away that they were going to keep us entertained. Plus 5 Canadians: Shell, Shannon, Lisa, John and Tyler who all seemed adorable. Fortunately a couple of the boys (Shai and Tyler) were cool about driving the great big 4x4 trucks, so I was off the hook and could relax knowing I wasn't going to have to get behind the wheel.

After a few drinks in the bar getting to know our travel companions, Sophie & I went for an early night so that we would be fresh for our early start in the morning. As our room was right next to the bar, it would be fair to say that that didn't quite pan out as I just couldn't sleep but c'est la vie.

The next morning we all met by the trucks to load them up with food, camping gear, stoves, tables, our bags, lights, water etc.. The boys got a quick introduction in to how to drive the monsters that were our trucks. After that we all piled in (8 in the back, 3 up front) and were on our way to the ferry to take us over to Fraser Island. The adventure had begun and everyone was in high spirits. The music was on full blast, we were singing and generally being boisterous in the back, so that no one could be in any doubt about the fact that we were planning to have a really good time.

The ferry journey was short but sweet, so before we knew it we were bombing along the sand with Shai (whose moto was to do everything we were told not to - naughty boy) driving and the rest of us hanging on as we bounced along the beach, screaming at him not to try and go through the water. In the end I adopted my most teacher like voice (what can i say you pick it up if you are related to a lot of them) and basically threatened to murder him once we were out of the truck if he carried on. Seemed to work, which surprised me as much as everyone else and we were peacefully bombing along the sand without any threats of kamakaze driving action.

Our first destination was McKenzie lake and we made it there uneventfully (well our bums were numb and bruised but those trucks aren't designed with comfort in mind). We had a lovely picnic (eggs for Shai as he can not eat bread at the moment as he it is not Kosher at the moment, the other Israeli boys weren't strictly observing that rule so they had sandwiches with us) before going down to the beach and the most beautiful lake on the Island. I had a wonderful lounge and read, plus laughed at the others who seemed to be trying to kill each other in the water. It was so much fun.

After McKenzie with headed to get more ice and water at Eurong, so that we could make sure that our food didn't get hot and rot, before finding our campsite off the beach not far from Eurong. How we laughed that evening, cooking steaks in the dark (well we admittedly should have set up camp a little earlier), drinking copious amounts of red wine (by the metallic mug full) and dancing to music. Plus I never anticipated that I would go to Fraser and be learning Hebrew, although many of those terms can not be used in polite sociey! I have some great photos of us all messing about that night, it was great fun. Plus have discovered that if I only get 4 hours sleep (as we were up at 5.30am the next morning in order to avoid high tide on our trip to Lake Wally) I am not actually grumpy in the morning! Could be that I was still a little merry though... ummm.

Unfortunately as we had the car lights on and music playing for ages the night before, despite the fact that we had regularly turned the car over (although admittedly not for long enough each time) we had a very flat battery. So next step was to flag people down on the beach to find someone that could jump start us. I love Australians, loads of them stopped to help and after problems finding someone with working jump leads we were finally on our way. So we headed Northward up the beach and found a nice spot to picnic before actually looking at the map to find out where the lake was and realising that actually we needed to go back to Eurong and in-land to get to the lake (oops, what can I say, we are full of enthusiasm but not hot on the planning). So we took our time over our picnic breakfast to allow the tide to start going out again before finally heading to lake Wally. For this lake you actually need to hike for about 30 minutes to get to it, across large patches of desert like sand. It reminded me of the Sand patch in Noosa.

As we get going over sand dune after sand dune, we started to worry that maybe this was a wind up by the tour operators. Although people going past us in the opposite direction wearing swim suits, did put our minds are ease. Finally we went over a sand dune and a gorgeous lake was lying at the bottom of the dune. The water was a beautiful dark emerald green, as while it was hot, there were clouds that were protecting us from the more aggressive sun rays. We ran down that last dune, threw off our clothes (well except for the swim suits obviously, wasn't that kind of a trip! what were you thinking) and jumped in the water. It was gorgeous. Lovely and fresh and clean. Swimming around I saw a turtle slowly glide past, before diving under the water when it realised that a great big, human creature was watching it. It was heaven, an opportunity for more silly photos and some lounging around to dry off post swim.

After an hour or so there we hiked back to the car, as we wanted to drive up North of the Island to go to Indian head, some cliffs were you get a fantastic view of Fraser Island. It really was stunning out there. We couldn't see any sharks or dolphins in the ocean though, as the clouds made the water too dark, but apparently on a clear day you get a good view of the wildlife. I wasn't sorry though, as it was already very hot for a cloudy day and with a clear sky I would have completely melted. We also had a lunch at Indian head before heading back down the Island so that we could find a camping spot near the ship wreck that is on the beach there (have great photos of that too, with clouds looks very ominous and dramatic).

We had agreed with the other trucks that we would all try to meet up and camp together near the wreck and we spotted where they were so you soon had an area set up with tents and 5 trucks all spread out. John, Amit and I set to work on dinner and prepared a veritable feast of stir fried chicken, vegetables, rice, sweet chilli and red wine sauce, finished off with wraps for those of us not observing Hebrew holidays. It was gorgeous! There were a fair few other Israelis and Canadians in the other groups so we chatted to them. I got to practice the nicer Hebrew terms that I had learnt (Sababa baby) and drink more wine. Around 11.30 Sophie headed to bed, but I was still mid drink so carried on chatting away. Around midnight, when I was running away to hit my tent, I had to do a quick toilet (ie find private bit of bush) break. Being quite desparate to pee and not wanting to disturb the others I broke the rule and went off to find a spot on my own... Oopsie! As I was emerging from behind my bush, I could hear Shai over in the camp going "Hello Dingos". Sure enough, as I headed in the direction of ther camp, two dingos were heading straight towards me and I was alone. Fortunately, I think these dingos had been to London, I ignored them and they ignored me. I am a lucky girl. Those animals can be very vicious when they want to be. Obviously they had already had their dinner.

So I made it back to my tent unscathed and slept like a baby, until the Canadians woke us all up at 7am so that we could make a start on our final morning on Fraser (we had to be at the Ferry for 2pm). We headed off and ended up having breakfast in Happy Valley, where we could stock up on more clean drinking water before heading back to our favourite spot of Lake McKenzie. It was wonderful, more swimming, laughing and group photos (sadly not for me as my camera battery had died by this point) as we realised that the end was in sight. We stayed at the Lake as long as we could risk it (11.30am) before heading back to catch the ferry. Almost lost one of our bags en route, plus a particularly bad bump sent Shell flying across the truck, and caused Yasiv to bash his head on the ceiling but we literally made it by the skin of our teeth, as we drove on to the ferry it started to move out in direction of the mainland.

Too sad to face the fact that our trip was over, once we had dropped off the truck, cleaned & unloaded everything, we all went for a spot of lunch together. That evening at 7pm we saw the Canadians off at the bus station as they were doing the nasty night trip that Sophie & I are doing tomorrow night, up to Airlie beach. It looks like we should be able to meet up with them there on Saturday night. This morning (after failing to party last night, as we were all too tired, it finally caught up with us, so we missed the great Easter Sunday Toga party) we said goodbye to our Israeli boys as they were driving up north too. We are hoping to see Assaf in Sydney when we are there, plus both Assaf & Amit should be in London in October, so we know that we will see them again then.

It is amazing how attached you can get to people in such a short space of time. I think this is because you are going through some extreme experiences in quite basic conditions, so you all have to pull together. Sophie & I loved our group and are looking forward to seeing them again (Shannon & Lisa will also be in Sydney when we are and fly home the same day that I head to Rarotonga).

So it is now Monday lunchtime. Sophie and I will be popping out to get a bite to eat shortly. Our Dolphin Kayaking trip this afternoon has been cancelled as the weather is pretty bad today (windy, cloudy and rainy, we were obviously lucky when we were in Fraser as it was lovely most of the time). We are booked in to go tomorrow before we get the evening night coach to Airlie. I hope that the weather clears so that we can go, as it would be great to do something like that to wear ourselves out so that we actually get some sleep on the coach. From Airlie we get on the boat for 3 nights out in the Whitsundays and the greater barrier reef. Both Sophie & I are hoping that our luck with travel companions continues, as there will be 12 passengers plus crew on our boat. I am sure that it will! I will update you all with my on-going adventure once we make it back to Airlie beach on Saturday (heading to Mission beach Sunday and our white water rafting adventure on Monday.... it is all go go go!)

Right now, I need food before we curl up in our room (have lucked out and we are the only people in our room) to watch the Island on Sophie's laptop, as she brought some DVDs. Margot, nice Swedish girl from one of the other Fraser groups, is going to join us, as she is here on her own and there really isn't much to do in Rainbow beach when it is raining. It is all about the beach action!

Anyway.. love to all and Happy Easter

Noosa Nutters

2006-04-13T08:20:00.000+10:00

Hello All,

Well my last update was from Byron and that already feels like a long time ago, but I will think back and update you on my final days there and what I have been up to since.

Well I last updated up to Wednesday. On the Thursday I got up early and went in to pick Sophie up at her motel (of course I managed to get lost and therefore be late, nothing like driving round in circles with a platinum blonde up your arse in her poncey car so you can't do a naughty U-turn to make you really late). But I eventually found her and we headed in to Byron so that she could pay for our trip up North. Of course this took longer than expected (well we do have a very full and complicated itinerary) but the lovely people at Peter Pan's sorted everything out for us. After that we went for a spot of brunch and did some last minute shopping for Sophie's preparations for the wedding (which was at 2.30pm that afternoon).

Suffice it to say things got very tight timing wise in the end but I managed to get Sophie to the wedding on time (following hair curling frenzy and me popping back in to town to pick up the final paperwork for our trip) and she had a great time. Having wrecked a lot of my clothing and trainers on my travels I headed to Ballina (larger town South of Byron) where I managed to get some bargains and now have trainers again (so may go horse riding soon) and some summer trousers so that I am no longer relying on only 2 pairs.

That evening was a mellow one with Jo, Craig and I enjoying a lovely supper (Jo is a fab cook) and a bit of TV.

On Friday I had another mellow day with lots of reading, talking to Poppy (the cat) and popping to a place called Clunes (which has one cafe but a beautiful village park) for a spot of lunch. That evening Jo and I were dropped off in Bangalow by Craig and went to the pub that Jo had worked at for many years while she was a student round here. It was great fun. A proper Aussie pub and most of the people in there knew Jo, so lots of hellos all round. Only had about 4 beers, but both Jo and I felt a little bit grubby the next morning, so that seemed to be enough to see us on our way. Obviously I am turning to a light weight.

The next morning Jo & Craig when to a Christening, while I had to pop back to Ballina to drop off my car (sad farewell to my little manual Hyundai Getz, very cute car, not it's fault that I wanted an automatic) before getting a bus back to Byron Bay to catch up on e-mails. Good thing that I did, as had an e-mail from Janina (Galloway ex Eurosport for those of you that know her) saying that she was in Byron and leaving her mobile number. I texted her and found out she was on Main Beach so grab a fruit smoothie and headed there to join her. We had a lovely chat and Emma (Sanders ex Nat Geo for those that know her, what can I say it was media tastic in Byron that day) joined us after recovering from a bad reaction to a jab that she had that morning in preparation for her trip to China (she fainted and hit her head quite hard on her way down poor love).

Unfortunately I didn't have that long to spend with them as Jo & Craig were coming to pick me and Sophie up from her motel, as Sophie was spending her last night with us, so that we could get dropped off together in the morning at the coach stop - plus also meant that we could all have drinks and not worry about driving. But while it may have only been for about 2 hours, it was great to catch up with Janine, who looks fab for her travels and is definitely having a great time.

So that evening Jo, Craig, Sophie and I headed out to Lennox Head for dinner (after Sophie, Jo and I had had a good wonder round the land around their house, through macadamia tree orchards, palms, fruit trees etc.. it really is gorgeous round there). We had a fantastic Thai meal and some nice wine, before heading back to the house for wine and great conversation (squeezing in a lovely ice cream from In the Pink - who do the loveliest ice creams before heading back). It was such a top night. I even got to brush up on my tarot reading skills which was fun, although we didn't have a full deck but we didn't let that stop us!

So the next morning we said a sad farewell to Craig and Jo drove me and Sophie downn to Byron in time to have a spot of breakfast before we caught our coach. It was really sad to say good bye to her! It was so lovely to see her and Craig, hope that it isn't too long before I see them both again! Good to see them so happily settled back at home though.

Well once on the coach Sophie and I were starting our big adventure, heading Northwards via a quick stop in Brisbane to a place called Noosa. We were met at the coach station by John, who works at Dolphins, the hostel that we were staying at in Noosa. As he had to wait for another coach to come in before heading back, we had time to look round the shops and check our e-mails. Sophie & I loved the hostel when we finally got there. Really near to Sunshine Beach, outside of the main city of Noosa it had a great vibe. Really relaxed and friendly. We re-packed our stuff so that all the things that we would need for our trip the next morning would be in a small backpack (no small feat as we were going camping for 2 nights and had already been warned there would be no showers and very primitive facilities available).

That night we went to eat in a restaurant called Stella near the beach. The food was fantastic and we really had a great time, as we knew that we wouldn't be having a nice meal like this for a while. After that we headed back for a relatively early night as we were being picked up at 7.45am to head out to Sandy National Park near Noosa where were going to be camping and canoeing in the everglades.

It turns out that this is a self guided trip (shows how much I was paying attention) and there were 9 of us going out (although Nina was only booked on for 1 night not 2 like the rest of us, so was coming back the next day with people returning from their 2 night stay). First step was to be taken to pick up all the equipment that we would need (tents, cooking sets, drinking water, a group lamp, washing up stuff etc) and the whole group met each other for the first time. After that we were taken to get a water taxi out in to the National Park where we were picking up our canoes and being told what to do. Being told what to do involved being warned not to dive head first in to the water, being reassured that while there were bull sharks in the water they had never been known to attack anyone in the everglades and that we would be lucky to even see one, and to be given a very topline map of where to go, plus this is how you paddle a canoe 2 minute overview. After that we were on our own.

Well the group was composed of me & Sophie, plus Jamie & Daljit from England, Noelette & Sharon from Ireland, Larissa (Spanish, Swiss, England educated), Karen from Israel and Nina from Denmark. It is fair to say that none of us had extensive canoeing experience, so it was funny from moment one. Particularly when me and Sophie were floating off in the wrong direction failing miserably to turn the damn thing around (before you laugh at how stupid we were being, bear in mind these are big old fashioned canoes not kayaks, not the most manoeuvreable thing on the planet, espectially when fully ladden with camping gear). But we all soon got the hang of it and were canoeing through the everglades, admittedly zig zagging a fair bit but beyond that you would think we were pros.

All was fine as we took a detour up a side river since we had a lot of time before we needed to set up camp at Harry's Hut. That was cool, and we wer laughing a lot, After that we headed in the direction of the Hut but missed the main turning, so decided to go an alternative but longer route. However, after going most of the way, we discovered that there was a tree down blocking the route we had taken so that we had to go all the way back again and find the original turning. We made the camp for around 5pm, having started out at around 10am so that is a lot of canoeing. We were aching and knackered, but tents had to go up and food needed to be cooked before it got too dark. It gets very dark out there by around 6pm, so we didn't have much time! But that is where team work comes in and we really did have the loveliest group of people. We helped each other out and despite being tired and being a bit worried that we would never find our camp site, we were still laughing.

A very basic meal and after that we had Jamie desparately persuading us all that it was morally wrong to go to bed at 7pm. So we kept chatting and laughing until around 8.30pm when we just all had to sleep. The next morning we woke up, staggered out of our tents feeling bruised as the sleeping mats didn't really do anything to soften the hard floor, especially given how much our shoulders were aching from the canoeing the day before. It was a beautiful morning, with the sun shining already at 6am. We managed to even have some tea (sponsored by our Irish friends, the great bringers of tea bags) with our cereal bars before hitting the road to go up to camp site 3 (6km canoe up river) and trek up to an area called Sandy Patch (12 km return trip from Sandy Patch).

This is when we really realised why we were doing this trip, despite some stress the day before. The water was still (the river is all tea tree water so lovely warm colour of tea) and mirror like, so everything that we saw around us was clearly reflected in the river. All we could hear other than the sound of our paddles going through the water, was the chatter and singing of all the native birds. I don't know what they were talking about but it sounded quite exciting. It was pure heaven. I didn't care about my burning arm and shoulder muscles, this was just amazing. It only took us about 1hr 40 mins to canoe to camp 3 before we set off on our trek up to Sandy Patch.

That was a very hot trek, as by this point it was around 9.45 so the sun was starting to really warm us! Plus a lot of the hike is up hill so I hope you won't mind my admitting that I was sweating like a pig for most of the trip. By this point we had not seen anyone else at all, we were alone up there.

Having seen the sandy patch from the distance (it looks like a huge blob of sand on the side of the hill) I was not prepared for the reality. It was like walking out of forest straight in to a desert of fine white sandy. There were dunes of this white sand stretching out around us. It was amazing! How this had ended up up there, I do not know but it was stunning and we loved it! Walking around sand is hard work but we ploughed through it stopping to take the silliest photos, laughing as Jamie decided to roll down a sand dune and ended up covered in sand (he was still finding it in his ears later that evening) and generally being really silly. It was also an opportunity to stop for lunch, although my sandwich did end up living up to its name, each time there was the slightest breeze, but hey it adds to the crunch factor. We could even see 40 mile beach from up on the dunes, but didn't head down as we were worried about not getting back to the camp before dark. So after a really good explore of the sand patch we headed back to the river.

First step was not to get in our canoes though, it was swimming time. I was too hot to care about these sharks that wouldn't hurt me "honest". I would have tackled a great white, just to cool down and the water felt fantastic. There is something just great about swimming in tea tree water at the best of times, but when the water is so clean and cool, and you are so hot and sweaty and miles form the nearest shower.... well it was heaven. All I can say is that I definitely cavorted. That is the only word for it, plus it was fun hanging off the end of the canoes and just splashing around. Even Daljit, who was worried as he can't swim, ended up giving in to temptation and was hanging off the end of the dock in the cool water. Only Noelette & Sharon didn't jump in, they don't know what they were missing!

So refreshed we canoed back to camp and made our dinner. Once it was dark we started sharing scary stories (well as much as we could before going off on a comic tangent), made Jamie show us his audition dance to get in to study dance at uni (well our view was he was already covered with sand anyway...) and generally joked around. At some points I was laughing so hard I was crying.. We really didn't have the best group and we didn't want to think about the fact that it was our last night out there, but instead joked about going AWOL in the wilderness (I say joked as without much food or drinking water left we won't have been AWOL for long).

The next morning we got up early and took down our camps, packed up our canoes and set off with plenty of time to meet the boat by 10am at the pick up point. We had time for a stop and a paddle en route. Again the water was clear as a mirror, the birds were sinking and you could hear scattered laughing from the canoes. It was another heavenly moment. I don't think my photos can ever do it justice. We made it back in plenty of time and the boat picked us all up. Once back in Noosa we unpacked all our kit, refilled the water cans, spread out the tents for cleaning and realised that there was nothing left to do but say good bye. Fortunately e-mails have been exchanged, so the Noosa Nutters will keep in touch, but it is amazing how sad I could feel to say good bye to people that I hadn't even meet 50 hours before.

So that was the Noosa Everglades trip. As Sophie kept saying, life doesn't get any better than this. The funny thing is we were bruised, scratched, our muscles were burning, the bugs were biting and we were all dirty without access to a shower, but I don't think any of us have ever been happier.

That afternoon Sophie and I had a lovely lunch in Noosa, to celebrate access to real food, with two refreshing glasses of Sauvignon Blanc. We hit the beach and sure enough fell asleep (Sauv Blanc effect methinks) before having to go and get our coach at 4.20pm to Rainbow Beach. So that is where I am now, the sun is shining, it is early, I was up at 7am for the free pancakes and now desperately need a shower to fully wake up before doing a clothes wash and hitting the beach. Tomorrow morning we head to Fraser Island for another 2 nights camping, this time with 4 wheel drive cars not canoes (guess who will be driving, hehehehe) and hopefully another set of every cool people.

Byron Update

2006-04-06T09:58:00.000+10:00

Well I am still having a great time in Byron. The weather has been a tad changeable to say the least, but the one consistent thing is that it is hot and sticky (whether it is sunny, cloudy, raining or storming - the heat remains).

I have basically been taking it easy. I spent all of Tuesday (which was sunnry and hot) lounging around in Jo & Craig's garden reading. It was all I could manage in the heat. I just couldn't face getting in a car

Wednesday I forced myself in to action(after storm the night before, it was still hot & sticky but overcast, so I thought I could manage it) and went to Mullumbindy to visit the town before driving out to the Crystal Castle (place where they have lovely grounds with lots of crystals, buddhas, life affirming labyrinths etc..). It was nice to wander round surrounded by the gentle waft of essential oils. Nice mellow thing to do on a drizzly afternoon. After that I headed to Byron to meet up with Sophie. We had a giant fruit smoothie each which was heavenly. After that we popped in to Peter Pan's to look at tour and travel options up to Cairns from Byron.

They planned us a great itinerary, gave us a great discount and from Sunday I have a very full fortnight of tours, sailing trips, 4wheel driving, canoeing, kayaking with dolphins, snorkelling, white water rafting and national park visiting... among other things. It is going to be incredible. Plus we only have 1 night where we actually have to sleep on a coach, which given the distances that we are covering is quite amazing. So it looks like I will only get a couple of nights in Adelaide (probably from 27th April to 29th or 30th April) before heading to Sydney. Really depends on flights prices though if I make Adelaide, will be checking that out next.

So as you can tell from the above Sophie is coming travelling round Australia with me, which is great. Really looking forward to it! It should be fantastic.

Anyway, I had better head off to check out flight prices for Cairns to Adelaide and Adelaide to Sydney.

Byeee

Sunny Byron Bay

2006-04-03T14:33:00.000+10:00

Well when I left off I was planning to go out drinking on my second night in Melbourne. This didn't quite pan out as me and two of my dorm mates were sat around chatting for so long in our room, that in the end we decided not go out (more money saved!)

The next day i managed to spur myself in to some semblance of action and headed up to the Botantical Gardens for a pleasant wander before going to the Shrine of Rememberence. I always find war memorials quite emotional and this was no exception. It is a very beautiful building and it is always sad to remember all the people that have died in the wars of the last century (obviously we haven't learnt much from it as people are still dying in wars today). After that I pottered back to town and had a naughty moment where I bought myself a ticket to go see a play that evening. I just couldn't resist. So that night I went to see a play called Ray's Tempest. It was a new play (first performed in 2005) written by an Australian actor, with an Australian cast. It was brilliant. I laughed and cried, which is always a good sign. Some of the very Aussie referenced funny moments went a bit over my head, but that didn't mar the enjoyment at all.

So that was a great way to spend my last night in Melbourne! It really did fly by as I felt very comfortable in Melbourne and just seemed to keep finding nice spots in which to lounge and relax with a book.

On Friday morning I got up at 6.30am in order to get my stuff together and head back to the airport for my flight to Ballina with a short stop and change of plane in Sydney. i was a little worried that my backpack wouldn't be waiting for me in Ballina (as the girl checking me in seemed quite new and for some reason thought I was going to Berlin, fortunately I realised in time to tell her I was in fact going to Ballina which wasn't an international flight... my bag had gone through at the time but after she had finished checking me in correctly she ran off with a new luggage sticker, so I can only assume that she tracked my backpack down).

The flights were uneventful and I landed in Ballina at 1pm, feeling pretty relaxed despite the very heavy rain that was waiting to greet us on arrival. I picked up the keys for my hire car, ready to head off and try and find Jo & Craig's house. But when I got to my car I discovered that it was a manual and not the automatic that I had deliberately booked (as I am now so used to the damn things, all manual driving skills have gone out of the window). Well I thought, I'll be OK but I couldn't get the damn thing to start either. Nothing happened when I turned the key in the ignition. Well not exactly nothing! I got the radio and the air con to work, which is nice but not very helpful in making the car actually move! So I had to plunge out in to the pouring rain and run back to the terminal to find my friendly rental car man and tell him I was having problems.

Suffice it to say, I was not very happy to discover that he was gone. The booth was empty, as were those for all the other rental car companies. The airport itself (not exactly a huge building) had pretty well emptied out so I was stuck there on my own with a car that wouldn't start. I noticed that the Europcar counter had a telephone on it, so I pulled out my rental agreement and found the number for them and called them on their own phone (well I wasn't going to pay for the call). I got the same guy that had given me the keys. Turns out that I need to press the clutch down and turn the key at the same time to get the engine to start. Apparently he neglected to tell me this handy fact because I had said I had booked an automatic. I pointed out that I had booked an automatic as I wasn't used to manuals anymore. His response was that it would be good for me! Bloody Aussies! After the friendly Kiwis, how am I going to cope with loads of Cheeky Aussies.

Anyway, I than had to drive, get used to a manual, see where I was going through the pouring rain and generally try to cope with not being 100% sure where I was going, not being able to see very far out of the window and trying not to kangaroo hop round roundabouts. Not sure why in Australia this is considered good me for! Rrrr

After taking a very scenic route with lots of tangents in the completely wrong direction, I finally made it to Newrybar (the nearest place to Jo & Craig's) where I called Craig for directions. Having been driving around for over an hour, I realised I just wasn't going to find my way without additional help. Sure enough, their place was just round the corner off the Pacific Highway and I finally made it in there. It was an "interesting" journey so I was really glad to make it to Jo and Craig's unscathed. I tried calling the rental company to sort out the mix up, but found out that there were no other cars and I was stuck with my manual car.

Jo & I popped out in my car (I refuse to be put off using it because of their mix up) to get in some wine in the afternoon. Once we got back I was so happy to have a glass of red wine, I can tell you! Plus it was just so great to see both Jo & Craig, who look the same as ever! I also have met Poppy (sorry can't call her Popcorn) their very affectionate cat, who likes to lie around and relax a lot!

That evening, one of Jo's oldest friends, Erica, came round for dinner and we had a lovely meal with nice wine and great conversation. It was great. I slept like a baby that night I can tell you!

On Saturday, which was a beautiful sunny day, we watched the Melbourne Grand Prix final qualifiers. I was so happy when Jenson Button got pole position (for those of you that watched the actual race I was screaming on Sunday when his car brokedown within metres of the finish line - too cruel). Once again jo and I popped out, and I insisted on driving so that I coudl get used to the car. I think that this is when Jo actually started to get a bit worried about me and my manual, what can I say, it is coming back to me but I still forget stuff, particularly re hills! Never my forte. We went to the most easterly point of Australia, where there is a lovely lighthouse and we could see dolphins swimming off the coast quite happily. We could see surfers too and I was happy that we didn't spot any sharks, as those things scare me. Beady eyes and nasty teeth... not a nice combination. Jo tried to reassure me about the fact that only 2 people have ever been taken off the beaches round there and both of them were divers (not at the same time) with the name Ford (not related). I still think it will take a lot to get me swimming in the sea. Maybe a bit of wave jumping but I am not going out there to be shark bait!

That evening we relaxed at home, watched an Adam Sandler double bill on TV. It was good!

Sunday was again pretty relaxed. Jo & I headed in to the Byron market in separate cars (no my driving isn't that scary, it was so that I could stay on longer if I wanted to, as Jo had an assignment to work on, as Sophie as going to be meeting us there). Sure enough I got a text from the lovely Sophie (Sophie Henry for those of you that know her, as she is in Byron for a wedding) saying she was in the market. It was great to see her. We went round the stalls before buying some cold drinks so that we could sit in the shade and have a really good catch up. I am not getting my hopes up but Sophie is saying that she may well join me for the rest of my travels! That would be so cool! I hope that she does, it would be great fun.

After the market I headed back to Jo & Craig's and managed to get lost AGAIN! Man oh man. Fortunately I eventually realised where I should be going so made it back without needing to call for more helpful directions. that evening we went over to Craig's dad's place down the road, as it was his girlfriend Annette's birthday. I met lots of the family, who are all really nice and we had a lovely birthday meal to celebrate. It was really great.

So now it is Monday and I have come in the Byron. Sophie is feeling rather ill (flu poor thing) so I may not see her today, although may pop round just to check on how she is doing. After this update I am going to pop to the tourist centre and look at my options for my trip up to Cairns with stops en route, so that I can discuss these with Sophs. Oh and the sun is still shining, which is great.

So that is the latest from Australia. Love to all

Hello from Australia

2006-03-29T19:04:00.000+11:00

Well after a lovely night with Sam & Tom, supping wine and eating lovely food, I had to drag myself out of bed at 5am for my flight to Australia.

It all went smoothly and here I am in Melbourne, a city where they really know how to look after tourists. At the airport I got the Skybus in to town, once at the main station the driver told us that there would be mini buses to take us to the door of wherever we were going. After checking, that wasn't just a service for hotel guests, but cheapo backpackers got it too. Plus if you give them enough notice, they'll pick you up too when you want to head back to the airport. All free service on top of the orginal bus ticket purchase (which is about 10 quid return! eat your heart out the heathrow express). So I got to my backpackers nice and easily, checked in and dumped my stuff. At which point I was told that they were making free pasta for everyone that night and that all I had to do was turn up at 6pm in the dining room. Sweet! Oh and they provide breakfast free (plus do proper cooked breakfasts on Thursday mornings, so I might just have to go out for a few drinks tonight to really feel the benefit tomorrow morning). Double sweet!

Feeling a bit tired after the flight and journey in, while it was only noon, all I wanted to do was find a nice park and lie there reading a book or snoozing. Walking along the street I saw somewhere wearing a red "i" t-shirt, which basically means that they are a volunteer there to help tourists. Fab! Armed with a city map and advice on the best park to head to (I tell you this place is just great for tourists) I made my way there and sure enough, soon found the perfect place to lounge around for 5 hours, before heading back to the hostel for my free pasta.

The girls in my dorm here are very friendly too, although I managed to get out of doing drinking last night based on tiredness, I think it will look very sad if I don't make it today so I may well have to head out for a few brews tonight. However, as mentioned above, free cooked breakfast tomorrow will see me right.

As for today, after a potter round central Melbourne, I once again headed to the park, claimed a nice big patch of grass and lounged around reading. What can I tell you, while it doesn't make for an exciting blog, it is cheap and relaxing. I had rather spend my money doing exciting stuff when I am on the coast (snorkeling or sailing or running away from people who want to go swim with sharks ) than spend it in a city. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I will tear myself away from the sunshine and make it to a museum or something. Umm or it may be overcast... that might inspire me to be cultural. Chances are thought that I will be once again vegged out in the park (plus I have found a place that does the greatest ice cream) beaing completely and decadently lazy. Bring it on!

Signing out, as I need to check out what the pub action tonight is going to involve.

Me love you all big time...

last words from NZ

2006-03-27T12:26:00.000+11:00

Well it is officially my last day in New Zealand as I have to get up at Sparrow's Fart tomorrow to drive out to the airport, drop off my hire car (of the non-squealy break variety) and catch my plane to Melbourne. I will be very sad to leave but am informed that Australia is fab too, so will maintain a stiff up lip and bid NZ a fond farewell.

When I left off I was in Queenstown about to head back to Auckland the next day and since then I have been pretty rubbish at updating so here is a topline summary of what i have been up to since my last update.

Well my 1 evening in Queenstown I indulged myself and went to the cinema to see a film called River Queen (stars Samantha Morton, Kiefer Sutherland and lots of great Maori actors that we won't have heard of back home, and is set round Whanganui so was great to see the river and the beautiful scenery around there captured on film).

I really loved the hostel that I stayed at which was called Bumbles,so had a lovely night's sleep with no major snoring action from any of my dorm mates. The next day I pottered round Queenstown, wrote lots of postcards, sorted out some stuff on-line and treated myself to a nice pizza at Winnies. After that I took my now incredibly noisy braking car to the airport, packed myself up like a mule and said farewell to the Nissan Pulsar that had taken me around so much of the South Island (noisily in the end but always safely). My flight to Auckland, via Christchurch, went very smoothly, giving me lots of time to read, which was lovely. I arrived in Auckland at 7pm, so after the car rental company had closed, so armed with a description (white, nissan sunny) and the reg, I searched the airport car park, not looking dodgy at all! I found the car, with the keys and car park ticket in the glove compartment, as promised. Amazing that it was still there. Can you imagine leaving a car unlocked with the keys in the glove compartment in Heathrow? Surely it would never be seen again.

After inadvertantly taking the scenic route to Sam & Tom's (OK I know that Mount Eden isn't on the way to Ponsonby but I got confused and made it in the end once I spotted a familiar Starbucks), I made it in time for a lovely Chicken and honey dish that Sam had prepared (umm yummy, home cooking went done a treat I can tell you). I had a lovely evening with them both, before as workers they headed to bed and I watched Madagascar on DVD, giggling like a child. I want a pet penguin now! I am sure that the cats won't mind.

The next morning I drove to the Coromandel Pennisular, specifically to a small town called Hahei. I found a nice hostel, secured myself a bed for 3 nights before going for a wander. 2 swedish girls and a brit, staying in our hostel mentioned that they would love to visit Hot Water beach, but you need a car to get there,so we went on our outing together in time for lowtide (which is when you can dig in the sand to get to the hot water springs below, while the cool sea water washes in to cool you down). Of course there was only a very small area with the hot water under it and a lot of people with shovels. We had a good time though, sinking our feet in to the warm sands and laughing as kids were getting annoyed by the waves destroying their carefully built pools.

The next day I walked from Hahei, along a lovely coastal pathway to Cathedral Cove beach, which is gorgeous. This was my official first full day on the beach in ages. I sat in the soft sand, reading a Dennis Lehane thriller, soaking up the sunshine before I got so hot I had to go jump in the waves and have a swim to cool off. It was great. I read the whole book in one day and feel completely lazy & sun drenched.

I had been hoping to go sea kayaking the next day but the weather was starting to turn (big swells, although no sign of the rain that the forecasters kept threatening us with) and it was a little overcast. I headed to the nearby town of Whitianga to check my e-mails, have a nice spot of lunch and generally potter around. I was back in Hahei for late afternoon, lounging in the beautiful hostel gardens reading another cheap thriller (which I again finished in one day, gripping stuff).

Thus ended my time in the Coromandel, as the next day I got up in the morning, said goodbye to my dorm mates (Henrietta from Germany in particular, who was a great help when I couldn't find my purse, suffice it to say, we found it but that was a pretty nerver wracking 30 minutes) and headed Aucklandwards, as I needed to go through Auckland on the motorway to get to the other side and head to Russell in the Bay of Islands, as that is where I was meeting Sam & Tom for the weekend. The journey took about 7 hours including lunch stops and the ferry crossing from Opua to Russel, so i had time to check in to the motel, watch Tootsie on TV and go buy some food in before Sam & tom made it just before 10pm, in time for as late dinner and some wine & chat.

The next day when we woke up it was clear that it wasn't going to be a problem that Sam hadn't brought her swimmers as it was very overcast and definitely not beach weather. Instead we headed off to Waitangi, which is where the treaty was signed that effectively created New Zealand and established it as a country. It was a great place to go with the Treaty house being a really interesting place to visit and the grounds were lovely. Plus I got to see a Maori war canoe, which was huge, the trees used to make it must have been enormous, with one tree making up a huge section of the canoe. It was great to explore round there before heading in to Pahia so that I could check my e-mails quickly (was checking to see if my accommodation was sorted in the Cook Islands, which it has been with a 23 night stay at Vara's all confirmed where I will have my own room for a great rate so no snorers for a whole 3 weeks! it will be heaven).

That evening in Russell (a beautiful town, that is hard to imagine ever was called the Hell Hole of the Pacific, due to all the sailors, prostitutes and general debauchery that was present there some 170 years ago) we went for a lovely meal at Gannetts, drank some nice wine and had a good chat, enjoying ourselves despite the fact that the tail end of Cyclone Wattie had hit and there was torrential rain outside.

The next morning (sunday) we woke to discovered that the rain hadn't stopped for a second since the evening before and was still going strong. I think the word used on the forecast was "lashing" which was a good description for it. So we had a lovely breakfast at Sally's before heading back towards Auckland going along the old Russell road rather than the ferry. Fun driving in heavy rain along very windy NZ roads! It definitely put my driving skills to the test, but I made it back in one piece, so that has to be a good thing! The cup of tea that Sam made, once we made it back to their house has to be the nicest I ever had! The rest of the Sunday was lazy, watching the Commonwealth Games and My Big Fat Greek Wedding on the TV before getting an early night.

So now it is Monday and I am relaxing at Sam & tom's. Ruthie is over at the moment sorting some stuff out on-line and any minute now I am going to sort out lunch. I just want to chill out and pack all my stuff up before my 5am start tomorrow. It will be so sad saying goodbye but having had such a wonderful time in NZ, I know that I will be back one day. Maybe not as soon as I would like (it is a long way to travel) but this is definitely a country that I want to visit again (although doubt that I will have as much time as I have had this trip!)

Next update will be from Australia. I will get to find out if they say "sweet as bro", "choice" and "awesome" the way that they do here! My hostel is booked in Melbourne so all I need to do now is find it.

Land of mist and water

2006-03-19T13:56:00.000+11:00

Well I made it out in time for my 6.30am pick up to go to Milford Sound. Our guide Will turned up right on time in the Fiordland experiences mini bus and we hit the road. It turned out that there would be 8 of us going out with him that day, so a nice sized group (apparently they often take 16 but one of the guides had injured himself so only half size group my day which as nice). We were a happy group with 3 brits (inc me), 3 Americans, a Kiwi and a Canadian plus of course our guide.

Will did warn us that it was going to be a rainy day and he wasn't kidding. As we started getting closer to Milford Sound everything started to get wetter. His view was that this was the best kind of weather to see that Sound in as you get fewer tourists (we were the only kayakers our and there were not many tour boats) and you get 100s of waterfalls. He wasn't kidding about that, as the rain continued more and more waterfalls started to appear, as the mountains around the Sound are pure rock there is no where for the water to go except down the side in really quite spectacular fashion.

Once we arrived in Milford, Will checked with several boats further out to make sure that no nasty winds were heading our way, but the Fiord was flat and calm where we were and the prognosis further out was that it was also calm. He couldn't understand why the other kayaking company were cancelling their trip (maybe they are scared of getting wet!), but just called them wimps. We headed to the cabin where we were given many layers to wear over our swimsuits, and boy was I grateful for them. We had thermals, covered by a wet vest thing, covered by a fleece, covered by a safety jacket, covered by a rain coat, finished off with two hats (one woolly and one to keep the sand flies off - I hate those damn insects, they love the taste of me though!).

Looking truly gorgeous, we headed to the kayaks to set them up. They were doubles and I was sharing with Gloria from America (real sweetheart, originally from New York City but studying geology in Minnesota, so used to the cold). After a quick training session we hit the water around 10.30am for a good 4 hours on the water. By this point it was well and truly raining, and the fiord looked amazing in the mist. It really did feel kind of spiritual out there! Us looking mildly ridiculous, kayaking over a flat fiord surrounded by huge mountains, trees, waterfalls and mist. At some points the clouds were so low that we got very limited visibility and it was like kayaking through a magical grey wet world.

However, there were moments where the mists lifted and we got the most amazing views of the fiord and the amazing peaks around it. We saw more of my friends, the seals. This is where all the adolescent males hang out until they are mature enough to venture out and try to pull female seals. They were doing their thing, lounging around on the rocks, looking very comfortable. I managed to get some good photos of them though, so that was cool.

I really recommend Milford Sound when it is raining, as you would go along and find waterfall after waterfall, where when it is dry there are no where near as many. When we headed out, some near where we set off where quite small, by the time we got back in they were gushing with water, with mist rising below them. It was awesome.

I have to say though I was quite tired after all the paddling in the rain and was glad to get back in to my warm clothes and finally eat my lunch (it was too wet to eat it out on the water as originally planned). The journey back was cool with Will stopping at various waterfalls and look out points so that we could visit and take more pictures (my camera needed some coaxing as it was claiming in be out of battery but it didn't let me down and managed to keep going so that I got all the shots that I wanted).

At one of the waterfalls we stopped in a car park and found a Kea (a big green parrot native to New Zealand) chewing on some poor person's car roof. I managed to get a great photo of it though, so all was not lost. When we got back from visiting the waterfall it had started on a new car, gnawing on the side of the door. They have pretty evil beaks, so I wasn't about to try and persuade it to stop its run of vandalism. We saw someone pull in with a really nice new car and just wanted to tell them to make a run for it, it just wasn't worth the damage that this bird would inflict on their vehicle. Apparently the Kea's do this because people kept feeding them and it completely threw off their usual diet pattern, so now they go after anything, including cars (seems keen on the rubber bits).

By the time I got back to the hostel it was 6.30pm and I could hardly keep my eyes open (we had a noisy snorer in our dorm, I affectionately refer to as Miss Piggy so I had naff all sleep the night before) and I collapsed on my top bunk (easier said than done). I woke up at 11pm to take out contact lenses and put on PJs before passing out cold until 8am the next morning (actually felt like 9am as the clocks went back so that gave me an extra hour of sleep - which I obviously needed).

So I was refreshed this morning when I loaded up my now very noisy car (the brakes aren't sounding very healthy but I only need to go 17km tomorrow to the airport and I can live with the noise and the people giving me funny looks everytime I have to stop the car - it really is the most grating sound), picked up the 2 German girls that I was giving a lift from the hostel and headed to Queenstown. It was nice to have people to chat to as I drove so the journey felt really short. I dropped them off at their hostel (them laughing at my noisy brake situation, but hell so was I by this point) and headed over to mine. This hostel is lovely, called Bumbles and run by a lovely couple with a cute baby that likes me, which is a good sign apparently.

Ironically I am feeling activitied out and I am in activity central. I my do something tomorrow morning before I have to head to the airport and fly to Auckland. If I can find something here that does not involve jumping off anything. After my Glacier trip it is obvious that I don't do heights (although bizarrely am fine driving round bends with sheer drops on the side, but that is probably cos I am focusing on the road and on-coming traffic rather than the thought of hurtling down for miles). There is loads of Lord of the Rings related stuff round here too, even more so than the rest of New Zealand (which is saying something), maybe I will give in and just do a Middle Earth trip or something naff like that. Who knows!

Anyway, sure that the next update will be from Auckland. I am really looking forward to an evening with Sam and Tom tomorrow. It will be nice to have a proper conversation with friends. I have met some lovely people on my travels but every conversation starts with "how long have you been in NZ", "how much longer do you have", "where are you from" and "where have you visited and where are you going next".. all of those in no particular order. Reminds me of the first year at university ("what A levels did you do", "did you have a GAP year", "where are you from"...) .

Hope that all is well with everyone

Glaciers, the old fashioned way

2006-03-17T17:19:00.000+11:00

Well I made it to Franz Josef no problem and had a lovely evening chatting to people in my hostel (nice place called Glow Worm Cottages) although I did turn done the invitation to watch the Return of the King at 11pm, as I didn't really fancy getting to bed at 2.30am! Most of my dorm mates watched it though, so I still got a bit of a wake up call at 2.30, but such is life.

The next day I woke up to clouds and mist (it had been sunny the afternoon before damn it). It seems that the weather has finally turned on me. Sure enough, when I checked they confirmed that the visibility was too bad for a helicopter to go to the Glacier, so my helihik was off. But what is a girl to do? That is right, walk it, if the helicopter can't get me there I'll be old fashioned and use my legs (with very angry blistered feet attached as an added perk). So I booked on to a half day guided Glacier walk, was given crampons to put on my boots (I know, they sound like they should come with wings & neurofen but turns out that they have nothing to do with the time of the month when women want to roller blade with dalmatians), a waterproof jacket and was popped on to a mini bus to take our group out to the car park near the Glacier.

After that you have to walk through some bush and than along a sort of valley (sure that isn't the geological term for it, but sod it) to the face of the glacier. It was big. Fortunately some very nice men with axes had already carved out steps so that we could climb up it. So digging my crampons in to the ice I headed up. It was very impressive. It is hard to explain why being surrounded by such a huge volume of ice is amazing, but it just is. There was so much of it and I am sure that my photos won't do it justice.

I had one sticky moment when we had to step of a sort of very deep crevice in the ice. I made the mistake of looking down and got a full on vertigo attack. Don't mind having drops near me, but stepping over them felt above and beyond the call of duty. Ram (our guide) had a firm grip of my hand but I just didn't want to move. But in the end I took a deep breath and went for it. One person in our group didn't make it over at all, so I was quite proud that I managed to overcome my fear. What they hadn't told me is that we would be coming back that way too (ahh) but fortunately I knew not to look down the second time.

Anyway the time flew by and before I knew it, it was time to head back. In a way I wish I had always gone for the hiking route, as that way I could have done a full day out there, but you live and learn and I had an 8.5 hour drive to look forward to the next day, so wasn't like I could squeeze any more glacier time before I drove off (left Franz Josef at 8.22am precisely).

Back at the hostel I enjoyed a couple of beers and "Finding Neverland" on Sky Movies, that film always makes me cry which is kind of embarassing. As mentioned above I got up early and was driving towards Te Anau just before 8.30am. I finally got here at 5pm, with a brief coffee stop, rock blasting stop (don't ask) and lunch stop,so must have been driving for about 7.5 hours solid. I am now officially knackered and will be getting a nice early night as tomorrow I have a day of Kayaking booked on Milford Sound and the pick up is at 6.30am. I am yawning just thinking about it.

Love to all...

Lake Tekapo and Mount Cook

2006-03-14T17:25:00.000+11:00

After only 1 night in Christchurch it was unfortunately time to move on as I am quickly running out of time in New Zealand (although my trip to the Air NZ office on Monday morning does mean that I am now leaving on 28th instead of 22nd so I can go to Bay of Islands and the Coromandel).

I headed inwards and mountainwards to Lake Tekapo a beautiful lake about 1.5 hours drive away from Mount Cook. I arrive in the early afternoon and wasted no time in dusting off my hiking boats and heading to do the Mount John Summit and Lakeshore walk (about 3.5 hour hike). Being me I managed to do it the wrong (and therefore harder) way round, starting with Lakeshore and ending up at the summit before going back in towards turn along a windy walking path going through lovely bush, at just about the time that all the bunny rabbits were coming out the play (stupid animals, as if I am not going to see them just because they are standing still. Saying that they are very good at standing still in shadows so have no cute bunny rabbit photos, poo!). The walk was great going past some amazing scenery, so that my camera was about as knackered as I was by the time I made it back to the hostel (where I had a dorm to myself, oh the luxury, although tonight it is going to be full but everyone seems really lovely).
The only negative point was that I have managed to develop a really annoying blister (to look at only small, but when you put boots on feels like it is the size of a golf ball and very sore), so today I had a very fetching but subtle limp!

After a quiet night and a very good sleep I got up this morning, jumped in the car and headed to Mount Cook village where I was booked to go out the see the Tasman Glacier, which has a glacial lake and lots of icebergs, near Mount Cook. Our boat trip was going out until 2.30 so I had a bit of time to explore the village, although really didn't wander as much as I normally would, do to blister issues. The boat trip out with Glacier Explorers was great. There were only 3 of us in our boat, as another big tour group had actually ended up being much smaller than booked, so they thought they would keep us apart from the Japanese group with the on-going translations and put me and a nice couple from near Auckland in our own boat. Our guide (Maggie, from Finchley, the Brits get everywhere) really knew her stuff and obviously is really passionate about what she does. I snapped lots of pictures of glaciers, Mountains in the background and of course the icebergs, that were melting and dripping water as we watched them. I even got to suck on a crystal of ice from one of the icebergs (it tasted like water, in case you were wondering). I will now be spending this evening editing down my photo collection, as I suspect that I got carried away and have about a dozen pictures of the same view. But that is the joy of digital.

Actually the excitement of the day started before I made it to Mount Cook, during the journey. There I was happily bombing along when I come over a hill and there is a huge stretch of road ahead of me and what looks like a house in the middle of the road. Now with my contact lenses I have pretty good vision, so this kind of worried me, I hadn't been driving that long so I couldn't be hallucinating. Sure enough, as I got closer I discovered that it was a house, fully built on a truck that was taking up both lanes. Cars coming the other way were having to drive off the road and wait for it to go past. Suffice it to say, houses do not move that fast (50km/hr seemed standard although once going down hill it must have hit 80 km/hr). Can't they just do an IKEA and take the pieces and build the stupid thing on location rather than carry it around fully built holding speed freaks like me up?

Anway, eventually the house pulled over and the lead car went ahead to stop traffic (one car) coming the other way, so that the now considerable tailback of coaches and cars could overtake. So once again I was bombing along through the most amazing scenery. 20 minutes later I see a flashing truck with "Be prepared to stop at request. Film crew ahead".. So I thought, here we go again. But they had to be the most elusive film crew as there wasn't a sign of them and I was free to keep bombing towards Mount Cook. On my return trip to Lake Tekapo, there was another film crew truck but it seemed to be packing up. I have not a clue where that film crew was, what it was filming or where it is now, but for all I know there could be some period drama with a white nissan discernable speeding along in the background. Doubtful but a thought that makes me smile.

Well tomorrow I bid farewell to Lake Tekapo and am heading to Franz Joseph Glacier. Will update after my Glacier hike on Thursday! Weather of course permitting, hopefully it will stay my friend.

Swimming with Dolphins

2006-03-12T15:47:00.000+11:00

Hi Guys

It is me again, a very jammy cow indeed as the weather has really been my friend and I got to swim with dolphins! Yeah, lots and lots of wild Dusky Dolphins!

When I left off I had been to watch whales, which was great and all but lets face it Sperm Whales aren't exactly playful! Beautiful but beyond spouting water before finally diving, they don't do much.. Now dolphins, they are much more about the entertainment value. So yesterday morning, when I dragged my sleepy self out of bed at 5am, threw on a swim suit and some warm clothes, blearily worked out how to de-mist my car windows and slowly drove to the dolphin encounter office, there was a small dissident part of my brain that was hoping that it would be cancelled due to weather so that I could go back to bed, where frankly my body firmly believed it belonged.

However, as mentioned the weather was on my side, so rather than snuggling back in to my sleeping bag, I found myself squeezing in to a very fetching (NOT) wet suit, picking up my fippers, snorkel and mask and watching a video on the dos and don'ts when swimming with the wild dusky dolphins.

One of the first things that they flagged (repeatedly I might add) is that these dolphins are wild, so they can not predict whether they will want to play with us or not. As a result, we were told that it was crucial that we entertain the dolphins. Personally I think that the sight of me in a wet suit and flippers should be enough entertainment for anyone, but no they wanted us to sing, make silly noises, circle and if possible dive, in order to keep the dolphins entertained and therefore interacting with us. Oh boy!

After the video we popped on a coach, were taken to our boat (there were about 15 of us on a boat) and off we went in search of dolphins. I have to admit that I was really starting to have mis-givings, it wasn't exactly a warm morning (although the sun rise was spectacular over the water) and what if the dolphins decided that they didn't like me. Could I take the rejection?

Within 25 minutes a pod of hundreds of Dusky dolphins was located and we joined them. We went out on deck and sat on the edge of the boat, waiting for the signal that the propeller had been switched off and that is was safe to get in the water, that at this point was only making my feet feel arctic. Dolphins were everywhere leaping through the air, doing somersaults, playing around the boat and near my flippers. The water was full of them, so when the horn sounded, it wasn't a case of swimming towards the dolphins, more a case of slipping in to the water directly with them.

Now I won't lie to you, for the first minute or so I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to stay in. I started to hyperventilate but realised that this was my body reacting to the sudden drop in temperature, so I stayed calm and within 30 very long seconds I was breathing normally again. About 2 metres to my right I could see a woman with her arm up giving the distress signal to the boat, that came round to pick her up, I can only assume that she had the same experience but it freaked her out, poor thing.

Once I was breathing again I put my face in the water as instructed and realise that there were 2 dolphins swimming directly under me. I squeeled, and the pressure started as I tried to swim (arms by side dolphin style as instructed), look at dolphins and think of something to sing, or noises to make. It is amazing what rubbish I came out with, but I can only blame my brain for being partially frozen at the time. I soon realised that I needed to make more of an effort as none of the dolphins were staying with me, so I started circling and for some reason "Rain drops keep falling on my head" came out at a high pitched hum and that seemed to do the trick as a couple of dolphins started circling me and really looking at me (we were also encouraged to return eye contact, which is an amazing feeling) so that was my tune for the morning, with the odd warble and splutter in between, as inevitably I would get distracted and go to deep and end up drinking sea water through my snorkel.

Suffice it to say, it was an amazing experience and I recommend it to everyone. We seemed to swim for ages and it was great to have the dolphins playing around you. They would come so close, within inches of me and they seemed to find my bad singing entertaining (either that or they are Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid fans! It is a great film).

At one point we got back on the boat to move on before swimming with yet more dolphins, it was great and everyone on our boat seem to have great success with them, as they leapt around them and circled around. I'll never forget it. The captain of the boat did point out, as we were heading back and we saw huge pod of dolphins, that we should be flattered that our dolphins stayed with us rather than going to join the pod. I definitely feel humbled by them, rather than flattered. It was a strange feeling as you really felt that they were assessing you as the swam around you. It was so awesome (sweet as bro, choice...)

After that we changed back in to our warm clothes on the boat and I took lots of pictures and little video clips of the pod, so you can all see them when I get back if you want to.

That is when the cold finally hit me! Even with every warm item of clothing in my possession I was still cold! By the time we got back to shore I could hardly feel my toes, so I drove straight back to the hostel to be re-united with my sleeping bag. I really didn't do much that morning beyond sleep in bed or snooze in front of the television.

At around 5pm I dragged myself to the supermarket and remembered that I was supposed to check if the sunset horse trek over Kaikoura was happening (as when I had called them before I was the only person to book and the weather forecast was looking dodgy). Once again I hoped to hear the words that it was cancelled, but weather was still being friendly and 6 other people had booked on the trip so I had 10 minutes to work out where I was going before grabbing my jacket and trainers and heading to the farm.

Once again, I am glad that my laziness didn't win out as it was an amazing evening as we rode our horses up in to mount Fyffe and got some amazing views over Kaikoura plus we were rewarded with the most amazing sun set! It was breath taking. My horse was called Star and she was a bit of a star really. All of the others that came out (4 brits and 2 americans plus our 2 kiwi guides) were really good fun so we had a great time. By the time we got back (did have a bit of a short run and managed not to fall off this time, so am making progress!) it was dark, we had laughed a lot and our guides (the owner of the farm that we had been riding across, through fields with sheep and cows) had set up some drinks for us plus a lovely cooked Crayfish for us all to taste. So much better than lobster! Their cat Splodge was very affectionate, turns out that she is a big fan of crayfish and that we are all a bunch of softies as we kept feeding it to her! Expensive cat!

After that I had my first experience of driving through pitch black country lanes (I did good), had a couple of glasses of red wine at the hostel before climbing in to bed to sleep the sleep of the truly knackered.

When I woke up this morning the sky was grey and it was raining solidly. Which goes to show that the weather is my friend, as if it had been like that yesterday both the dolphin swim and the horse trek would have been a no go. Instead, today I happily packed up my stuff, loaded up the car and headed to Christchurch with windscreen wipers on hyperspeed most of the way (bends PLUS rain - excellent combination).

So here I am in Christchurch where the sun is shining (left the rain behind about 30 minutes before getting here) and I have had a lovely Sunday afternoon wander through the park, the botantical gardens, the arts centre & market and where I will be watching Casanova in the cinema in 10 minutes (a cinema! I am so excited by the idea of going to a cinema! See I am still a townie at heart!)

Yeah! So I had better go and get the popcorn in!

Whales ahoy

2006-03-10T11:07:00.000+11:00

Well as the name of the post implies I did go whale watching this morning, the weather was my friend today.

After a quiet night at the Top Spot Backpackers last night, another nice hostel full of very friendly and chatty people (plus the obligatory guy who plays guitar and knows the entire Jack Johnson back catalogue), as well as having a lovely cat that is 18 years old and is enjoying his twilight years by being fed bbq and generally spoilt by the backpacker community. Lucky old thing.

In the morning I dragged myself out of bed at 8am, which was hard as it was pretty cool out, I am now used to warmer temperatures, had a lovely hot shower, dressed and staggered out to my car to drive the full 5 minutes round the corner to the Whale Watch office (I am turning in to an American! sorry to my Californian friends, but you know what I mean!). Much to my relief our boat was confirmed to be going out and other than light swells the sea was pretty calm. In fact, while the temperature has dropped the sky is a beautiful clear blue and the sun is very bright. Hopefully it will warm up here during the day.

We headed out on a coach to the boat and I was sat next to a nice Irish girl called Katherine, who realised that she had left her memory card for her camera at the chemist where they were putting the pictures on to disc for her. As a result she is with me now as we are waiting for my photos to be put on disc, one each so she has shots of the whales in action.

On average Whale Watch say they see 1-2 sperm whales on an outing. We were spoilt and saw 3 of them. They are amazing, although it is hard to get a feel for how big they are because most of them is underwater. They had come up to re-oxygenate before another dive (they generally stay under water feeding for 45 mins, although apparently the record is over 2 hours!). You can see the water spouting when they are up for air. I took lots of pictures that all look like a log in the water, but that is life! I do have a couple of great tail shots though from when 2 of them were diving! It was excellent, worth the morning for that alone.

We were also joined out there by some lovely large albatross (sorry but they just look like giant sea gulls to me!) and a huge pod of hundreds of dusky dolphins. I have got some great pictures of them jumping and swimming around the boat. They seemed to be having so much fun, I can't wait to swim with them tomorrow morning (weather permitting, fingers firmly crossed, although I do realise that even in a wet suit, it is going to be arctic in there.. brrrrr). After that we sailed past a load of fur seals lounging on the rocks. By this point my camera battery had decided that it had enough and had run out. Fortunately I have lots of pictures of fur seals from Abel Tasman so I wasn't too worried, plus hopefully we will go past them on the dolphin swim trip as they were near where the pod of dolphins were frollicking.

So that brings me up to date again. I will keep you posted on the dolphin swim and am currently making my mind up about whether to go for a sunset horseriding trek around Kaikora tomorrow night. Although, knowing me, I will talk myself in to it using the "once in a lifetime trip" card. It works everytime. So for my friends in London, all I can say is I may be a tad on the poor side when I see you all again in July. I will not object should anyone want to buy me a drink : )

Paradise and infernos

2006-03-09T15:10:00.000+11:00

Hello All,

Well I am playing catch up as I haven't had internet access in days. When I left off I was about to go Kayaking in the Marlborough Sound.

Well I woke up that morning to a glorious day for paddling, I grabbed a hearty breakfast and headed to the dock to check in. There were 6 of us going out, including the guide, so 3 double kayaks. I lucked out and was in with the guide, which is always the best way to get all the insights as you paddle round. The scenery was amazing and we saw lots of shags (which, once I stopped giggling like a school girl, I realised were birds). We paddled in to the heart of the national park area, stopping for refreshments on a lovely quiet beach. It was really good fun.

We got back to Picton around 4pm and I jumped straight in the car to head to Abel Tasman (a 4 hour drive and I wanted to get there before dark, so it was beat the sun time). I made it injury free, despite another run of very bendy roads. I think I am getting used to them and find it odd now if I drive in a straight line for too long. This could be problematic when I get back to the UK!

I found Old MacDonald's Farm, where I was staying, no problem! How cool to be staying on a farm! They had a cafe, so I grabbed a burger and was eagerly watched by some hens, a peacock and some pea hens to see if I was in the mood to share my food with them (I wasn't).

I was in a 4 bed dorm, but only one of the other beds was occupied, by a really nice lady called Kate, from Cambridge, and it was good to have someone to chat with. The next day I took an Aqua Taxi out to Anchorage (which is a bay in the Abel Tasman national park). The taxi itself was great fun. It was quite windy so it was bouncing through the waves and I was getting pretty soaked. Nothing quite like it for waking you up! From Anchorage I had a nice tramp back to the entrance to Abel Tasman (which is where I was staying in a tiny town called Marahau), that took me about 4 hours, with stops at some of the pretty bays along the way, plus a bit of a chat with a girl that I bumped in to that had been in the same dorm as me in Picton. Small world of travellers out here, it really is.

The walk itself was fantastic with some amazing views, lovely patches walking through the trees and giant ferns, which gave it all a kind of pre-historic feel. Plus often you were completely alone on the track so it was nice to amble along, taking in the views, hearing the bird song and generally day dreaming.

That evening back at the farm, we had a guy in the dorm next to us, which meant that there were 3 of us sitting around, comparing travel notes and giving each other advice on must see places (Mount Cook has now appeared on my list of places to go after seeing Kate's pictures). It is so hard as I am fast running out of time and can't do everything. As the weather has been a little changeable I might just give the glaciers a miss, but that just gives me another reason to come back here for another holiday (maybe not quite as extended next time!)

The next morning was another day of Kayaking. I got up early and did the whole windy road thing to Kaiteriteri where the trip was setting off. This time there was 10 of us in 5 double kayaks. From the mix of people, you could tell that we were going to have a great time despite the grey and windy start to the day. There were 2 couples from Texas (the oldest in the group turning 70 next month) that were really good fun. A really sweet couple from the UK (Londoners, although Nora was originally from Wales but had what sounded like a Liverpool accent, confused me I can tell you). Plus our Canadian guide, Damian, his girlfriend Shelley (a Kiwi) and Damian's friend Jessie (another Canadian who was the 2nd guide for the group).

As Damian referred to the double kayaks as divorce boats, he shared with me rather than his girlfriend, so once again I got the best of the trip by being with the guide. Actually it was hilarious as Shelley spent a lot of the trip saying how hopeless Damian was and that they had no future. The couples loved winding Damian up by saying that every pretty secluded bay was a good spot to get engaged and I just took the mickey (unlike me I know). It was a real giggle.

We went far up in to the National park on an Aqua taxi to get our kayaks and we paddled out to an island that is a protected seal colony. There were seals swimming around the kayaks and seal pups watching us from the rocks (at only about 3 months old, they weren't allowed out to play by their mums). We headed to a bay to have our lunch and sleeping in the rocks by where we were eating was a big, lazy, male seal who had obviously gone there to escape from all the females.

After lunch we paddle towards Bark Bay where we were being picked up by Aqua Taxi at 4pm. Along there way were some great rocks that we navigated through paddling like mad and shreeking. It was great fun, bit of an adrenaline rush, although not really that scary. Not everyone went through them all, as I think that they thought we were a bit mad, but me & Damian were thrilled to see Ed & Virginia (Ed is the one turning 70 next month) following us through. We could hear Virginia going "Ed I said I didn't want to go through the rocks" while we saw them getting near the rocks and were shouting "Paddle harder!". They made it through fine, although I think I am getting to understand why they are called divorce boats.

This was the best kayak trip so far and I definitely have the bug now. Want to do more! Plus Abel Tasman is just a gorgeous place to kayak, everyone should go there! There is a sign up in the Park Cafe by the entrance to the national park that says "Smile, it's another lovely day in paradise", for me that summed it up. Abel Tasman is a little piece of paradise.

Anyway after that day trip I was sad to get up this morning and leave Abel Tasman for a 5 hour drive to Kaikora, which is where I am now. Nothing much to report about the journey, well except for the inferno part. As I was tackling the many bends coming towards Havelock, there were signs telling us to slow down to 30km/hr, I turned the bend and straight ahead of me the forest was on fire, with smoke coming out from the trees right next to the road (obviously they had that part under control or they wouldn't be letting traffic through, but it was still quite exciting). To our left where helicopters taking off with big buckets hanging under them, going over the trees and dropping water on the fire. It was pretty phenomenal to see in action, we didn't need any encouragement to all go at 30km as everyone was gawking out of their car windows. I couldn't help but feel sad though, as that beautiful wooded area was going up in smoke, I hope that they managed to contain it all quickly.

Well now I am in Kaikora. Weather permitting I am going Whale watching tomorrow morning at 9am (I checked in at Whale Watch and they think we should be good to go for the morning runs, although they are bit worried about the forecast for their trips going in the afternoon, glad that I followed the advice of the girl I spoke to when I booked, as she said I had a better chance of going out in the morning). Saturday morning at 5.30am I am going to swim with Dolphins (again weather permitting). Suffice it to say, I am not looking forward to the early start, or having to squeeze myself in to a wet suit again, but it is an experience that I really don't want to miss.

So that is my latest news... once again I have got completely carried away with all the details, but as you all know me, I can't help myself. At least I have managed to keep the tangents to a minimum!

Love to all

Lovely sunny Picton

2006-03-05T11:51:00.000+11:00

Well I have fully recovered from the excitement for the crossing yesterday. I popped to the pub round the corner for a nice spot of seafood (when I say a spot, the portion defeated even me, I don't think I can face seafood again for a while).

When I got back to the hostel loads of people where in the TV room watching the Last Samurai, so I grabbed a spot on a bean bag and watched Tom Cruise (sorry but he is a mad midget, I don't care how famous he is) once again fail to die (hope I haven't spoilt this for anyone else but it is kind of obvious, he just won't die in films, I think there should be a clause in his next film requiring him to die in a really gory, terminal, no hopes of a magic recovery kind of way, it would cheer me up!)

Feeling thorougly sleepy afterwards I headed back to my room, another set of nightmare bunk bed ladders (I made it up, although it really wasn't dignified and thank god for the PJs that Jenny got me, they are getting a lot of use out here). I think last night had to qualify as my best nights sleep to date. I was completely out for the count and the bed was so comfy once you made it up the ladder. I woke up to sunshine and feeling wonderfully relaxed. 3 coffees later and I am still very mellow.

Unfortunately my plans to go kayaking today where scuppered by the fact that due to lack of demand the half day afternoon session wasn't going out. But all is not lost as I am booked on the full day kayaking trip which should be fab (they include lunch, which as a traveller I really appreciate, I am just so bored about having to work out what to eat, fortunately I have a supply of muesli bars for when the apathy completely takes over so I am not going to starve to death or anything). I can hardly wait and will report all on my next update. So we are out from around 9am getting back at 4.30am. At this point I hope my arms aren't too jellified as I am driving for 3 hours up to Abel Tasman national park, where I am staying at Old MacDonald's farm, as it is a place recommended by one of the other backpackers here who has just come back from that area. They have loads of animals roaming around there, as it is a working farm, complete with Llamas. I have 3 nights there, so I am really looking forward to it (plus it will be nice to be in one place for 3 whole nights, the decadence of it!).

Oh and one last thing to say, since I am looking forward to Shark's Tale in the TV room tonight, Sequoia Lodge here in Picton is fantastic. So if any of you are ever over this way, I heartily recommend it. Lovely bunch of people, good facilities and the TV room is virtually a cinema type experience.

As it hasn't been long since my last post, really don't have a lot more to report. I can give you a few highlights in terms of funny signs etc I have seen so far:

1. In New Plymouth on the back of an admittedly filthy car a large sticker reading "I wish my wife was this dirty"

2. On Nelson Square here in Picton, which is one way, very helpfully states "Wrong Way" for anyone who might not realise they are going in the opposite direction to everyone else

3. Announcement on the Interislander ferry just before we left Wellington "our current etd is 2pm, members of the crew will be going round shortly with sick bags, we recommend that you take one.."

So many other things have made me giggle along the way, but my mind is now a blank. I leave you all as I head beachward (well I am sure there must be a beach around here somewhere...)

Choice!

Beating sea sickness

2006-03-04T18:54:00.000+11:00

Well I have made it to Picton so am back on the South Island. My last blog update I was heading to Wellington and my journey was pretty uneventful except for some very strong gusts of wind, which should have been a sign of things to come. I made it in to Wellington and drove round for ages trying to find the youth hostel, which, once located was full. I than drove around some more looking for alternative, as parking anywhere in the vague proximity of the information office was proving impossible.

After an hour of getting no where fast, although I was getting a good feel of this very windy city and the lack of parking and I decided to stop at the first hotel I saw. Hang the expense. So I stayed the night at the Duxton Hotel (they had a special on but it still was well beyond my usual budget level) where they had valet parking (bless them). As it was so hideous out (I almost got taken out by a metal chair from a cafe that decided to fly at me down the pavement) I made the most of my room (well given the fact I couldn't really afford it, would have been rude not to) so I had a decadent evening with my own bathroom (man I was enjoying that bath until housekeeping starting pounding on my door about turning my sheets down, I explained that I was in the bath and could turn my own sheets down later, it really wouldn't be a problem) and my own TV (oh yes, lots of TV wonderfulness for me to watch). I even went mad and ordered some room service. Lovely. Later when I looked out my window the weather had melted down even further, with some really quite spectacular horizontal rain action going on. But just cos I was getting the ferry the next morning, I refused to be worried.

Anyway, my radio alarm in the room went off at 7am and the news was on. Turns out that after facing 10m high waves the night before, people had been injured on the interslander ferry by some flying furniture (various cracked ribs and broken arms) and a lot of the cars had been totalled (they shifted in transit so the proud owner of a Porsche discovered when they docked that a truck had landed on top of it - nice!). As you can imagine it was chaos and the outlook was not good for the ferry going that day.

I however refused to be defeated (mainly because I didn't have a clue what else to do) but checked out, picked up my car for our final journey together and headed to the ferry where I was to drop the car off (turns out I just had to park it in a certain section of the car pack and drop the keys in a box, which is worrying as I hope that they don't invent damage to the car without me there... oh well I have to have some faith in human nature, despite all my years living in London, right?).

I went in to the departures area where there were people how had turned up for the ferry the night before (last one didn't go out) and people who were due to go on the 8.30am crossing (I was booked on the 10.35am crossing). All our crossings were officially cancelled but the lovely people at Interislander had got their biggest ferry (therefore safest to go over in gale force winds and by this point more subdued 5-6m high waves) and we were all getting on it (the joy of being a foot passenger). We boared at 10am. We actually left at gone 2pm, so it has been a very long day.

It was good though, as there was a definite camaraderie on board, mainly I think because people were so relieved to be heading off at all, plus there was the impending threat of sea sickness. Following advice from one of the crew I sat in the bar area near the back of the boat. I was soon surrounded by a really nice bunch of people. A lovely couple from Palmerston North fed me ginger as that is supposed to prevent sea sickness. I had a great chat with a guy that had come down from Auckland and had been waiting to leave since the night before. A group of people from the Ulysses bikers group made me laugh through the roughest parts of the journey, while in the calm final hour in to Picton, once we were out of open seas and in the sounds I had a nice chat with a chap, recovering from sea sickness who was en route to Dunedin to see his 3 month old son. It was great and I wasn't sick once, which my mum will attest to being unusual, as I normally get travel sick looking at a boat. It was actually really good fun and great to chat to such a lovely mix of people. We were a bit concerned when we saw a bit of the ship fly off during the journey (it looked like a railing - when the crew were told about it they looked concerned and asked if anyone had been attached to it at the time, fortunately we hadn't seen anyone go in with it!). It would have been hard for anyone to get swept overboard though since the sun deck was closed as it just wasn't safe to be out there.

I picked up my new car (a Nissan pulsar that feels like a toy after my lovely peugeot and which for some reason has a child seat in it, I didn't ask why as it may come in handy if I decide to pick up any under 3 yr old hitch hikers) and can now sympathise with Andy H as my indicators are on the other side of the wheel, so now it is me putting on my windscreen wipers every time that I want to turn a corner... oopsie.

I am at a hostel that seems nice called Sequoia lodge, and will be here for a couple of nights, as there are supposed to be some really nice walks and kayaking trips around here that I want to investigate tomorrow after a good nights sleep.

Anyway I have precisely 1 1/2 minutes left before my money runs out, so I had better upload this.

Love to all